scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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^Hope you get better.

2 I don't want to go to work >_<

I'm feeling weird. I'm not depressed, but I am sad. I assume it's the "normal" sadness people feel, not the depressed type. Weird...

anyway, I'm sad because my parents can't afford to pay for the internet any more. I'm a 3d modeller, and I get literally all my reference material from the internet. I don't want to give up 3d modelling, I love it and it's one of my last artistic outputs. Without the internet I can't chat to people so I'll be completely alone, apart from weekends.

But worst of all, I don't know if I can continue learning medicine without the internet. I have a few medical dictionaries, and a few books on psychology, but I wan't to study diseases in depth, not from a one line description in a dictionary.

Does anyone know any good, free E-books on medicine I could download? I don't care about the subject, but neurology is a preferred subject. Thanks

-5. Got into a heated argument last night on facebook with my boss over politics, an argument that lasted until about two hours ago, and on top of that people are just being stupid at work again today. I ended up having a small meltdown and ended up sitting outside for a good half hour blasting loud music on my iphone to calm down.

4. Not too bad. But got up this morning to see that the digger is gone, but now there is a cement-mixing truck in its place. Is there no end to the audial assault from that house? The property seems to be a strange attractor that incredibly noisy people are sucked into.

Years, and years of various neighbours there, and every last one of them have been noisy in some way. The last owners had a toddler who made The Exorcist-like sounds and they used to put it outside and I could hear its blood-curdling shrieks metres away from my window. I was relieved to get new neighbours but I realise now that it doesnt really matter who lives there, they all turn out to be pretty much the same.

Anyway, going in for the diagnosis today. Should be interesting.

-2 My society is slowly falling to hell thanks to the deeds of idiot leaders, #$%ed up government officials, and racists. wait... We're already there... never mind.

Hmm....I was just thinking about how damn boring my responses are here in this thread. I really need something different to talk about other than "I'm a 5 again". I got it! Today I'm am oficially a +6.152. How's that for spontaneous and exciting?


Oh yeah, I ate an excellent salad today too.


Can you tell I'm tired and bored?

+5 doing good

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When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

4. Doing pretty good. About to go to bed.

0. zero zero zero zero zero zero

SICK OF IT ALL.
Fed up of having AS, there are no benefits, Im not a savant, just an effing failure.
Hate this constant Pinnochio feeleing, that if I am nice and work hard I'll be a REAL person
Sick of being single, yet can't think that there is anyone I'd actually want to be with, the closer people get the more grotesque and offensive I find them
Irrtitated by own hypocrisy, snap judgements, dislike of nerdiness/obsessiveness/lack of empathy/general humilitang loserness when I so obviously am these things myself
And no wonder I get nowhere, I'm lazy self absorbed, stupid and derailed by trivia


stupid stupid AS, been sold down the river by my neurology, with two choices, whiney hypochondriac life or bring about early death. Would be easier if I could really believe in god and wasn't a parent.

I just realised that what I had thought was slight stress was actually a lot of stress, and that I hadn't recognised it as such because I've become accustomed to a constant baseline of stress/anxiety.
It reminds me of the time when I realised that I was defining "a good day" as "a day in which I was not in considerable pain whenever I left the house".
Sometimes I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.
(I think I'll go with "laugh". It is quite funny.)

+6 I'm in the middle of a major cleaning/re-arranging operation in my house. It's hot as hell and should be a miserable job, but I'm actually enjoying it. I guess that seeing the project progress outweighs the work aspect of it all. Cool, I can live with that.


This is a pitstop, by the way.

1000,000!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
I had a marvelous day, I went to see "Walking with dinosaurs live" at the Birmingham NIA. It was so amazing, the dinosaurs looked so real, I want to go again about a thousand times.

0. The feeling's always neutral. I like that way.

I keep getting Cold Sores though, which means I need to stop putting a lot of stress on my mind

4. Glad some people have been having a great day.

Re; someone talking about baseline stress levels, well the psychologist I saw on Thursday said my baseline was very high.. and it is true, after a while it becomes normal to be very stressed all the time, and it doesnt seem like a lot of stress, until collapse suddenly comes....

Anyway. I had a nice day yesterday, and today will be trying to catch up on the sound therapy I havent managed to do. Also I will still be pondering whether to get a diagnosis or not.

0.5

Apols for previous hysteria, seem to be having some kind of breakdown.
My (s)mother has pointed out at least 5 times today it is not possible to be perfect...missing the point entirely that I should not be a screw up on quite so many fronts simultaneously. Thank god she's gone home now

Alternative's signature cheered me up a bit, nice to see Minor Threat quoted.