Should I identify as an aspie?

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When I was 4, I was diagnosed with aspergers and adhd, and showed all the normal symptoms except for language loss (eg. hypersensitivity, awkwardness, eye contact, stimming, difficulty navigating social situations, mixed IQ [gifted verbally/a few other things, not-so-good processing speed, hyperactive, impulsive).

However, now, 10 years later, my symptoms have gotten a lot better. I am not hypersensitive to things/get meltdowns anymore, I know how to spot my awkwardness and turn it into a joke, I hardly ever cry, I might be awkward and am certainly not popular but don't seem to come across as a "loser" or a "wierdo" anymore, and I make fine eye contact most of the time (although it's nice to be able to listen to someone while simultaniously looking at something). I still sometimes don't know what to do in complicated social situations (more so than most of my friends) and do hyperfocus. I daydream hours a day and have a very good imagination. I'm an ambivert. I stimm a little bit, but more in an ADD kind of way (tapping, etc). I still have a mixed IQ. Another thing that I never understood is, why do NTs get so angry over people disagreeing politically with them? Seriously. It makes no sense. Back to the point, even with these things considered, I come off as badly ADHD (I am very inattentive, impulsive, and procrastinate a lot) and most people would be pretty surprised to know I have any form of autism.

So my question is, with my aspergers being this mild, should I identify by it?

Your Asperger's still exists, it's just that you have gotten really good at hiding it. It still does affect the way you experience everything, so you can still identify by it. It is ultimately up to you though.

Hi,

I'll just start by saying that, when it comes to wondering if you are truly Asperger's, I get that a lot. I think until recently, I'd spent so long hiding it from everyone else that I'd almost forgotten about it myself. I hate feeling like I have to hide what I am and 'be normal', but I guess that's the way it is.

As to whether you should still identify with it, that's really up to you, but I'd say Asperger's never goes away, you just learn to deal with it. You've gotten very good at hiding it, but it hasn't gone away. Just my thoughts.

Best wishes,
Jack

What are the pros and cons for you to "identify as an aspie"? And do you mean identify TO YOURSELF, to yourself and people close to you, or to the world in general?

With regard to yourself, you have the traits you have, regardless of whether you have learned to cope with them or not. Do you wish to feel a sense of community with others who have those traits? Then embrace the label that lets you and them feel like you have common feelings and interests that enable you to empathize with each other and help each other out.

If you do NOT wish to feel a sense of community, then discard the label. You'll still have the traits, but you don't have to conceptualize your traits as a cluster that psychiatrists have named for purposes of investigation and treatment. (Even the shrinks got rid of the "Aspie" cluster in DSM-5)

With regard to people close to you, IMO "Aspie" should be one of the list of trait-clusters you want them to be aware of, to help explain why you perceive and think differently than they do. "Aspie" would go in the list of other trait-clusters like gender, ontological/religious beliefs, ethnicity/childhood culture, and on and on. It's easier to understand people, although less accurate, to consider traits in clusters rather than each trait separately.

With regard to the world at large, IMO it depends on the situation. If you want accommodations for your remaining social difficulties or for the huge amount of energy you need to spend coping with your underlying cognitive style in a world that values and caters to a different cognitive style, then you need to tell whoever provides the accommodations. If you need to check a DSM box to get the accommodations, then you check the box. If you only need to demonstrate one or more traits, then f*** the DSM box.

In the absence of accommodations you want, then IMO it is very harmful to you at your age and in this culture to tell the world you are Aspie. Even if it is on your early school records, most people do NOT understand that it cannot go away. You just tell them it did go away or that you were misdiagnosed. FREX, for people with delayed brain development, ADHD can actually go away as the brain matures.

Just as it is still a disadvantage in the workplace and social power structure generally to be identified as female, it is a disadvantage to be identified as Aspie. So IMO you should not do it except (i) to people close to you or (ii) when you want an accommodation, or (iii) if you want to advocate for changes in how the world perceives and treats Aspies .

For perspective on where I'm coming from, you might be interested in my post, http://the-art-of-autism.com/workplace-tips-for-aspies/

No matter how well you may have adapted, it's still a fundamental part of who you are, and from what I've learned in my own experiences, it IS possible for things to regress and get worse.

I think I want to identify as one! The reason why I was asking is because it's hard to relate to most other people on the spectrum. However, I definitely have aspergers, it does show up in my daily life (even though I manage disguise it as being awkward and "highly interested in unique things" (as opposed to "hyperfocused") and stubborn and cringy). As Tyrion Lannister put it, “Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you.”