Success by 30 or death

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Some of the coolest people I know are in their 70s. They're still achieving lots of things.

Also love isn't an achievement, it just happens by being in the right place at the right time. There's ample opportunity for it to happen to you all your life.

I will be 30 in February. I'm currently out of grad school and living at home because I am incapable of living on my own at this time. My 20s were ravaged by the effects of BP and other health issues. I was actively suicidal and nearly offed myself a few times due to my perceived failure at being an adult.

When I moved back home I gave up for a month - on grad school, on becoming a professor/researcher, on being happy, everything. I was empty and dark.

At the end of that month Conan O'Brien was forced to leave the Tonight Show. I love that guy and was genuinely sad that he was losing his dream, too. During his final speech to his audience he said:

"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get - but if you work hard and are kind, amazing things can happen."

Upon hearing that I knew I had a choice: really give up or believe again that being a good person would get me somewhere. I chose to believe.

I'm now on a good cocktail of meds that are keeping me stable and I'm trying to learn basic life skills. I have an academic advisor and several profs at my grad program that absolutely believe that I can and will see my dreams through.

I still feel like 30 is sort of a death sentence, but I'm hoping that passing that birthday will make the number seem a bit more normal.


Hang in there.

It's apparent that a lot of people feel that suicide is a bad idea. I'd like to say that it isn't a good or bad idea, it is just an idea. I really do think people should give suicide a chance and stop with the platitudes that suicide is 'a permanent solution to a temporary problem', or a selfish and cowardly choice (it really is not cowardly and takes a lot of courage, I'm sure).

I like to think that suicide is a permanent solution to all the worries of life and inconveniences it entails. Sure, you could go seek help, go through all the CBT therapy until you go mad fighting trying to fight depressive thoughts or scenarios. Perhaps you could take some magical beans from a psychiatrist or undergo some shock therapy, but really I think people should give suicide a chance. Suicide is the real cure-all in an age where the last thing we need is some quack experimenting with us on different pills which, in many situations solve nothing. It's still the same life/world and a pill is not going to change it.

Ever thought that perhaps the reason nobody comes back from the dead is because death is so awesome that they didn't want to leave the afterlife for this doldrum of a world? Just think about it, there are heaps of people all over the world emigrating to the other side, but none come back. What does that tell you?

Remember death is inevitable and it is YOUR LIFE CHOICE if you want to end the pain and suffering now. Suicide is a permanent fix to all the problems that have plagued you and will continue to do so. Take your stand and say NO to life when all it does is hand you lemons. Sure, you could make lemonade but really, are these empty platitudes really helpful?

Perhaps that there is no afterlife and when you die, your body, mind and soul just cease to exist altogether. (Not saying that that's a bad thing, would much prefer that to being miserable 24/7.)

I don't think anybody would argue with that.

30 seems awfully young to me. Have you ever googled Winston Churchill? He had alot going on for him early one (at least, having a noble-ish background), and didn't marry until he was past 30. I believe he didn't become prominent in his policial career until well past 50 or 60, and many realize that he had had really good insight well after the fact that had not been recognized at the time.

I found that people transmit their negative energy like crazy when they don't like themselves. The trick is to either go 'eff that' and change (be the change you want to see in the world), or find the thing you excel at and embrace what you have. Or go crazy and combine them!

There's always people who are better off, no matter what. Comparing yourself to them is a death spiral no matter who you are*.

*Yes, hyperbole, fine.

In response to the 'lemons' debate:



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt6iTwVIiMM&feature=related[/youtube]

"Success" is a mythical construct of oppression. Buy into it and you'll never achieve real happiness. There is no success or failure in regards to life, only good and evil. Do things to enjoy them for what they are, not as a means to "achieve success", which is merely an excuse for putting yourself above others, the path to evil.

If others can't appreciate you for who you are and have to be won over by your success then they are evil.

EVIL!

Maybe it's an Aspie thing but I had the same sensation as you, minus the suicide.

For me it stemmed from a) not knowing I had Aspergers and thinking I was being a failure and needed to improve myself, and b) I had talents that nobody around me shared. When I was 20, I told myself to be fluent in reading and writing five languages before I was 30. All through my 20s this was some sort of a holy mission for me.
Also I love to write but I could never find the energy and concentration for it. I vowed to be a productive writer before I was 30

I am 31 now and never made these things. My desire for them hasn't gone away and I don't think they ever will.


My question to you would be: is success absolutely the only thing worth living for? Because it's not about how great your movies are, obviously.

In response to the lemon response:

[img][800:1506]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/23463643/Platitudes%20for%20the%20hungry%20-%20lemons.jpg[/img]

Indeed. Gratuitous beer pic of mine:





Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! *snorts*

This is a great book! Not some self help hocus pocus mumble jumble; the power of positive thinking lies in fooling yourself the RIGHT way, as in, the way that accomplishes your goals. Really, can't we convince ourselves of anything? Why not CHOOSE what to convince ourselves of? That's what successful people do; they choose to believe they are/will be successful, some even go so far as to fail and look at that as a success! (flips me out but whatever, lol)

Cool thread. The OP is a bad ass.

I'm 23 and have had worked from nothing to what I have now. It took 4 years and I am still trying. I am 82 credits short of a bachelors degree and probably have an iq of 90 before the 4 years i'm sure I had an iq of 50, no joke. I think the only reason I never did anything was because I was too caught up in my ex relationship/ being psychotic always trying to prove to her that I could do something. It was 4 years. I know if I can put up with that I know you can put up with what you are going through.

Yes, I think of quitting all the time and that I would be a failure even if I get my degree, but I keep trying and I know eventually that one day I will have whatever it is that I want, once i'm surrounded with people who I think I can be myself with. Hope the best for you.

Damn...y'all make me feel old...death at 30? 40?

Geeze...

~Kate <---over 40