I missed you too. -RANT-

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My dad is normally a nice person to me, but he has times during the year where he can also be a complete ass. I was at my girlfriend's house for about 10 days, he says over the phone that he missed me while I'm there, yet I came home to him and his attitude.

When I first made it back to my hometown, he did refuse to help carry any of my luggage, even the super light stuff, so I was a little peeved at that moment, but I didn't think anything of it. Little did I know, there was a whole lot more going on. So far, I have been woken up each morning to him blasting the volume on the tv, to a point I could hear it from my bedroom. First off, he knows pretty damn well that I am NOT a morning person, and if I don't have anything important to wake up for, "mornings do not exist" in my case. Second off, he is not being very sensitive. I've been having back pain, thigh pain, shoulder pain, and neck pain since I got home. That is probably either from lack of sleep or because I was so active back in my gf's hometown, but it is topped off with my usual migraines and the fact that I might be lactose intolerant, and I keep forgetting that, so I've been having some stomach pain and nausea as well. Needless to say, I've been trying to get some rest to relieve the pain, yet dad keeps telling me things like "Hang up the phone for me," or "I'm thirsty, go out and buy me a drink,". What really pissed me off today was when he told me to get my train pass so he could trade me for one with more money on it. I understood that I would be traveling a little bit more tomorrow due to various appointments, but I could not find my wallet which was where my train pass was, and did not feel like looking for it at the moment due to all the pain I was in. When I said that, he flipped and started ranting about how I never listen to him. Uh news flash, I haven't listened to him since I got home, not on a regular basis. In fact, all year I've been buying stuff for him, cleaning stuff for him, hanging up phones even if I was called from my bedroom to do it, and it was all because I took pity on the fact he was hospitalized at the beginning of the year. Plus, he was fully recovered after a few months yet I continued doing all these things for him for the rest of the year, even though mom offered numerous times to do some of the work for me. I repeatedly told dad that I would look for my wallet later tonight, yet he continued yelling about how I never listen to him. I couldn't help but say "Well you blasted the tv volume this morning, I think we're even." I didn't even mention the whole weekend, and yet he got even more pissed and denied that he did that, and said that I chose to wake up early.

Wait, didn't I say that I hated mornings and that they "don't exist" if I have nothing important to wake up for? Why would I choose to wake up early? Right now I just feel like I've been treated unfairly pretty much all weekend, and I don't really feel like being at home to put up with it right now. Since I already went over a friend's house yesterday, I cannot just go over again, mainly because she has another friend visiting, and I would feel badly about coming over so often. So the most I can do right now is just keep myself in my own room for the rest of today (luckily my laptop is in here, so I'm not entirely cut off from the world.)

Anyway, the most I really want from dad at the moment is for him to at least say "please" and "thank you" if he is going to make me do something for him. Right now, all I wanted to do was rant and get everything off my chest without him overhearing it.

Good idea

I came on here once and ranted about my family In amongst the 'yeah, they are horrible' comments, I got a few responses basically telling me how lucky I was. Whilst they didn't make me feel great, they were the most helpful in putting things in perspective. I think this might be a similar situation (I deleted the post, so can't link you to it)

Your dad sounds kind of nice - he rang you when you were away, he is concerned about getting money on your pass. You're still living (for free) at home, and all in all, could have worse chores than being asked to hang up the phone, or buy a drink. You also mention he was in hospital a while ago- whilst he may have recovered from whatever he was in for, it can take months to get your energy back to normal afterwards.

I understand the 'please' thing- it's always nice to be asked, even if you both know you're going to do it. Maybe when you're calmer, mention it to him that whilst you're happy to help, you'd like him to say please and thank you, as that's the way he brought you up!

Blecch.... it seems by the rant that daddy just likes having his own personal SERVANT.

I don't have much advice, but it must feel nice to stay with the boyfriend and be free of that for a while...

Last edited by BlueMax on 08 Jul 2012, 6:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Rant or no rant, join the club, my fathers the exact same. happends more so if ive been away... its like sumhow when im away "oh i miss u come home" i come home n all of a sudden i wish i never set foot through the door.. and he denies ever doing it...

My mum n I watched a thing on AS by Dr Tony Attwood apparently this is also A-typical behaviour of a lot (not saying all, n not trying to be sexist), AS men. My mum found herself, comparing my father all the time to it. I mainly made her watch it for my sake... trying to get her to understand me... -shrugs-

Your dad is being manipulative, and controlling. The fact that you were away from his control for 10 days, means you must be punished and "readjusted" back to being controlled by him again. He is not going to change, and the situation will not improve. You need to move out.

I'm inclined to agree.

Sorry but I am inclined to agree with most of the other posters. He is being rude and insensitive. While you may not be in a position to move away now, I would start planning for the day when you can do so. You may well be getting to live there for no cash cost but that doesn't mean that it's free. The emotional cost can be far greater than you are able to pay. You are not a slave and do not deserve to be treated like one.

Beautifully said!