Mom here with a question about meds...

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Are any of you on antidepressants and when did you start? Did they help? My daughter is 11 and very depressed. Want to get her evaled by a psychatrist, just wondering if meds did help and at what point. Also for girls, what is the best advice you can give a perfectionist that constantly compares herself to others? My daughter's self esteem is very low with everything I try nothing works. We love her unconditionally and give her lots of compliments but no success seems good enough for her. Her only special interest is reading which is a fairly solitary act. She lacks the social skills to keep friends. I am terrified of middle school for her.

Well for meds, i'd say wait till after the eval. I've never taken anti-depressants by I worked through my depression just fine. I was given vitamins though, which still isn't as hardcore.

As for the self-esteem, that's just something that's going to need work, for maybe the rest of her life as far as I know.
I guess just try to help her find something she's good at and have her keep doing it. It should get her mind off of how she looks.

Also, Middle school is a time every kid is mean towards each other. the social scene should get better once high school starts.

Your daughter sounds a lot like me. I'm a total perfectionist and have very low self-esteem. I also spend all my time reading. I got on an antidepressant sort of recently, Prozac, I'm 15 at the moment. I'm on a very small dose but I think I might be just hypersensitive to medications because it's helped me A LOT and saved me from suicide. The only side effects I got was being very jittery when I first started taking it, but that's not a problem anymore.

When I was younger I had very poor self-esteem. That was compounded when my parents would compliment me inappropriately. That is, they never really noticed the things that were important to me, but would just gush (now and then) compliments over minor things that I didn't care about to what even now I think was an inappropriate degree. Also, it was intermittent. One semester I'd be taken to supper at a cafeteria if I made straight "A"s, the next not. And if we did go to the cafeteria, sometimes I was allowed to get what I'd like, other times they'd give me a $2 limit (which, even then, wasn't a lot). It all came across as very fake, as if they were only going through the motions because they thought they had to, which just made things worse as it meant they could not be depended on to be an accurate barometer of "how I was doing" in the world.

The only thing I can suggest is that you foster your daughter's interests in any way possible. If there's a way to provide her with goals to meet so that she can be successful, that would help. Learned competency is a great antidote for low self-esteem.

Good for you for anticipating middle school. Middle school and high school may not be all that tough academically, but they are just brutal, socially.

I am on antidepressants. I have been on them for a good bit. I go off and on but we found that they really help with sensory overloads. I forget when I got on but I was around her age. Middle school can be torture however i am sure there is club or something to capture her interests. As far as self esteem I have very little advice I have been bullied my whole school life so.

I'm 15 and on Zoloft. see if the psychiatrist mentions it (if at all). Zoloft works very well for me.
Good luck everything will eventually be alright, just takes time (I think you already know that though )

One PS to my earlier post: I was pretty depressed as a teen, but the drugs did not exist that exist today. Even if they had, only "crazy" people were medicated and thus my family would never have taken me for that kind of treatments. Still, I got through it unmedicated. It wasn't pleasant and I really wouldn't wish it on anyone, but was survivable. From those years' experience, I have to say that if there's any way to do it (and there may not be), I'd encourage you and your daughter to examine what it is that is causing her depression and deal with that directly (again, if possible) rather than resorting to medications. They can become an emotional crutch, if not a physical one. Life isn't always pleasant or pretty or what we'd like it to be. Dealing with the ugly parts helps you learn how to deal with the ugly parts. By all means, in a crisis situation grab for any help available. But I would caution against long-term use if it's a situational depression unless you were also working on coping strategies.

Just a question about Zoloft: would/should the doctor who prescribes it do so regardless of if the recipient has insurance?

I don't think antidepressants can lead to good things in the long run. I think it's better to cry it out than numb it with drugs. About not having the social skills to keep friends, I've had some friends I kind of stopped hanging out with because I messed everything up even though I only did my best. Now I seem to be rekindling friendships because I've gained certain wisdom. For example, don't play the sympathy game too much but still let potential friends know if you struggle socially. I was just at my friend's house who I think I'm closer to now that she knows a bit about my AS.

I have a colorful psychiatric history and have to take other meds but Cymbalta has been a lifesaver for my OCD. I went too high on it and wound up manic (how I found out I was bipolar) so you're going to want to keep an eye out to see if your daughter suddenly gets really energized and reckless.

Is she doing therapy to? If not I highly recommend it.

I suggest visiting a reiki master.
Drugs only cause problems.
If you use ANY medicine at all it should be natural.

-Questions? Add mmstick on Xfire

I'd suggest waiting for the results as well. But as far as I know, antidepressants cost quite a bit. Also, if you can, talk to your daughter about joining, say, a book club. Perhaps she can read new books, if nothing else, but it ought to give her some social opportunities.