Venting, for the most part

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A month ago, I had never heard of AS, now I find out my son has it, and upon further research into the matter, I seem to as well. I'm really having some problems coming to terms with myself, today it really got bad, I was sitting in my chair, thinking about everything, and I looked at my son, and just started sobbing, I couldn't stop, I had to exile myself to my room, and just cried. I really don't know why, I mean there's the thoughts of my son having to go through the same things I did, and although I had no way of knowing, in a way, I feel guilty gor bringing him into the world. I would do anything for the kid, anything, but it's tough to know that no matter what I do, he'll most likely never fit in, and kids already pick on him. I know this self pity thing is not productive in the slightest, and for the most part I'm just venting, but also this is the only I can say the words that I can't seem to say verbally. I feel bad for my wife, having to live with me in this state, she tries, but I keep pushing her away, she desperately wants to understand, and I have tried to explain, but the words just don't come. It's taken me several attempts to make this post, I get halfway through, then panic for some reason, and delete it.

I'm really bad at this, and I appologise for rambling, but I don't know, I just don't.

Let me preface this by saying if you'd been on the board long enough you'd know that I'm generally the type of person to insist AS CAN BE disabling (in some respects), just so you can know this isn't a particularly biased opinion.

Yes, life can be tough for a kid with AS. It can also be good. I found that I (due not only to AS but other stuff, and the fact that I moved school 12 times k-12 and have moved 32 times at 20) had tourble relating to my peers all my life- till college. Now, while I don't have dozens of friends, I have over a dozen, and this is something wonderful to me. His life isn't even gaaranteed to START rocky, but even if it does it isn't guaranteed to stay that way. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Can you research ways to help him socialize? I've heard of group therapy that teaches social skills, for example. That could help him make friends both in and out of the said group. Have you looked into oiptions for compensating for poor social skills? I don't know what resources you have but there may be some available, and if he has resources you didn't as a kid, he might not have to live through what you did.