Rants

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I don't understand why everyone around me has to play their crappy, extra basey music so BLOODY loud!!

It's like, why can't they just play it loud enough for them, and them ALONE to hear?? I don't want to listen to their rubbish and even if I did I wouldn't have it that loud!!

Every time there's a loud "beat" which is every other second... It feel's like someone is whacking my brain with a stick!
The only relief I get is between songs

My neighbors have been at it like this for the past week!! The first night, they had it loud all the way until about 2AM!!
I've been stressed lately as it is, this is the first week I've had to relax while I'm waiting for stuff in the mail and I just want to chill, but I can't!!

There's no use asking them to turn it down either - Last time my partner went around because they were keeping my nephew awake and the guy answered the door and my partner said he was off his face high and didn't even give a verbal response! Then it took like an extra 10/15 mins after that for them to turn it off.

I'd threaten them with police action but because it's the day and I have no evidence of it happening at night they can't do anything and that'll just cause arguments and hasstle, and my Nan has to live here after my partner and I leave and she'll be left with all the crap...

It just does my head in... Literally!!

I really never learn. f**k it all.

I'm crap and I hate myself.

While I was out, my mom slammed the kitchen door closed on my cat's tail tonight, "degloving" the end 1/2 inch of it. I realize she didn't mean to do it, but what makes me angry is:

1) She didn't bother to tell me that my cat had dashed outside until almost 2 hours later
2) That she didn't noticed the tip of my cat's tail lying on the kitchen floor
3) That while I confronted her about it after finding my cat's tail tip on the floor, she acted like there was no way she could've been the one who did it

She wanted to insist that the door slammed hard enough by itself to do that to my cat's tail or something, which, given how that door closes, couldn't have happened. Someone would have had slammed that door shut hard. She claims she saw my cat sprinting through the doorway--of course, too fast for her to stop him--and that she closed the door after he was out. BS. I suspect she saw he sprinting away AFTER she slammed the door close, because he was in pain.

It took 30 minutes to coax him back inside once I found him. The tip of his tail is just exposed bone and blood vessels now and I can tell it's hurting him some. Unfortunately it's too late for me to get him to the vet so it'll have to wait til morning. Thankfully cats cope well with pain like this--the bigger problem is risk of infection, so the vet will need to remove the exposed bone and close it up. But as anyone who's had a finger or toe amputated knows, the site of the amputation will remain very sensitive long after its healed.

My mom's completely indifferent to that fact my cat's hurt. No "Sorry, it was an accident" or anything. Just complete denial she had anything to do with it.

Sometimes I really hate my family. This is one of those times.

My conversation with my mom got interrupted by the sister I hate coming over unannounced, I got in an argument with my brother and my cat threw up on my bed. All in the span of less than half an hour. This is shaping up to be a horrible day.

Have had an upset stomach for the last 4 days - no idea why. Had to get various tests done. Ended up taking some medication to calm the intestines, and now I've got a mega stomach ache and bloating............. I'm so over being sick, even my digestive system seems to be AS, I wish it was NT.

I hate having a facebook. What am I supposed to do with it, beyond enabling serial friend-collectors and indulging superficial connections with people I wont ever speak to beyond a random, cursory regard? Why is it that nobody responds to poignant, philosophical probings or scientific observations, but people rush to the most, salacious and sensational banalities like a pack of starving dogs? Phronemophobia? Ideophobia? Escapism? Affinity for mind-numbing, self-aggrandized abstractions and platitudes, that put needless importance on such mundaneness as what one ate for breakfast; where he is, precisely, at a given point in time; and which of his thirty-two teeth is mildly sensitive to beverages cooled below room temperature? The whole dynamic bothers me. Moreover, I'm socially marginalized enough in real life, avolitionally - why reenact that same headache online, of my own free will, in order to integrate myself into a mass convention that extols quantity over quality; that lauds words, for the sake of words; and that contradictorily allows for profligate degrees of interaction, but without the substance that would suppose a worthwhile communication?

Also, even though I've not been posting here long -- only four times or so since I was diagnosed -- I prefer the format of WP more. The format of FB drives me insane... it reminds me of reading some wordsearch where you have to weed significant strings of information out from a larger, inscrutable chaos. I dont even bother reading my feed anymore, because it makes me tired... I have maybe, three or four people I would truly like to keep in contact with there. Though I would actually prefer they email me, because I work so much better two-on-two; so I think I'm going to delete it

Yes, probably. I can definitely see how it sounds extreme, possibly dramatic. Most of what I wrote is just a means of catharsis, though, which is why I posted it here rather than on the main page. I just needed to vent somewhere without consequence.

I hate going to college because it feels like I'm not actually getting an education in a lot of the classes, and also I'm sick of flagrant disregard for rules in places where I go, and the unwritten stuff that they never tell you about, and the word "absurd"(until it's determined to be an intrinsic scientific property), and the concept of opinions due to their impossible-to-define state, and the hot weather of summer, and the way the sun goes down late in summer, and I should probably stop before I get mentally tongue-tied.

Stupid insomnia!

Need to go for a walk. Feeling really trapped. I slowly feel my sanity slip away.

Today I have discovered one of my pet hates: waiting/ getting screwed around. It began yesterday, yesterday I walked to the art gallery as a part of class (30 min walk) only to be told it was cancelled due to rain. Then when I tried to get home all of the trains to where I live where cancelled for 2 hours, missing my visit with my sister. Today, I'm currently waiting for someone to pick me up for a party an hour away. Been by myself all day while my boyfriend played paintball all day, I wouldn't mind this if I didn't live with his family. His mum used this opportunity to yell at me for trivial things. Still waiting and looking at the time go by. It's as fun as watching paint dry

I'm so mad that two times in a row, I wake up and step in a mess left by my friend's animals. I know it's nice of them to let me live with them for a while, but I might move out in favor of a cleaner home. It's annoying and disgusting I wish they'd just keep them outside at night. My feet and shoes don't deserve this!