I've managed to completely alienate everybody

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It seems as though I can't even talk (although some people would probably use the term "whine") about the pain I'm going through anymore. All I want to know is that there's somebody out there that appreciates my talents, therefore giving me purpose in life and validating my existence. But one by one, each of my friends is getting pissed off by my just wanting to feel loved. Even my ex-gf, who I was still good friends with after we broke up, retroactively declared that there was never a relationship, which sent me into a real tailspin (compared to that, the breakup itself was relatively uneventful and I saw it coming). I must have alienated more than half of the love and dating forum here as well.

I don't think that is the case, especially here - if people didn't care, they wouldn't still be offering suggestions and feedback. It just may not be what you want to hear.


M.

You project the fact that you are fixated on that pain, and not much else. For my part, I've been on WP for 9 months and I really have no idea what your "talents" are. I read the board thoroughly and I know nothing about you except that you're a jaded dude who really wants to find a woman. And I'm not saying that to be nasty, you just simply do not talk about anything else. Most people do not wear their pain on their sleeve day in and day out the same way you do, and thus it's difficult to relate sometimes.

I'd suggest you focus more on your talents in general, and maybe talk about them as well because it's possible if people on here have a little more perspective on that they might be better equipped to give you constructive advice.

Well, for starters, I have a good singing voice that I've worked on my entire life (well, since kindergarten anyway). And I'm in the process of completing a bachelor's degree in Information Technology, so I have to be half-decent at that, right?


No, you're right, I really don't. I prefer to let whatever I can do speak for itself, rather than go on bragging about it like I'm an olympic champion or something...

I have to wear it on my sleeve like that. Otherwise it just gets internalized and simmers over time until a full aspie meltdown is triggered... and I don't want that for the safety of everybody around me, since my meltdowns can be rather spectacularly violent.

Well, I've mentioned the two things I have any skill in whatsover. Problem is that with nobody to appreciate me, how do I know that I'm not disposable? The big reason for why I'm so connected with my church is because the choir director keeps encouraging me to sing, and being the only person that offers any appreciation of my skills whatsoever, I'm happy to oblige to stay in the choir...

See, that's awesome, now I understand much better. Wear it on your sleeve as necessary (as meltdowns would not be good), but that doesn't mean you can't engage in other things on here too.

You say you have a good voice, do you ever write music? That is extremely fulfilling and a great outlet for any pain you may be experiencing. s**t, if you don't already, learn to play the guitar or piano or something and serenade some ladies with that. I've played guitar for over half my life but although I can somewhat sing in key, unlike you I have not been blessed with a good voice. That is a great thing to have no matter what you do with it, but from the sound of things I believe you could do more.

I am having a similar issue as well. I have been kicked out of chat rooms and forums and I have to live with that fact everyday. I don't understand how it led to this point in the first place. I am on the verge of killing myself because it's this bad.

I'm sorry that you are all going through a rough time, and I hope that things improve for you all.

I am tired of hearing your sorries and I sympathize with you because that doesn't help me any one bit. Everytime I say something about myself that seems to be the response. I hate that because it makes me feel weak and like I need to rely on someone else.

Then what the frak do you want to hear, Haoh? Practical advice is offered all over the board, but apparently, since you're still complaining, you've rejected that. That leaves us with sympathizing - and you don't want that. If you're looking for someone to hold your hand and say, "Oh, you poor baby," you're in the wrong church, buster.

You know, that is one thing that really pisses me off - when you try to help someone and they don't want help, then they try to blame you for that! If you don't want sympathy, ask for advice. If you don't want either one, go whine in a blog like everybody else. But don't try to pin your issues on me, just because you don't want to deal with them!

At least ToadOfSteel is still listening when people talk to him here...

I have been trying to cope with them the best I can. I am not in the shape to go back to my doctor or see a therapist right now. I am in school and that's first priority and nothing more. Don't jump on me because of the fact that I just don't like certain things out of certain people. Everywhere I go, somebody always has to say something.

That's the purpose of chat rooms and forums
And you can't select which people are willing to respond to your posts.

But maybe you can avoid the ones you don't like by not reading their answers?

I have used forums for a long time. Don't tell me how I should or should not do things. I am 20 years old and have at least 10-15 years experience with computers.

Kid, I'm 46, and have going on 30 years experience with computers (starting with an Apple II in 1981). I ran a bulletin board on a C-64 back in '86 - I've literally been doing this since before you were born. If that's what you regard as "valuable experience", then pipe down and listen up. This is a discussion forum. People come in here to discuss things. If you don't want to discuss, just rant, then go whine in a blog like everyone else.

And don't go copping attitude like your age gives you some kind of bragging rights, especially when you're not even old enough to drink in the US - or I'll refer you to one of our other users, who went to frakking Woodstock back in the day.

Haoh, DB: Your conversation is inappropriate for the Haven, and is hijacking another member's thread. If you two need to talk things out, take it to PM or elsewhere. Not here.


M.

What are your talents? I'd love to hear more about them. It's often the people who are the most "alienating" that are the most talented after all.

I am worried that I have alienated everybody as well.