Do you feel your parents don't understand you??

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Do you feel your parents don't understand you??
Yes, they do. 5%  5%  [ 3 ]
No, not at all. 24%  24%  [ 14 ]
They understand some things about me/ understand me sometimes. 43%  43%  [ 25 ]
I have one supportive parent. 28%  28%  [ 16 ]
Total votes : 58

Guitar_Girl
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30 Jun 2010, 4:51 pm

Sometimes I feel like no one understands me at all..


(I have one supportive parent)



LittleTigger
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30 Jun 2010, 5:41 pm

My dad don't get me. I think he just realised this a few
years ago.

Mums been good to me, she's made her mistakes,
but she realised them.


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Brittany2907
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30 Jun 2010, 6:30 pm

When I speak about my parents here I am referring to my mother and step father (because my biological father is someone who is not in my life). They understand some things about me but not everything. Sometimes I can't talk to them because they don't understand what I mean, but they try to help me if I need help.


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clumsybee
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01 Jul 2010, 1:04 pm

My parents do the best they can with me, since I'm so different from anyone else. They understand a little, but they're completely healthy and NT's too, the exact opposite of me.



Asp-Z
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01 Jul 2010, 1:10 pm

NTs never understand Aspies. Parents are no different.

Being supportive and accepting is different from understanding. Don't get me wrong or anything, acceptance is very important from a parent, but it still isn't understanding.

My mum tries her best to be accepting of me, but she often tells me off for Aspie related things regardless, though she tells me she does it to "teach me about the world" (I hate that phrase, it's so patronising). She also seems to go through phases of being really nice and accepting that last a few days before she goes back to normal.

My dad on the other hand, despite scoring high in the AQ test and often acting very Aspie himself, goes on about how I need to learn social skills and that this will somehow "cure" me whenever the subject of Asperger's comes up in conversation :roll:



DerKodeMeister
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01 Jul 2010, 3:25 pm

My mom is very supportive, but not very understanding I'd have to say. She tries her best and I thank her for that, but we have two very differing personalities.

My dad is a jerk to everyone, or at least comes across that way. My mom seems to only be hanging on to him for financial reasons, and he's completely oblivious to everything; it's really sad. He will shove his opinion down my throat and he yells louder and louder until I finally cave and "listen" to him. He'll twist and turn everything I say in to being "rude" or "arguing with him". No one I know really gets him at all; I can't have any kind of conversation with him without it becoming a ridiculous argument, in which there's no reasoning, no real conversation at all, simply stupid hypocritical nitpicks about "inflection" and "body language", two things that he can't use any better than I.

I used to be close to my mom, but as I've gotten older I feel more and more alienated from my parents. I'm doing most of my college searching myself, am almost 17 and only have 2 hours of driving time under my belt (despite that my mom tells me I'm a good driver.) They seem to have assumed that since I had Aspergers, the only good advice for me about life came from "professionals."

They never talked to me about sex, about getting a girlfriend, even how to make friends or doing simple life skills like doing laundry or cooking. My speech pathologist would work with me when I was very young about "how to make friends", but I hated that woman. She and I weren't close in any way, shape, or form. I wanted my parents to teach me such things, but I couldn't formulate that in to words for them so they just assumed I was "resistant to help".

I do appreciate their weird way of parenting though, in that I know what didn't work for me. I hated that my parents didn't trust their own way of teaching me to do things, and that I couldn't work with the "professionals" to learn things that, in my opinion, should be up to the parents to teach their children.


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superboyian
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04 Jul 2010, 9:39 am

I used to feel how you used to feel and its a pretty horrible feeling but remember the only person who understand people the most would be you because you know yourself more than anybody else and your parents is the reason you are here in the world today.

It seems alot of people here would understand how you feel since most of us on this forum are on the spectrum but remember, you have your parents on your side, I would rely on them the most. It helps. As much as they are trying to understand you, you're probably trying to understand them. :)

But yea, talking to them (even though I used to find that pretty awkward) it normally works for me.


- superboyian. =]


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simwicky
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08 Jul 2010, 7:18 pm

My parents are split and my Dad is narcissistic. Hence I avoid him where ever possible

Lucky for me my Mum is a fellow aspie and it's only recently we've started to figure out that this is why we get along so well. She's kind of grown down since she separated from my Dad, and now she plays Neopets and dresses up stuffed animals. She's also studied psychology and neurological + emotional disorders. So I suppose I'm in the best possible situation I could be in eh? 8O She's always, always there for me and has helped me achieve my potential as an AS. When she was a kid she suffered her whole childhood though with absolutely no one who understood her. Then she swore to herself that she would not let her own kids end up feeling that way. Although I am her only kid, she's definitely done well, and healing emotionally after the hell that's gone on for her as an undiagnosed aspie in her own life.



cazzie2010
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09 Jul 2010, 3:08 am

I have one supportive parent and that my mum, she dont unerstand everything but she trys



Leiservampir
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09 Jul 2010, 3:54 am

I usually feel my parents (Mother and stepfather) don't understand me at all. That noone does.
But when I get into situations where I need help, my mum's always the one I run crying to :lol: I reckon she understands me better than I think she does.
And my stepdad doesn't always show he understands me, but he has Aspergers anyway, which does really help the situation, so I guess he understands me more than my mum, but can't show it.


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ale
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29 Jul 2010, 12:27 am

My mom doesn't seem to get quite well what bein' an aspie means (i.e, dyscalculia, bad memory remembering names, anxiety and depression, self-harm, tantrums,fascination about non-relevant themes, etc), so I try not to worry her and when she's present I try not to worry her and not havin' tantrums, hurting myself or boring her w/ things that don't matter her. If not she says me a thousand times "This is too 'autist', don't do it"
My father (I suspect he's not fully NT, but doesn't fit in any ASD I can think of) understands me much better and supports me at most things I try. He doesn't fit well into NT'ism, he's overtly objective, he's way too organized, and seems too understand how I am and feel



Dnuos
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29 Jul 2010, 12:48 pm

Sometimes - while they understand me a bit more lately, in the past they didn't understand my depression phases, or why I was such a weirdo sometimes. As well as many other things. Sometimes it caused pretty serious problems.

I guess possibly we're hard to understand anyways? Through the eyes of an NT, I mean.



YoshiPikachu
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29 Jul 2010, 7:28 pm

I don't think they understand me at all. My grandma kind of does.


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Guitar_Girl
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30 Jul 2010, 6:50 am

YoshiPikachu wrote:
I don't think they understand me at all. My grandma kind of does.


I always went to my memmy for help



Eldanesh
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31 Jul 2010, 8:49 pm

Actually, the problem is my having little empathy towards them. My mother has experience in treating/accommodating autism on a professional level (and for unrelated reasons). Ultimately I begin to think they are losing out, rather than me.



Meliev
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19 Aug 2010, 2:49 pm

my mom doesn't understand at all, she is very unsupportive, I told her I might have Aspenger but she commented on how Aspies are "ret*d" people. I know for a fact that I'm an Aspie and am just waiting to tell my doctor, but my mother's comment just made me so depressed that I'm ashamed to telling the rest of my family including my father who i just recently met 2 years ago. I just feel like no one understands me, my only hope is on getting that diagnosis. :C