My parents don't get it?
They tell to be more "friendly" and weird.
And not give people their space and stuff.
And they don't make any sense?
My mother babies me.
I mean, come on, I already act like 12, you know.
Does anyone experience this?
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"I watched a change in you, It's like you never had wings, now you feel so alive"
Parents, regardless of whether they or their children are autistic or neurotypical, often fail to comprehend the situations and realities of their children. They are often prone to seeing the present as an extension of their past: in reality, the past and the present, at least in the industrialized world, exist on two separate planes.
Most of the time, they just want to see their children happy and will give them any advice that appears to aide them in such.
Mothers are prone to babying their children. It's just a neurotypical (and possibly autistic, as well) instinct.
On an unrelated note: I like your username.
MakaylaTheAspie
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OliveOilMom
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My mother was extremely overprotective and I vowed that I'd never be that way with my kids. The trouble that I already had as an aspie was compounded by the fact that I was never allowed to go anywhere or do anything, etc. Also, everything was censored. Well, some things, I had access to all the medical books I wanted. I was only around adults when I wasn't at school, and I missed a lot of school. Back in the 70's nobody had heard of AS, so my problems were just being "shy". I had allergies and chronic respiratory infections (well what did they expect cooped up in a house constantly with three chainsmokers and never even being able to go outside because of the pollen?) so I was always at home and inside the house when I wasn't in the hospital. I learned how to talk to adults and to be comfortable with adults. Around kids, it was a nightmare.
I've always tried to let mine do anything they wanted to within reason. I try not to bug them about things that don't matter (like maybe wanting to spend time in their rooms playing games, or the fact that even though I might need to go to sleep by ten, they may not need to until eleven or twelve (not when they were little, when they were older). I've also never got on them about their clothes or hair or makeup. They all went through some style phases that I hated, but I kept my mouth shut. I figured that the less I harped on them and hovered, the sooner they would quit being sullen, and they did.
I'm sorry that your having the trouble that you're having. Even though it may not seem like it at the time to you, parents usually do try to do what they think will make their kid happy. Even my overprotective, queen of censorship mother, but she has a mental problem, so that was part of it.
I don't know what advice to give you, really. I know that if one of my kids was unhappy with something I was doing, I'd want to know about it and know why, and what I could do to make it better, and if I couldn't do that, I'd try to compromise. Maybe if you write your parents a letter explaining what they are doing that's bothering you and give them details about how it makes you feel. Don't be accusing sounding, but let them know that it's bothering you and it's important to you, and that you would like to discuss something that you could both do to find a middle ground where you are both happy. If you give them calm rational reasons, and try and explain it in somewhat of a detail, I think that would go over better than a simple sentence of "You make me feel like __________.". Maybe write out examples such as "When you do ___________, I feel ___________. " Give them a cause and effect scenario to work with. Then list the things that you would like to see happen in your relationship. Give them time to look over the letter and give it some though. Maybe set a time to talk about it the next day. If you present a calm and mature and reasonable case, then theres a good chance that your parents may be more open to negotiation.
Oh, I did recently say no to an eyebrow ring. Those things freak me out to no end!
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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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