Why does my mum think I'm the one in the wrong?

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Here's the situation, happens somewhat often.

I'll be doing something, generally minding my own business, when my mum will move her hands all over my hair to "check my scalp" (whatever the hell that's meant to mean) or something similar. I'll generally communicate my displeasure at this because I find it annoying and it makes my hair feel weird after.

In response to this, my mum then starts annoying me even further by poking me or something. I will usually tell her at this point that it's annoying, I don't like it, etc, but she still won't stop, at which point I'll get angry, but usually try to avoid any arguments by simply walking out of the room.

Now, for some reason, this makes her angry, so much so that she will follow me, shout at me, get in an argument anyway, and sometimes throw some sort of pointless punishment at me, pretty much just to get the point across that "I'm better than you, and if I want to piss you off, I can, because I pay for everything and I'm older" (she's actually said stuff along those lines to me too, but that's a different matter).

Now, can anyone tell me exactly what it is I do wrong here? Why is it she seems to be convinced I'm the bad guy? I tell her I don't like it, I don't find it funny, etc, and to top it off, I know for a fact she's aware that I have problems with touch.

Whenever I confront her about it, she says she's just joking, in a tone which sounds like I've just done something really horrible, and when I tell her I don't find it funny - get this - she gets angry about that as well.

Go figure

(this was more a vent than anything else, but if you do have any tips, please tell me, thanks)

I don't know how you keep from raging on her and
clawing her eyes out so to speak.

Congrats forkeeping it together, unfortunately for me
I could not do this and was ripped from my home and
put into a pit, for a long time I never talked to my mum
and it took my moving away to make her realise what
an idiot she was.

I don't have a very good controller.

One question you might ask your mum when she does
this, "Do you hate me? because when you treat me like
this, I do NOT feel very loved." Ask her if she would
relish paying your way through life through disability
tax because she is disabling you and sucking the life
out of you. This is what happened to me, alot of people
I guess did not want me to be "successfull" in life and
just kept draining the life from me until I had nothing
left to give, now they have to pay my way the rest of
my life, or they did not think and stop about what
would happen if they kept draining the ability out of me.

Sometimes, a person must dish BACK the treatment they
are being given to make the other person realise how they
are hurting someone.

I did something "mean" to mum once to make a point,
she said a bunch of krap along those lines and
I said "Oh mum, I was only teasing!" it took a while
for it to sink in to her iron head, but it worked
thank goodness, I did actually fix my controller somewhat.

She tried to do the same thing with my ears yesterday, so I just told her straight away that it seriously annoys me and told her to stop. Let's hope she gets the message.

Good luck, good fortune.

I hope all goes well.

And I really like your signature line,
its cool.

Thanks

I've been there too. Can't offer much help as the only thing that worked for me was moving out.

Based on what I've learned through the years about emotional responses I would guess she feels rejected, although this doesn't excuse her behaviour.

Maybe you could try to find a moment you both feel calm and relaxed and explain how these things make you feel. But think about it first and choose your words carefully - if you say it "annoys" or "bothers" you she might not take it seriously but there's a chance she would be willing to stop if she realises it really makes you feel unloved or abused. I used to have huge difficulties in accurately identifying and expressing emotions or sensations and it caused a lot of confusion - once I ended up in bad shape in ER because I described serious pain as discomfort. It gets even trickier when it comes to feelings.

I hope things get better for you.

I am stumped. The only thing I can think of is that she is getting something out of this behavior, some kind of kick, or satisfaction. So the only thing I can think of is to defuse the situation from the start. It might take you hanging in there a bit and going past your boundaries and comfort zone. The next time she starts this stuff maybe try to stop what you are doing, stand up with your arms out a bit and say 'ok mom, lets get this over with, go ahead and touch me all you want'.
This way you have taken the 'fun' out of whatever it is.

Your mother is being immature. Even I can see that. I don't know what you should do to make her not act like an a**hole though.

She hasen't done it for a week or two now, so I think I finally got the point across!

my whole life ive always been the scapegoat of the familly. For example this morning my father blamed me of making the internet go down last night, even though he was the last person to use it. He went on to say i used my brothers computer and cleared the browser history. He forgot that if the browser isnt used it doesnt store a history.

I think it is the walking out of the room, she is prodding at you and all, but you getting up and leaving got her all mad and offended, even though its just to avoid an argument...
I dont think she actually thinks you are the one doing something wrong here, I think she knows she should stop doing that stuff because its annoying, she was just all offended you got up and left, but yeah you didnt do anything wrong, you can explain to her how annoying it is and that you leave because you dont want to end up in a fight with her.

I'm going through the exact same problem as you are (well kind of?), I'm new here and i wish there was a way i could favorite forums like these, anyways, I hope things with your mom goes well, but for me life is becoming unbearable. If it was to me i would just grab my personal belongings and move out (possibly to grandmas?) but i think of my smaller sister and how life will be hell if i weren't there for her. It seems tho I cant talk to my mom without having an argument, I'm hoping on getting diagnosed soon, maybe it'll change the way my mom sees me, hopefully for the better :-/