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pippilngstkngpr
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01 Mar 2010, 11:30 pm

I really had no idea where to post there so I decided here.

I am going to my Nani's house. I haven't slept over her house since 7th grade and younger. I haven't seen that side of the family in years. I am mainly going to see my Nani because she means the most and loves me. My father and everyone else never loved me, never cared and very rude. My aunt and uncles were fine. But not just that, if I go over there and she invites everyone over I have no idea what to do. I mean all of them in a small house, and I wouldn't really be comfortable to walk outside. I might just have to do that, or get distracted by my cell phone. I am so nervous yet so anxious.

Does anyone know what I can do if needed be to get out and breathe?



Descartes30
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01 Mar 2010, 11:40 pm

I either warn them before hand that I will need to leave if they invite other people come over, or I have headphones and a book handy so I can go to my other place. If it's not cold outside I would do that outside. If it's too cramped inside and too cold outside, I'd just drive somewhere calming like Barnes and Noble. Trying to deal with situations like that has always been a disaster when I was younger, so I eventually learned to accept my limitations and other people had to deal with it or not, their problem.


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jawbrodt
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01 Mar 2010, 11:43 pm

Hmmm.....the cell phone idea could be used as a little 'escape', if needed. Do they have any pets? They always make good anxiety reducers too. My dad's house get's a little overwhelming at times, so sometimes I'll go screw around with the cats for a little bit, if I need a little time to myself. There's all kinds of little 'escapes' you will find if you need 'em, even if it get's to the point where you have to head to the restroom for a few minutes.lol :)


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Villette
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02 Mar 2010, 3:13 am

yeah the pet idea is a good one. It's also good for social bonding as pet stories are neutral. Do your homework and read. Even if they think you're weird you'll have the excuse of being hardworking. Or if you draw well, do that. It's a good method to have conversation. Another point I wish to make is that although I feel awkward with most people I feel comfortable with my distant relatives even though I ignore them. It's happy boredom and can be relaxing. If you don't want to talk they will just accept that you want to concentrate on your work. Or go for a walk and offer to walk the dog. It makes you sound useful and a feeling person.



lelia
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02 Mar 2010, 3:49 am

You might ask your Nani for suggestions. Maybe she can give you a list of questions to ask each relative to start a conversation; like: Ask aunt ruth what she is going to plant in her garden this year.



pippilngstkngpr
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02 Mar 2010, 4:26 pm

Thanks. No Cats. But I am going to bring paper and pencil to draw. Also text and go on the internet to distract myself if needed Ill say I want to go for a walk.

Thanks everyone! :) I am leaving now.



CockneyRebel
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03 Mar 2010, 1:14 am

I agree that giving them a warning would be the best way to go.


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pippilngstkngpr
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05 Mar 2010, 6:53 pm

I gave them a warning. I didn't really like the fact that this random guy came over and no one let me know except when I walked into the room, and then just walked out. Than my cousin randomly popped up. But I did something that surprised me. I went out for bowling with her and her bf. I had fun but I was shaking like crazy, and barely talked but had fun. It's very hard to concentrate and hear in a bowling alley as big as the one I was in. Otherwise I had a good time. Thanks for the help everyone



MsTriste
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05 Mar 2010, 9:50 pm

I go into the kitchen and try to help by offering to do dishes or even cook. Or make myself useful or at least look busy, so others won't try to talk to me. Or act as bartender/make a pot of coffee or tea, stuff like that. Easy to do, keeps your mind focused on a simple activity rather than the people. And they usually appreciate the help so you get bonus social points.