Sometimes I just think I should give up

Post Reply New Topic

No, I'm not talking about suicide...yet. I just keep throwing myself in situations that I can't cope in.

Last night I was supposed to see my brothers band play a show in Sydney. I traveled up by train easy enough, but finding the venue is when it all went wrong.
The venue was supposed to be minutes from the train station and I was on the very street that joins up with the street the venue is on, and the venue is an old building that you can't mistake. I've been there twice before. The first time it took me 3 hrs to find. The second time I was dropped off there and I spent the night with my ex boyfriend. I'm not very proud about that.
The third time was failure, so I gave up and went back to the train station. I went to buy a train ticket to where my sister lives, but no trains were going there, so I left the train station only my ticket was invalid, and I was shutting down too much to talk to security about it. I had a panic attack because I was trapped in the subway and I felt like I was going to throw up. Luckily I didn't.
Oh yeah the guy I was supposed to meet at the venue said 'see you next time' instead of giving me directions. Men are just....well I don't want to say. I'm just sick of Sydney boys.
OK, so I had a panic attack in the subway but then I managed to speak to security. My ticket was invalid because I swiped it before, but I didn't tell them that so they let me through. When I finally got out I caught a taxi to my sisters place but her door was locked. So I went to the bus station and sat there for awhile. I actually felt safe for the first time that night, alone in the darkness, watching the cars zoom by on the highway. I eventually went back to my sisters place that still had a locked door, so I banged my fist against it until someone answered.
While lying on her couch I cried myself to sleep while everyone else in the house slept.

So yeah, not sure how much longer I can take this. It's not the first time I've traveled to the city, only to wander it aimlessly whilst having some type of emotional break down.

I can totally identify with getting lost - happens to me all the time. Usually, when I go to an unfamiliar place I print out maps & leave early - and still end up getting lost. (Last year, I had a meeting scheduled in a strange part of town. Made a map & left half an hour early - then ended up taking a wrong turn off the highway & had to backtrack - ended up getting there over an hour late.) Depending on conditions (time of day, different traffic patterns), I often get lost going places I've been to more than once. I think it's stress & not the inability to follow directions that makes me get lost.

It's definitely frustrating & these "episodes of lost" stay with me for days (I go over them in my head & obsess about why they happen) - but the ray of hope that I can offer you is that it isn't my entire life - and I actually find lots of places & arrive on time.

You aren't alone in this. Here's hoping you find your way next time.

You should know that getting lost in places is part of our everyday lives. Last friday it happened to me in Barcelona. I was supposed to meet someone and even though i saw the office in front of me, it took me half an hour to get there. I even get lost in new workplaces, i hate cubicles for that reason.

So the message is that you are not alone, don't worry about it. Try to print maps, as you surely learn things visually, it will be easier for you to find the place. Good luck next time and don't forget that we ALL face these situations.

My heart goes out to you pensieve

It's alright, people get lost all the time. It's nothing to worry about. If it helps you at all, try thinking of it this way: people ask for directions all the time, and it's the job of the people at the train station to help people get from point A to point B, otherwise they wouldn't be working in the transportation business, right? So just ask them for directions to the place you're going and they should be willing to help you out. As long as you're well-intentioned, there's no such thing as a dumb question.

I did look up the directions but I wasn't sure if the printer was working. I heard my mum using it this morning so I guess it was.
I don't know why I didn't ask for directions.
Thanks for the words of support.

I get lost sometimes because I don't pay attention. I've been driven to the same places over and over again by my dad and my boyfriend, in the latter case for a year. And since I never paid attention to where they turned on what street and that (actually I never paid attention at all), if I learned how to drive and they told me to drive myself I would have no clue how to get to those places, or even which way to go on our own street in order to get to those places.

I have done the same thing---lose my direction and gee...

I thank God for my wife who guides me places when we travel around---especially in areas that aren't so familiar. And my wife usually has to give me directions to get out of someplace I am not familiar with. God has blessed her with a good sense of direction.

So...don't feel bad. You are not alone.