Does STARING bother you?

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It sure bothers me!

In addition to having AS and always having been aware that I was different somehow, I'm a giant to boot.

I understand that people from some cultures are taught to look others straight in the eye so they won't think you're shifty or disingenuous, while people from some other cultures are taught NOT to look others in the eye because it's considered disrespectful and intimidating.

Whenever I'm out somewhere, at a restaurant or a supermarket, etc etc, there's ALWAYS someone there who feels the need to GAPE at me. And I'm not even that good-looking. Maybe they're not used to giants, but to me it feels very creepy, like they're undressing me with their eyes.

I've thought of staring right back at them—maybe even crossing my eyes and smiling idiotically—or even waving "hi" at them. But this is Los Angeles, and the chances are pretty good they might smile idiotically and wave right back!

Ideas?

I get strangers staring at me all the time. It's hard to ignore, and it always makes me feel uncomfortable. It then leads to agoraphobia in my case. Sometimes I just cannot step out the door because I can't bear to be stared at. So I stay indoors all day. Hopefully it won't get worse to the point where I can't leave the house even for work.

I try to avoid eye contact with strangers, but because I have good peripheral vision I still notice when people are staring, which makes me feel worse because why would people want to stare at someone who's not making eye contact back?

Oh, it bothers me. It's quite the problem on my end. I'm very paranoid about attracting attention outside, and the feeling of eyes on the back of my head multiplies exponentially the more people I see in my periphery. Still, I stared at people a lot myself when I was younger. As a child I would just zone out without any real reasons for it attached, while in my teens it became more of a feeling of intense curiosity about who the recipient was, what they were doing in life, what their hopes and dreams were. I avoid all eye contact now as an instinct, have done so for years, but when you walk past a person you don't have to be looking in their eyes to know they watch you as you go by. Typing all of this makes me feel slightly insane. :/

You could be a bit self conscious if the staring thing bothers you. When I'm not wearing my usual platform boots and crazy hair - like when I go to the gym I look like complete s**t like everyone else in there then I just find the constant staring to be rude. Otherwise I'm pretty used to being in the spotlight of the public eye in which case I just dismiss it purely as they've seen someone dress differently to them therefore I've expanded their small minds.

It makes me very uncomfortable, since I was a kid. Because staring often came with insults. Like, they stare at you during a minute and say something like "hey you, ret*d !" with a silly voice.
It's sometimes caused me to panic and scream so people deduced that I was insane.
So since then, I just can't stand it.
I eventually developed social anxiety disorder when I was a teen. Mostly cured now, but I still have a few remains of it.

Do people stare cuz you have Aspergers or another health problem?

Personally, people feel that there's something abnormal. My bad motricity, the way I move and speak. Not always immediately, I've noticed that adults take time to notice with a few exceptions (people with a social or paramedical job), but kids notice almost always immediately, the instant they start looking at me.
They feel that I'm not NT and they interpret it as a mental disorder.

I avoid all eye contact now too, and it is frustrating when I talk about my anxiety of people looking at me as they pass me and people just ask ''do you look at them?'' and I say no, and then they go ''well how do you know they're looking?'' I always have that same conversation whenever I talk about this to people. But, it's like you said, you don't have to be looking at them to know they're looking at you. I can usually sense it, and I also see in my peripheral vision. I might sometimes be wrong, maybe they're just looking in my direction which looks like they're looking directly at me, but I know that 9 times out of 10 they're looking at me. I see their heads turn towards me as they pass. It kept happening today, and instead of enjoying my free time of walking around the shops, I was spending the time wondering what it was that kept attracting people's attention to me as they walked past. I went into the public toilets to have a look at myself in the mirror and I looked fine; nicely-groomed hair, clean face, dressed presentably, and so on. I brushed my hair again in case the wind had messed it up, and touched up my lipstick, then went back out again but it still didn't make any difference. I still kept seeing people turn their heads towards me as I passed.

Most people will say that they're probably looking at me because I'm attractive. But I don't believe that's true. I'm not saying I'm not attractive, but I'm not stunningly beautiful enough to make people look. I try to dress to blend in to the background, because I don't want to be in the spotlight. So I dress in a trendy casual style but not as if I'm going to the Ritz, nor do I dress like a tramp either. I was doing anything different, all I was doing was walking around shopping like what you normally do in a shopping center. People weren't looking at me so much in the shops, it was more so in the street. Sometimes it looks like people are swinging their head right round to look at me, or even slow down. I mean, come on, I am not that weird. I see visibly weirder people about; people that walk funny, dress funny and don't take care of themselves. I'm nowhere near like that.

Maybe I will ask someone one day why they are staring. It will probably shock them and it is not something you really ask a stranger, but I am getting rather sick of being made to feel like a freak.

Good idea, I feel inclined towards outright asking people myself in the bad cases, but that would take a lot of confidence. I wonder if the majority of people out there are honestly so comfortable with the sort of staring they do, it simply doesn't compute in their heads that they're doing it at all. Maybe it's an evolutionary tactic of knowing your surroundings, that perhaps us unfortunate few suffer from as a result of being too hyper-aware.

I know I'm too hyperfocused on it. Usually hyperfocusing is a weakness of mine, but when it comes to anxiety, I think not. Even if I am focusing on what I've gone out to do, there's still a voice in the back of my mind saying "they're all looking at you" what I cannot get rid of. I find all the people hard to ignore.

I'm the type of person who treats others the way I like to be treated, which is one reason why I don't like making eye contact with strangers. I don't like being stared at, so I don't want to stare at others, because I don't want to make them feel self-conscious.

Yes, staring bothers me. The current city where I live is more diverse, and usually nobody stares at me (that I noticed). The former city was less diverse, and they used to look me up and down (I started presenting as trans before 2004, and I am 33 years old.)

On the other hand, sometimes I purposely avoid eye contact. Sometimes I feel compelled to stare at something. Some things just look fascinating. Or maybe some other reason, like my brain is tired so I want to zone out.

Quite frankly, staring is not illegal, so I do not give someone a hard time for doing it. On the other hand, sometimes I move when I feel uncomfortable.

Likewise, there are some people I do not even want to look at.

The Interpersonal Communications "instructor" had the nerve to tell me that I failed to make eye contact with "that girl", when she was doing a presentation and that was "unsupportive." Considered tattling to the dean on the instructor, but suspected, as usual, nobody would believe me or care.

That's what I got for making too little eye contact.

Some dude on the bus snapped @ me "you got a head problem? Want me to fix it for you?". He was talking on the phone before and after he told me that.

That's what I got for making too much eye contact.

Seriously, there is no such thing as the correct amount of eye contact. When someone makes what I consider too much (or too little) eye contact with me, I ignore it. Part of it is that they are not worth the effort. The other part is that some people are career criminals, mentally ill, physically violent, stoned, drunk, and et cetera. Thus I am afraid of them.

When I make too much or not enough eye contact with someone, they act like I just invented the world's worst felony, and my patent morally justifies any response they choose to give me.