Hopeless romantic--but in a childlike way??

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I'm trying this here, hoping that people will be more supportive.

I'm really wondering where all the people are who are like this. I feel that I have spent the last five years screaming at the top of my lungs into an abyss, here and elsewhere, without the faintest echo of a response.

I'm looking for other aspies who are very romantic and sexual, BUT NOT IN AN ADULT SORT OF WAY! By that I mean, those whose interest in others, of whatever sex(es) you are into, is based on a sense of "magic", a sense of possibility without regard for reality. And for whom that feeling, of wanting to create a world apart filled with fantasy and beauty, pervades your entire life, including how you relate to your special interests. Also, who are sexual, but are interested almost exclusively in "nice", playful (non-penetrative) sexual play.

It often seems that all the people I meet are of one of two kinds--either into kid things like swinging in beautiful parks and running around, yet at the same time asexual and aromantic, or else interested in dating but want serious relationships with possible living together and commitment. But precious NOBODY who wants a date to do things like run around and swing in parks with, who finds that romantic.

It would be very helpful to maintaining a positive outlook on life if I had people to regularly chat with who are more like myself in this regard. It doesn't matter if we live so far apart that we could never, ever actually have a relationship, or if we have totally different interests otherwise. I also would even like to have more real-life FRIENDS like this, because I have realized that it's not merely an issue of not having a romantic relationship, it's that NOBODY I meet "dreams" enough for me to relate. I just am long over-tired and sick of feeling like a different species, even from other aspies!!

I don't mind people who like to swing in parks. I find that romantic, too.

But I also like to go to the movies, go to sporting events, have pleasant conversations.

I find most people are unromantic these days, particularly in western culture, I guess they have better things to do. I can relate to your perspective, maybe we are old fashioned.

I've wondered that. Although I find one has to be careful even with using the word "romantic". Too many people use it to mean commitment, doing things for your partner like buying gifts, etc. I guess there needs to be a word for that idea too, but it makes it harder to express what I'm talking about, which is really an innocent, idealistic approach to love--like my example of swinging on swings together.

But I do notice that it seems almost like there was more of this in the past. Like just looking at art for instance, in certain periods, like Impressionism and especially if I remember correctly, the Rococo period, there was a strong romantic ideal in art (as opposed, of course, to the capital-R "Romantic" period, which was something totally different). Modern art has become so much darker and less visionary, less focused on the best of what could be rather than the worst of what is. I wouldn't be surprised if the artists were just reacting to the way people around them were behaving and living their lives.

Yes, the word romantic has been materialized, and now means certain actions rather than the thought behind it.

Could be just the time period we are going through. Things tend to go up and down in history.

I can or rather I suppose used to be this way, but I'd rather not- I don't like being romantic.
It's a sort of pained existence if you ask me....

Also, as a female aspie it is INCREDIBLY dangerous to think or even present this way, so I do not, if not only for my own physical safety...

Anything even remotely childish is quickly seized upon and either creepily worshiped or torn asunder by those cruel enough to enjoy that act of breaking something so unvarnished and untempered.

Yes, and people who do these "romantic" actions don't necessarily have a romantic outlook on life in general.

The style of this digital painting is very romantic:
http://arthurblue.deviantart.com/art/Th ... -298356969
I would very much like friends I could go down by a stream with and pretend we're in a place like this.
In a perhaps less stereotypical example, the sense of wonder prompted in some people by outer space or undersea landscapes also is. Neither of these have anything to do with buying anything, doing favors, etc.



I supposed it's a matter of a girl/guy's "taste" whether being "worshiped" for these qualities is "creepy" or not. Though I would imagine that if you are repeatedly treated meanly by people just because they want to see if they can ruin your innocence, then that could make even the most oblivious aspie change his/her behavior somewhat. Though I'd imagine this wouldn't change relationship ideals, though--it would just make an aspie that much more eager to let that side out around other people (aspie or not) who are the same way. I have a tendency of smiling a lot, and I remember once I was in a summer program with some mean kids who stomped on my foot to "keep me from smiling". It didn't change my tendencies though--I still smile too much apparently.

Ya i am a hopeless romantic. i just want to hold hand, hug, chat away and not get into bed or do crazy sex

guys who hit on me just ask me out directly for a sexual expedition. i feel very bad as if i am a sex machine.

i would prefer to know a person, fall in love with them, understand them and then get into bed.

But that doesnt seem to be the case in todays world.

Justin Bieber....sorry i just want more than your body...

That's a nice picture. I like to smile too I guess. There are people that like it and ones that don't, depends on whether they are optimists or pessimists (usually also bullies) probably.