Action vs. Procrastination...
The most infuriating f*****g thing in the world is knowing that you have the potential to do something, to achieve any goal, anything, doesn't really matter what it is, and having your brain create all kinds of excuses and reasons why you can't do it right then, or even at all.
Sometimes I feel like I really am my own worst enemy. Procrastination is a disease. Excuse-making is a disease. I am extremely proficient at both of those, and I don't know what to do about it. Every day, I have to think about how much different EVERYTHING would be for me if I ever just took all the great ideas I have and just f*****g ACTED on them. I know that I am capable of achieving anything I want to do, I just don't know how to get past this negativity I have that comes from absolutely f*****g NOWHERE and turn all my potential into reality...
There's a quote I really like... I forget who said it, but it's "When thought becomes excessively painful, action is the only remedy". It's something I really want to live by, and I think the fact that I DON'T live by it is the source of 99% of the problems I've ever had in my life. I'm not sure what I can do in order to live by that quote better...
I don't know what kind of advice I'm even looking for here. There are no external forces frustrating any of my plans and goals. In fact, everyone I've surrounded myself with in my life is nothing but supportive and helpful to me. The only thing keeping me from being awesome is myself, and there isn't even a logical reason for this.
"Emotionally paralyzed" is a good way to describe me. It's like being the guy holding carrying the ball in a football game, and having everyone on your team (my friends, family, etc.) pushing the whole other team out of the way and giving you a straight shot down the field to get the touchdown. Everyone I know wants me to get those touchdowns, and is doing everything they can to help me do it, yet I just stand there like a dumbass holding the ball, not moving an inch. I can see the straight path in front me, but sometimes it's like I forget how to move my feet. If that analogy makes any sense.
_________________
Not my chair, not my problem, that's what I say.
It's not even depression or lethargy or distraction... well, maybe a form of distraction. I think about something I want to do, and then maybe I start distracting myself with all of its possible outcomes and extensions...
_________________
Not my chair, not my problem, that's what I say.
Venusflower67
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 18 Dec 2012
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 63
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
9of47
Snowy Owl
Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 125
Location: Body in Melbourne, mind is far beyond the stars
Procrastination is my worst enemy at the moment. I am probably going to have to start a new course a semester early as I probably won't be able to finish my current one this semester. I'm on break at the moment and my room is a dump, I've been late for my work shifts (only a minute) so I might not have a job to pay the rent soon and I can't figure how I'm going to get on a study allowance again (as working by itself isn't cutting it).
_________________
Peace of mind, you ran away from me, so make me lose my mask of sanity...
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