Feel miserable

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I've not been able to find a job. I've been looking and looking. Instead of doing something practical I got degrees in my special interests Russian w/minor in Biology Bachelor of Arts and then Communications Science Disorders and Deaf Education....a Bachelor of Science I didn't know I had to have a Masters in that to work and further to get certified I have to have a job but to get a job I'd need to be certified. Plus I got kicked out of Grad school for being autistic and feel utterly miserable.

I can't even get a stupid job selling mattresses with those degrees. No job I apply for is ever going to hire me and even vocational rehab is drawing a blank and can't get me a single solitary interview. I've considered going to be a CNA as I'd like a job helping people.....I'm in my 30s so it's not like I can go back to school.....it'd be another four years....I've asked husband about a one year degree(which I could do b/c I have a degree) in computer science he says no b/c you can work in that field w/out a degree. Yet I can't find a job in that either b/c I have no certifications and no education in that field aside from reading on my own......I didn't pass the A+ and husband refuses to allow me to take a course in it.....

It's just damned hopeless. Oh and to get some money which I currently really need I've agreed to be a research subject......but the studies where you take pills and do blood draws pay better. I'm scared to do those though.....and I can't get SSI b/c husband earns too much and he's tired " of my laziness and doing nothing useful in life and I better get a job or else blah blah blah blah"....I take care of our autistic son and NT daughter...keep the house, argue w/insurance, deal w/school for son, do dr and therapy appts for son, daughter, and myself(I'm also Immunodeficient and have to have IVIG every miserable month for four hours)
I've been applying to 3 jobs a day on average and nothing.........

I hear ya . . .
There just aren't any jobs out there. I started a job as a dog walker, but there aren't as many hours as promised. Figures - it's too perfect to be true.
I'm thinking of applying to retail which I vowed I would never do again, but I think I might have to. I have a degree too, for what ever that's worth these days. I'm not smart enough to pursue a master's. But I want to make a living.

It is so frustrating! I wish employment was more autie friendly. Everything I'm capable of doing doesn't pay enough to live on.

I just feel really incompetent..........somehow having a job at least I wouldn't feel so useless and like a total waste.
I think maybe I'll end up doing retail(if they'll even hire me) I think I'm smart enough to get my Masters but I think I'd just be discriminated against again. .....

I honestly think jobs should be assigned and if you work hard and qualify you get to get promoted....that system would work way better.....no stupid interview or resumes to get through.

Sounds like your husband is being kind of a jerk. You're not worthless just because you don't have your own income.

and to make matters worse I just came home from the doctor and I have to have a biopsy done on my thyroid. I'm terrified and all husband can do is talk about how I need to start praying now......and how he has some sort of GI problem but plans to do nothing about it because Jesus healed him...... I am a Christian, please don't put down my faith, but I practice my faith differently than husband does.....I just wanted him to hold me when I came and instead I got a big religious lecture....

no he's not against the biopsy, I'm getting that regardless of how he feels. Just very upset.

Just an idea to consider for employment. Either subing at schools or appying for teachers aid or mental health worker or one on one assistant in special education. I think you have plenty of education for the subing and assistant type positions. The pay is not good at assistant levels but gets your feet wet in special education. There are also positions that visit children at homes under guidence of teacher.

Actually it seems like you have a pretty full plate as homemaker but I know what you mean about wanting to participate and contribute in your own right and have your own career.

Your husband sounds like many others in not being very aware of all the aspects of the situation, and not getting the toatl picture about cooperating as a team on an equal basis. I am not trying to put down your husband, as I was as bad or worse, just speak plainly.

Counseling helped some with my own situation. We tried just talking things out between us, which helps certainly but can stall at certain roadblocks. An outsider (counselor) can help break down the blocks. Using a pastor or similiar is a possibility, depending on what you have available & it is normally free, which helps.

at this point employment is on hold while I get this taken care of.