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Kairi96
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07 Dec 2012, 12:53 pm

Peers often say to me that I'm creepy. They say I stare at them and I do weird, psychopath-looking smiles. I've been even called a stalker. I don't want to be considered creepy, expecially from people I consider nice and I would like to be friend with. Actually, I don't really consider that my behaviour may scare people. Can anyone else relate?


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Aharon
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07 Dec 2012, 2:32 pm

Yes. I practiced smiling in a mirror, which I use briefly before averting my gaze when I'm noticed by the subject under my scrutiny. A continued, unchanging stare makes one appear predatory to some people; others may think you asked them a question and are awaiting a reply.

A good place to practice is at a buffet, at a table close to the salad bar. You can watch people make their salads, an if they happen to meet your eyes, you can practice the above routine and they'll probably smile back and go back to their salad making. Isn't that Kewl?


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Betzalel
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07 Dec 2012, 3:52 pm

a lot of people find me creepy as well. I don't know why they just seem to see something in me that they hate. I'm not really a bad person, although I could have been if the right things had happened when I was younger and full of more hate than i am now (thanks to all the abuse I received from whatever people see in me).

either way I do see myself as some alien creature surrounded by irrational humans that will never understand me.

I wish i didn't feel that way but it seems like I will never fit in anywhere.



Aharon
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07 Dec 2012, 4:25 pm

I totally get the alien creature thing. Telling avatars. If I actually WAS an alien creature, that would probably make my behavior much more acceptable to people, but I'm not; I'm just a person... I think.


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We are not so different from potted plants in that, if given everything we need to be properly nourished, the outcome can be incredibly contrary to when we are not. A flower won't grow in flour, and neither can we.


Aharon
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07 Dec 2012, 4:32 pm

This is wrong planet after all!


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We are not so different from potted plants in that, if given everything we need to be properly nourished, the outcome can be incredibly contrary to when we are not. A flower won't grow in flour, and neither can we.


1000Knives
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07 Dec 2012, 6:50 pm

Kairi96 wrote:
Peers often say to me that I'm creepy. They say I stare at them and I do weird, psychopath-looking smiles. I've been even called a stalker. I don't want to be considered creepy, expecially from people I consider nice and I would like to be friend with. Actually, I don't really consider that my behaviour may scare people. Can anyone else relate?


Somewhat.

What helped me the most was just wearing preppy clothes. People's reactions towards me instantly changed when I started wearing colorful preppy clothes instead of the plain black tshirts and camo pants I used to wear. Almost no more darker colors worn, either. I also made my hygiene better, too. Now I've started working out, too. People respond much better to people who, are, well, better looking. Pretty much gives you more leeway socially in every possible way without you having to actually change your mindset in any way.

As far as how you act, well, it's hard to pinpoint that, I still have problems with it somewhat. One thing I think helps is posture. Have a more erect posture, and people will react more positively to you and think you're less "freaky." Basically, having a more erect posture makes you appear more "confident." One thing that does SORTA help is talking to more people regardless. The problem is, people will still think you're weird. BUT, it does take away some "freakiness" if you talk to more people. It doesn't necessarily mean they'll like you or you'll be friends with them, however, it does help eliminate "freakiness" to some degree. You have the tradeoff of them thinking you're "annoying" instead of "freaky" though, so a balance is needed.

I can't give advice on how to change the behavior (ie, way you smile) people say I'm freaky because I smile too much and you'll never really win. It's hard for me to really mess with my body language and changing it. But, these two things helped me offset the bad body language to some degree.



soulburner
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16 Dec 2012, 2:13 pm

ok try not to smile too much and definitely dont stare because it makes people uncomfortable. i have trouble with staring and it has been a lifelong issues.