Sibling problems?

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Hey. I got in a fight with my brother yesterday, 9-17-2011, that my mom couldn't take it. So, she forced us to stay together, until we change back to normal. And to make matters worse, today 9-18-2011, I told my mother that I don't love my little brother. So, she took away my Video Games, and she said that she's gonna give it to me back, until I tolerate and love him like a real brother.

Is just that my little brother is 11 years old, he has speech problems (he can't talk correctly) he has ADHD, he also has anxiety, and I understand that. But he's repetitive, he talks loud, he just doesn't give up. What do I do ?!

And I bet, all of ya'll had problems with your brother(s) and/or sister(s). If I'm not mistaken, I'm not the only one here.

Just remember that your mother means well, and she probably wants you to understand your little brother.

Another thing, remember that love isn't an emotion, but a gift. 'Tis better to give than recieve.

Hi Confused Dude.

I think your Mom has met my Mom

I spent many a day on a hard chair staring at my sister until we were "friends" again (or at least until one of us made a funny enough "I hate you" face to make the other one laugh).

I have also done this to my 2 kids who happen to be almost 5 years apart and different genders (total nothing in common). I think my kids are smarter than my sister and I because I only remember having to do this once or twice, not many many times and they are mostly grown now (21 & 17)

FWIW - here's my perspective on this. Sorry it's not sugar coated, but you are 16 years old and almost an adult so I am speaking plainly to you in respecting that you are old enough to start understanding life and it's limitations.

You guys are 5 years apart, you have nothing in common. You're the older brother, so you have the unenviable part where you have to be the bigger person and deal with him until you both grow up enough to where the age difference doesn't matter. His part is to live in your shadow (forever), never quite feeling good enough and hoping you don't reject him when he looks up to you and just wants to be with you (and you think he is just an utter pain). [If you ever become a father, remember this - attention, even if negative attention, is still attention]

This is how it is with all siblings. You don't have to like him, you do have to love him (and will, later). He loves you, or he wouldn't bother with you. He's your family and when your folks are gone someday you will be all each other have. You will like each other more by then and will tell stories about how your mean Mom made you sit in hard chairs .......... I know it doesn't help you now, but most of this will be funny 20 years from now, really, I swear.

While you are waiting out everybody growing up, this compromise has worked for others to ease the pain:
Negotiate reasonable boundaries and time limits for interaction. You need some space by yourself, but you also need to be the big brother. Perhaps you could negotiate that you will do x amount of focused activity with your brother daily (or weekly) and in exchange you get x amount of protected time where he is not allowed in your space. If you act maturely and give him some real attention during the shared time, he will learn to let you be during your alone time. It may take a few calm reminders at first that if he wants the focused together time to continue, that he has to leave you alone during your time for yourself.

Hope this helps.