My paranoid parents want to fix me

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It's not about being an a***hole(by the way, the British form of this word doesn't censored). Aspies get rejected simply because they are weird. Most peers don't tolerate me, but some do.

Aspergers on its own could actually help you get a job, a lot of aspie traits like being able do work independently and think originally would help you get a job. Except lacking social skills. That said, i dont know how your Aspergers affects you so i cant say exactly.

It kind of sounds like your parents aren't trying to "fix" you, I think they're just worried that you will struggle to find a job and live a comfortable life after they're gone. If you can find a job and show them you can take care of yourself they might back off on all of this "fixing" business.

Please go into detail about your social survival techniques.

We should assess whether or not those techniques are good, moderate, or poor. This is important because you may change your mind in the future, and having good social survival techniques will make that process easier.

I talk to people as little as possible, am serious all the time and don't tell jokes.
Discretion is my creed.

You have really good English skills, Cockroach.

You must have done well in English when you were in high school.

I was the best at English in middle school, but in high school everybody became equally fluent in it. English is the second native language of our generation. It's everywhere and we learned it mostly by immersion.