Trying not to get my Anxiety, Worries and Fears get me down

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ericc
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27 Oct 2009, 12:49 pm

My thoat is sore from Screaming at my parents dogs for randomly barking, I gave them treats to say that I'm sorry. But this topic isn't about them. It's more about the meltdown that I just had. I might have mentioned that my puppet show used to be on public access television until March of this year due to this certain looney who thought that I was suicidal when I made a joke about Asperger's Depression. Then the station called the police and the police wanted to make sure I was okay plus this looney complaint about the irreverent language on my show. But that was back in March. This middle aged person has a personality disorder and believes in a religion that is more of a fantasy cult to me. Because of his personality disorder, he has a long history and criminal record from stalking to beating people up that he didn't like or his wives when he used to be married. This person is basicly a big joke at the public access station, everyone laughs at him. "Hey, I wonder where _________ is lately"? "Jail I hope" HA HA HA, stuff like that. There's so many bad stories about this person but anyways he has a public access TV talk show where he acts like he's better than everyone else and he calls up and complains about other public access TV shows if something offended him even though his show uses offensive content himself. He could complain if someone said Bastard and here he goes on his show talking about how great BDSM is. :? Anyways, late last year he was arrested for stalking twice plus his ex-wife released a 20 page letter of how he abused her in detail (no longer on the internet). As soon as this information was all over the newspapers and on the web, about every prime time public access TV show mocked him. Someone even requested me to do one which I did, though I wore a black hat covering my eyes with very little light doing a comedy sketch on how he misses stalking people and how he's pretending to be a nice person and denile over the crimes that he has committed. This sketch was on my last episode that aired on the public access television plus it's the same episode that I made the Asperger's depression joke which scared him thinking that I was suicidal. It was a sarcastic joke talking about me having Asperger's "Eric tryed to commit suicide but he chickened out." and it was a cartoon character saying this. Anyways, he often got angry with every single person who has mocked him and he threatened most if not all of them to sue them or have his lawyer talk to them, then he would go on his MySpace page and write Libelous stuff on everyone who has mocked him and say some threatning things like "I'm going to kick you ass soon!". I'm still in contact with most of the fans of my public access show and they tell me about this looney each time I'm in contact with them. But here's the weird thing, he has never went after me, EVER! He's never mentioned me on his MySpace Ever. So I'm usually afraid that he's going to cyberbully me when I least expect it or see me volunteering at the public access station and yell at me for something that I did back in March (which is almost 1 year ago). I come to volunteer on Friday afternoons and I remember when I meet him during my internship there, he taped his show on Mondays. I still remember when I meet him, he just randomly was shouting about how he could have been the boyfriend of the person that he stalked (which I didn't know much about at the time). The only time I've seen him at the station on a Friday was back in June. He did see me in the studio but he didn't bother saying anything to me or give me any dirty looks. Each time I volunteer, I always fear that one of these days, he's going to say something horrible to me or hurt me. But I try to think logicly and say that it's unlikely because when I volunteer, I volunteer on the last show of the week before they close the building for the weekend. I've recently heard that he's gotten back surgery and is on cruches, I guess he has two rods in his back or something like that. But he still does his hour show plus tape his girlfriends show too. He used to be at the station 2 or 3 times a week because he used to live 10 minutes from it. Now he moved somewhere else and he now lives about 30 minutes away from the station. So hopefully he's only there once a week and when I'm not there. I've talked to my friends from the public access station and they told me that he's not after me, don't fear him he's a coward, and don't let that loony get to you.

I'm not sure if I mentioned before but I'm terrorized yet threaten if someone yells at me. So I'm trying not to let people get to me. I only volunteer at the station 2 times a month, but I'm afraid each and every time. Any Advice?



southwestforests
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27 Oct 2009, 5:22 pm

Oh dear :? what a mess :(

I don't know what to do directly, but there is an indirect way to influence the matter.
:arrow: what I'd like to ask people to do, is for the spiritual among us, of any and all beliefs, to pray, send energy, or whatever it is you do, to that man that his mind would be opened and his heart softened to let in to his being how he appears to others.

And that he would confess his abuse, change his ways, and ask forgiveness.

And that forgiveness would be given.
That does not mean there are no consequences of what he has done.
It just means that vindictiveness and revenge are no longer held in the hearts of his victims.
Which frees them up to live their lives.

And that the hearts of those mocking him would also be opened.

And that you would be safe and accepted.

That would be the ultimate good for all concerned.

This that I am suggesting, am asking, could seem a fantasy to people.
I am okay with that.
I do ask that those who see this as fantasy would politely allow us to "do our thing".
Ya never know if what it might . . . . :wink:

It is a tall order to those who are spiritual.
With enough people, enough focus, enough energy, though, such things may happen.

And that would be an amazing thing to have happen to show on your public access.

Okay, so all those here of any and all spiritual beliefs, here's a job I'm asking for you to do to bring good and light into many people's lives.

Do realize that there WILL be resistance to good results, but ultimate good is strong enough to win in the end.


_________________
"Every time you don't follow your inner guidance,
you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness."
- Shakti Gawain


ericc
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27 Oct 2009, 5:53 pm

I've chatted with my mom on the phone and she told me that he didn't come after me back in March so why would he now. He's missed his change to chances are he's not going to do it. Plus he lives 30 minutes away from the public access station, he's not there when I'm there and he's currently on crushes and has rods in his back from his surgery. So I guess I should just relax.



southwestforests
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27 Oct 2009, 5:59 pm

ericc wrote:
So I guess I should just relax.

Sounds reasonable.
Relax, yet be observant.


_________________
"Every time you don't follow your inner guidance,
you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness."
- Shakti Gawain


ericc
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28 Oct 2009, 4:22 pm

Good News and Bad News.

The Good News is I'm taking a break from volunteering.
The Bad News is that there's an job posting for the public access station and I have to put a resume for the job because it's the only job in my area that I'm somewhat good at. :(
Plus that Looney is still there and well what if he tries to attack me for making fun of him on my old public access TV show in March (about 8 months ago). Did I mention that he has a server personality disorder and is a stalker?