Have you ever felt like you should stop trying to socialize?

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ASNerd
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12 May 2017, 6:51 pm

Hey,

I just joined. This week, this kid I'm trying to become friends with was totally distant this week. It's like we weren't friends. I've never had a real friend and I'm not sure if this friendship will last. I say to myself, "I gotta become a robot and not care about having friends and just focus on my interests so I don't get rejected." Has anyone ever tried to be by themselves and intentionally not have friends? How'd that go?



LjSpike
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13 May 2017, 8:05 am

I can sympathise with your situation greatly, but stop trying to make friends. It sounds slightly counterproductive, but why should you force yourself to hang out around someone who doesn't want to hang out with you, or who you don't want to hang out with.

Just go about, be kind of sociable, and you'll stumble across someone you get along with, perhaps they'll have the same interests as you, which would be a bonus. Give yourself the opportunities to meet people, and just let friendships happen.


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ASNerd
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16 May 2017, 7:56 pm

Yeah, thanks for the advice. Friendships are hard to stumble upon but I'll see what happens.



Antigone2J
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10 Nov 2018, 5:05 pm

Unfortunately it happens quite often to me..

Sometimes I don't realize that I said something which could insult or hurt other people, because I actually never have some bad intentions towards anyone. Than I feel very bad because I believe that I exploited their trust and kindness. Or on the other hand, sometimes I am too trusting to people, and don't realize that they were exploiting me.

What worked for me was not trying to make friends everywhere and under any circumstances, but trying to find one or two good friends and give them all the attention and empathy I am capable of (besides of your family of course). They don't have to be aspies necessarely, but if you are lucky they will appreciate the positive sides of your personality and understand your struggles.



Techna01
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06 Dec 2018, 12:08 pm

I do !I am a very logical and rational girl. Since I was a child whenever I got hurt I tried to be rational to calm myself. By the time I was a teen I stoped expecting anything from anyone, I always did everything on my own and started to believe that we live in our own world and only we only can help ourselves. I always have trouble understanding love and other abstract ideas now after experiencing numerous awkward social intersections and failed friendships I include friendship in my list of unreal and abstract idea's list. I like to being alone and don't mind having no friend if having friends means going through hurtful, unbearable and confusing events. I don't like those awkward memories left for the rest of life after short span frienships. :roll:



shortfatbalduglyman
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06 Dec 2018, 4:29 pm

ASNerd wrote:
Hey,

I just joined. This week, this kid I'm trying to become friends with was totally distant this week.

You are "trying to become friends"? Does the kid respond in a way that appears receptive or not? If a friendship is not a two way street, it is not a friendship. Please do not impose on someone. Because I have done that way too often.

It's like we weren't friends. I've never had a real friend and I'm not sure if this friendship will last.

Unless you are :ninja: precognitive :roll: , you do not know what is going to happen, before it happens

I say to myself, "I gotta become a robot and not care about having friends and just focus on my interests so I don't get rejected."

Since the homophobic civil engineer had the nerve to tell me off (San Diego 2006), my attachment style changed from "anxious" to "avoidant"


Has anyone ever tried to be by themselves and intentionally not have friends? How'd that go?



Yes, and I kind of get used to it. However it takes a toll.

There is something wrong with everything

You have to choose, the :idea: least wrong :P thing