Will I be ever not lonely?

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I been alone for so long. I don't think I ever connect with anyone. I know I sound dramatic, but I've lost hope. I don't think I was meant to have friends. I can't socialize anywhere, at home, at school, even online...How do I cope with this?

Welcome to WrongPlanet fellow Washingtonian.

Well, I cope by talking to people here, who are generally friendly, and spending lots of time with my special interests, which keep me sane and occupied. Do you have any obsessions or special interests you can immerse yourself in?

I've gotten to a point where I stopped liking everything, because I didn't know if it was the right thing to like. That was awhile ago, now I'm trying to recover a bit, but it's hard to know what I like now. It's hard to explain.

You are just 16. You have just to keep in touch with society: school, work, anything. Even if you are alone there is always hope left. And you should leave your parents house and go to live with people that don't judge you, possibly with friends. With time you can have a more satisfying life. But you have also to accept your being different, love yourself and be yourself.

If it makes you happy its definitely the right thing to like. Sometimes we try and like things because we think we should for various reasons, so we pretend to ourselves that we 'like' them but really we don't. I know I'm guilty of that a fair bit.

If it makes you happy its definitely the right thing to like. Sometimes we try and like things because we think we should for various reasons, so we pretend to ourselves that we 'like' them but really we don't. I know I'm guilty of that a fair bit.

My family does love me very much, but I feel sort of held back a bit. I want more than just a connection to my family, but that seems impossible for me. Which is why I feel stuck.

I understand the feeling of not feeling you were meant to socialize, ect. I used to have a better social life, but now I can't relate to anyone so I usually sit alone and during lunch I stay in the classrooms or the elevator room on the roof where I can get some privacy to think. I also feel that if I rely too much on a friend, I become overly dependent. I'm falling into that trap, which was why I secluded myself today.

I know how you feel. I'm far too afraid to go out and socialise, and I can't be myself at all with the few friends I've got, who I have little in common with and don't ever spend time with by choice. Hell, they don't know what AS is and I'm not going to tell them I've got it. I guess that, yeah, you've just gotta stick with life and see what happens, and use the internet to it's fullest. At least, that's what I'm going to try.

I wonder if your name is actually Jane, because that's mine.


If not, stop insulting it.

If it makes you feel better I don't have any friends at school either. I haven't made a new friend at school since the fifth grade, that was six years ago. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone to talk to, but nobody cares about the same things as I do. I guess it doesn't help that I don't go to church, I don't do sports, I don't listen to the same kinds of music as most people my age, the more I think about it, the less of a surprise it is that I don't have any friends at school. Because of this, whenever I do get a chance to talk to someone, I'm too concerned about not appearing to be a total dork than anything else, it's no wonder why I hate talking to people.

If you're struggling to find things you like anymore, forget about the judgements of other people think and about yourself, if you want to try something, do it, well do it if it isn't illegal. If you like it stick at it people will come to respect you for what you do. I used to be in the same position as you and then I found skateboarding, and now i've been boarding since I was 10 I might not be too good but people have come to respect me for it, and i've built my group of freinds up from their respect of my perseverance. Just hope you can find yourself something you love doing and then work on it.

Woah hold up there! She never said her fmaily judged her and the best thing to get you through tough times is family. You should never incourage someone to do that if you dont know the situation. Ive been lonely pretty much my whole life (yes im still very young but you start to loose hope) My mum tells me that when im older say uni age i will make friends then who have the same interests and everyone will be more mature and understanding then. It sucks feeling so lonely i know how you mean. The best thing i think you can do is not loose hope although it is so hard. Try to keep practising social skills so when you get to meet other people who like you for who you are you wont freak out and not no what to do. The time will come when we will get friends and the road to it can be a bumpy one. I find socializing online untill i can get friends in real life keeps me satisfied.

Self-perception is important, as is an appreciation that comedy is based on pain, and life is generally perverse.

No, you will never not be alone. Even NTs are always alone. That's why they have such elaborate rituals and rules, to feel like they are a part of a group. Every once in a while we find or feel a connection with someone else, and nearly always it ends and we feel acute loss and hopelessness.

***BUT***

As soon as you get comfortable with yourself and into your own thing and accept this essential human condition, and stop worrying about it... You'll find you are no longer alone, and people seek connections with you. Others are more comfortable with you when you are comfortable with yourself.

It's like looking for your glasses, and tossing the whole house in the process, and finding them on the nightstand. If you'd've just chilled a bit and not been desperate to find the glasses, you would've likely found them sooner and not have a messy house.

***AND***

I know this metaphor and advice is no comfort to anyone who has not survived where you at now. It seems trite and belittling, like saying you'll look back at this and laugh. Except I know you'll never look back and laugh. But you will survive, feeling more and more hopeless until you become numb to it and lack the energy for it, and resign yourself to accept it is what it is... And then it will get better. You'll realize the glasses were there on the nightstand all along while you were busy tossing the house.

The worst part about being an aspie is that its so hard to find someone with your interests that live near your area. Im sure things will change eventually. It seems like theres a lot of ppl on here that will talk to you. so my advice is to keep on posting on here and meeting more people.

I was going to offer that same advice.