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Rai27
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19 Jan 2012, 12:04 pm

A while ago I had two speaking exams, one for French and one for German. I sort of blanked for both of them the first two times, although I knew what I wanted to say (and I knew what it was in French/German). I just couldn't get it out of my mouth. Recently I've had a lot of moments like that, when I've really wanted to say something and haven't been able to. It's been happening more and more recently, mostly in situations when people have asked me about how I'm feeling (the girls in my class are very nurturing). Once I managed to speak a little to another girl about stuff - like homework and why I don't do it, etc. but that doesn't happen often. I passed a note to another girl trying to explain my situation and ended up talking to the SENCo about it. Or not talking, really. Also my teachers tell me to speak up more in class, but mostly I don't.
Yet at other times it is all completely natural and I can speak - normally with a group I hang out with in the library, but yesterday and a few other times recently I have surprised myself by talking to people I don't know very well as if it is completely natural for me. Sometimes this is in school and sometimes it is at clubs and groups like Guides or football training. Another thing is I am a young leader at a Beavers group (6-8 year olds) and I really enjoy this and I can run activities etc. I also get on well with the other young leaders.
Does anyone else have something like this - as in sometimes they are one person and sometimes they are someone completely different?


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Wheatthins
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19 Jan 2012, 12:27 pm

I don't even think that's necessarily something autistic. Lots of people will act differently around a different person or group depending on who they are. And it also has to do with how comfortable you feel around them and how well you know them.



kobi_galon
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19 Jan 2012, 12:40 pm

I do have it sometimes too. What I realised is that it depends on the context and also on what I've been through. The more I'm "ok", "balanced", as my psychologist says, the easier it is for me to be able to talk (even if small talks) to people in a certain group in a certain moment.

It's good that you're a leader at the Beavers groups. This certainly helps you a lot with practsing, let's say, "social skills". Probably that's why you're feeling more comfortable to talk to people in other places too. Because then you've practised it, therefore it becomes more natural to you. This is great!

So, it's not that sometimes you're one person and sometimes another. It's just that it's easier to talk when you're ok (and when you've "practised"), and not that easy if you're not. When I'm not ok, for example, I don't even feel like talking to anyone. :)


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kobi_galon
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19 Jan 2012, 12:45 pm

Wheatthins wrote:
I don't even think that's necessarily something autistic. Lots of people will act differently around a different person or group depending on who they are. And it also has to do with how comfortable you feel around them and how well you know them.


Yes, not necessarily, but for aspies it's a bit more complicated. For example, there's a lot of people (especially my family) who I know well and with whom I theoretically feel more comfortable, but, still, I can't talk to them. If I'm feeling bad, even worse. I just can't keep a conversation with them, despite the fact that I know them and that I'm familiar with them.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 45 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

"A man is as free as he chooses to make himself, never an atom freer"