No girl would ever go out with me

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I give up.

I expect people to tell me the truth and stop blowing smoke up my ass. That I will never have any friends. That I will be respected by anyone. That I will never have a real relationship with a person of any sex, and that no decent looking girl would ever want to go out with me.

Just tell me that I'm a lowlife and I would be better off dead

You're a lowlife, that's for sure. No living being is better off dead, however. Not even the lowest of the low.

Why do you want people to tell you that exactly? You clearly hate yourself enough so why do you want other people to hate you as well? and I don't know if you read my other post but If things are so hard why not try and get some professional help?

And what is truth; how you see yourself, or how others perceive you? We've never met you in person, so who are we to judge you? All we have to go on is what you type here on this forum, and that's not enough to be able to say anything definitive.

you'd be better off with a shower and some antidepressants. No one is blowing smoke up your ass. Well, no one but you.

being that dirty is not just dirty but it's got to be bad for your health.

You will have what you want. Whatever it is you work for.

in bold

You're doomed then. Because you choose to be doomed.

Why do you post here if you're just going to waste other people's time and effort?

Trust me you don't want too. I'm uninteresting and boring and pretty slow. I would struggle to have conservations so their would be a lot of awkward pauses. And since my house is so filthy, you would not want to be around me for long unless I had some video games you'd like playing.

help won't do anything for me. They won't listen to my problems because they can't relate and will call it nonsense. They will just put me on a bunch of medicine I don't need for problems they "think" I have.

Well have you ever tried it?...I mean its up to you, your life after all......but if you are so unhappy with everything at this point wouldn't you have a desire to try and change things or get help changing things if you cant on your own? Is there anything at all you enjoy and look forward to? if so that is a start also maybe you are setting to high of goals for yourself there is nothing wrong with living a simple life if you don't want to further your education for some professional career. I honstly don't have a lot of helpful advice because I have been rather suicidal and feeling out of my mind lately.

having worked in the field for several years.... no one would tell you anything you are going through is nonsense, they too , might call your behavior nonsense if you refuse to try anything. I think you need a therapist or psychiatrist so that there's someone to hold you accountable for making an effort.

medication in your case is warranted. You need a little help with the depression and anxiety as you are in such poor condition you are not capable of making any effort. I really wish you'd try to see someone. See a therapist (if you're getting "crazy checks") you qualify for state funded services. and therapists do not prescribe meds. there is nothing to lose. You have plenty of time and it'll give you a reason to bathe and leave the house.

in bold

I've also been shunned, laughed at, and have always been vulnerable to manipulation. I've been beaten by my father as a kid for my eccentricities. But I've consciously worked on my social skills and things have worked out better for me since then. If I had just avoided people and not done anything about my lack of social skills, nothing would've gotten better for me.

You can't have your cake and eat it too, so you're gonna have to grow up and make some sacrifices. You should buy some rat poison and gather enough money to go to school. Take care of your needs before your wants and do what you gotta do. Once again, this is my personal opinion but you should take up a hobby different from gaming. I just think games aren't as open ended as other hobbies. I used to game like mad back then, but now after a few hours it just gets too repetitive.

Just because you're weak minded now doesn't mean you can't become strong minded. I used to have a victim mentality, blame everyone for everything, had a sense of entitlement, and was generally an insecure and angry person. Did I wait for things to magically change? Hell no I worked hard on changing myself once I saw these characteristics as flaws. This change didn't happen overnight though, it was a matter of years and I used months as a measure of progress. I still suffer from moments where I get depressed, but that's cuz I'm still recovering from years of shittiness. I get better and better, and progress is noticeable every few months.

There are tons of great advice here for the person who is having a very difficult time in which everything seems hopeless and meaningless. I remember being there countless of times. I relied on family, friends, therapists--everyone--that I could find to lift myself from the hole I created. I received help, a lot of help, having gone through much therapy and counseling; I found that relying on other people for help and advice without the inner will to change meaningless. I began to feed on the people helping me--not intentionally--and discouraged them by saying things like "I am hopeless, desperate, and cannot change." I found using these words over and over again really devastating. It's like trying to create another hole for oneself without realizing it.

I think the first step for MR20 to get better is to stop using the words he's using. If he continues to use them, he'll feel more guilty overtime and feel more ashamed. In return, the community will feel more frustrated and annoyed. I agree that MR20 needs to grow up but I advise people who actually know MR20 to let him be until he truly understands the problem and wants valid help. Valid help consists of practical help like, "Can you help go with me to the Registrar of Motor Vehicles to help get my driver's license" or "Can you go shopping with me to get shampoo?" not like, "Can you help me get my driver's license?" or "Can you help me bathe?" Valid help is active not passive. Once he wants valid help and is able to do it, he has taken the proper steps to lift himself from that dangerous hole and hopeless cycle of negativity.

Wow that really does suck, I mean from the sound of it, its not completly your fault things are the way they are. Maybe you're blaming yourself too much....but I can't be sure as I don't know you. I mean it seems you could use some sort of professional help but that money is an issue and your worried about it going badly. I would suggest maybe cutting down on the amount of games and anime you buy.....and spending more on things you need, if thats a possibility. But either things will stay how they are or you may find a way to make things a bit better for yourself on your own...but I would recommend trying to overcome your worries about professional help....it could help. But yeah there is not much anyone can do over the internet other then try and give advice.