A forced diagnosis?

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How do I stop a forced Asperger's/autism diagnosis? I need help, I know I need help, and I would be cooperative to recieving it - As long as my parents aren't involved. I'm in my 30s. I don't do a great job of taking care of myself because I don't see the point of it. They control every aspect of my life. They even go into doctor's office appointments with me. They say they need to be involved. They enter my bedroom with a knock to announce they are entering, not waiting for me to admit them. Then they discovered Asperger's Syndrome and insisted I have it, took me to a doctor, and now want to take me to another doctor who would be more proactive. I am also being forced to move away from my friends and the place I've lived all my life, where I know no one, and have no friends, no support.

I am an adult. I don't want my parents involved in my doctor visits or medical treatment. They say they need to be involved so they can "know how to deal with me." They've already told half the family I have it, even without a formal diagnosis. They would probably go on to tell everyone that would 'need to know' (ie, school, martial arts instructors) when it would actually be better not to have yet another thing stacked against me. I'm already disabled and I'm feeling very depressed that there's not only a physical componant but now I'm looking at a neurological brain based diagnosis - and one against my will. My decisions have no weight with my family. They were also verbally, psychologically, and physically abusive toward me, even in adulthood but always rationalized it out. It hasn't happened in a long time.

How do I get them to stop telling everyone? Asking them not to gets puzzled looks.
How do I stop them from coming in to my doctor appointments? They are domineering. overbearing people who are heeded because they're "advocates" for a "disabled adult child." There's an invisible group if I ever saw one; Disabled adults under the thumbs of domineering and even abusive parents. The parent will be heard every time, due their "noble efforts."

I want to be my own advocate. I never asked for this. They intrude in every aspect of my life, such as it is.

If I get a diagnosis of Asperger's or autism, it becomes a third or even fourth medical problem and because of that long list, I would be discriminated against or medicalized even further.

Forgive me, I'm depressed, and I don't know what the hell to do. Maybe this is why I'm so nostalgic. My only comfort, remembering people and times where a medical diagnosis wasn't hovering over my head and defined me, and people who didn't treat me like a disabled person and who loved me, and everything was normal.

I'm not saying I don't need help. I'm saying I'd be comfortable and in accordance with my wishes if they were not involved. I also don't want to leave my lifelong friends, or find myself in a losing court battle over my competantcy if I tried fighting for myself. I just want to be seen as an eccentric person, like so many others in history who are now said to have autism, and worry about the details on my own. I'm secondary to all these medical diagnoses and the will of my parents.

(Edit: add executive dysfunction to the list of things I might have wrong. I have no initiative or ability to organize, or keep at something!)

You can write very well. I don't know what resources you have, but you should draw up a plan to care for yourself and hopefully you can get some kind of assistance with this. I also don't know what disabilities you have, but if you can get a job you must get a job.

You must sock away some money. If you are being taken to a strange place, FIND a way to live with it until you can get out on your own. You might want to move back to your home town. You might not. You have to find ways to build your physical and mental abilities.

everything begins here. and as i see it, you have very good point of taking care of yourself. you want to be indendent. isn't that a good point? once you find a way to take care of yourself, once you get a job to do so, you can start 'socking away some money' and get ready for the biggest step in your life, find a creepy apartment and move away from your parents. is it worth it?

if they are abusing you call adult protective services. THey specialize in getting disabled people out of abusive situations.

Did they really call you a 'disabled adult child?'! ! If anyone ever called me an adult child I would tear my hair out.

The good thing is that no one can force a diagnosis on you. If ultimately they coerce you into seeing an autism specialist or psychiatrist for this reason, I would suggest acting as bland, normal and functional as possible, thereby making your parents look utterly ridiculous to the medical establishment.