4th of July - no invites

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I saw a friend post a photo online of them having a BBQ and cooking hot dogs with a bunch of others over a fire. I immediately thought oh, I would have liked to be there wish they invited me. Then I realized I've lived in this place for 15 years and no one has invited me to a 4th of July BBQ. With hundreds of co-workers and acquaintances and "friends" over all these years... WTAF?? Am I missing something? Should I have been asking around trying to get in on some BBQ all this time? How do people wind up at these things? Is it weird to expect I should have been invited to one at some point? It makes me a little angry now.

Do the BBQ by yourself for yourself. And remember next time to invite someone.

I think he's trying to say that he didn't have anyone to invite, since all of his friends were at that other BBQ.

Sorry to hear that you're feeling left out. I've definitely been there. Maybe you could just do a one-person BBQ? Get out the grill, turn on some music, and try to make the best of being alone. It's difficult, I know, and it might end up with you feeling even worse, but there's no harm in trying, right?

I often wonder the same thing. How does everyone else seem to end up getting invited to all of these things? I've tried playing it cool and waiting to see if I get invited. After many years of this I decided to try a slightly bolder approach, where if someone mentioned an activity or function I would express an interest in partaking. This didn't produce any better results. So now I am trying to flat out tell people that I want to do things, and I have made it clear that I wouldn't hang out with them if I didn't like them (so they shouldn't feel timid around me). Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to be working either. I wish I knew how people did this.

If it's any consolation, I also spent yesterday/night alone, even though I had really wanted to do something (and I have a live-in boyfriend who was conveniently coming and going throughout the day).

Thanks for the replies. I needed to vent a little.

Most of the time people invite the people they hang out with to those kind of things, or relatives. My son invited us to his yesterday but I didn't go. I didn't feel well and neither did my younger daughter so I stayed home with her, but my husband and other kids went. My older daughter and her fiance went to something during the day too, before they went to my son's thing. It was with people they hang out with. Normally when you have something you just text the people you see on a regular basis and invite them.

Probably the best way to get invited to things is to invite others to something at your place. Do that a few times and then you will start getting invitations. Also, invite people to come hang out sometimes, then they will invite you. Once you become the person who they hang out with, you'll get invited to parties.

We had a bbq on the 4th last year and I invited a ton of people. They all came, but unlike most people I invited people I don't see very often too. I also invite those people to the parties we throw. I like a mix of different people who don't normally hang out together or socialize together. It makes things more interesting, although many people just invite the same people every time and only those who they hang out with.

So, invite some folks over to hang out. That way you'll be on their minds more often and likely to get invited. Just because somebody knows you doesn't mean they remember you when they start inviting people to come to something. Hanging out with them gets you into their memory.

all of my life I've had to do stuff alone 'cause nobody else was on my frequency. IOW nobody wanted me to visit them or would visit me. one gets used to it after awhile. that is the thing to remember, that "birds of a feather flock together" IOW people will associate with people like themselves and reject anybody not on their frequency much like a radio tuner. it is just that us aspies are generally on another frequency relative to the NTs of this world. when I learned this I gained a measure of peace. I hope the OP can find his own answers and get his peace that way, as well.

You have to invite people to your parties first. Maybe all of your friends have been waiting 15 years to receive an invitation from you.