Rants

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My mother is driving me INSANE!!
Calls me all the time and talks about exactly the SAME THING!!
Over and over.
All her freaking health problems reeled off one after the other.
I have enough health problems of my own.
What makes her think I want to hear all about hers REPEATEDLY!!
I don't go around there and tell her my problems.
I couldn't anyway, because I wouldn't be able to get a f*****g word in.

If I don't answer she'll end up coming around.

Then I end up drinking.

^ I do that sometimes.
Tell her I have an appointment or something on the fire, or whatever.

Mum doesn't even ask me how I am, just straight into all her problems.
It becomes exhausting, especially when I'm trying to stay positive and she only wants to talk about negative stuff.

Hurts to even think about posting

Me: I want to mkultra this b***h
Them: Arightly then
Me: wtf

* Don't worry about it, everything is OK *

Right...

A disagreement or problem with someone usually has a solution. Unwillingness to talk to them does not seem to have any solution.

Damn...

I got billed from the ambulance in my seroquel overdose and its damn near a grand

Normally ambulances aren't that much but I have "advance life support" that is like $700 alone, which is basically like saying, you really screwed the pooch this time. I wish it worked... the irony in trying to kill yourself and making you life worse seems to apply here. I think it liked to do it, I could see with my eyes closed so my brain was definitely on drugs, granted everything stop moving when I closed my eyes. It seems overdosing on seroquel causes some interesting effects on the brain. I hallucinated on it too which is unlike me but not entirely, for example depending on how I moved my head, things would run across the wall / roof. It was very painful though so I am not likely to do that again. Overdosing on seroquel looked to be a pretty nasty way to go, I lost motor control, my chest hurt very badly, I wanted to puke but couldn't with an extreme sedation feel.

This experience is number two in feeling like if I closed my eyes, I would be dead. Time one was a past drug overdose

I wouldn't have dialed 911 if the effects came in a different order The inability walk I was fine with, but it hurt like the dickens.

I am chicken s**t coward, maybe some day I'll get it right.

Should have just laid down and died

My father is a disgusting transphobe. Without mentioning anything to me first, he ambushed my partner to bully them and tell them to stop transitioning or they aren't welcome here anymore. With me being ill and mostly homebound, he's effectively trying to keep us apart.

My partner is a better person than both of us combined. Dad won't win this. I'll run off and risk my health/life whatever. This house is a hellhole anyways.

I hate human beings. I hate people. And I don't give a flying f**k if that's "not an attractive attitude" -- like I f*****g care?!?!? LMFAO. Oh honey I'm fifty-fucking six, I'm WAY beyond "is this attraaaactive??"

I'm sick of being misunderstood. I'm sick of being genuinely and with rightful cause, disappointed by someone acting completely sh***y to me out of the f*****g BLUE. I'm sick of being an actually NICE person -- seriously, there are people on here who think they know me as NOT that, but I am a f*****g nice person! And I still get treated like f*****g s**t.

So f**k it.

Probably some people are too stupid to be racist, or rather, too stupid to understand what the word even means

Capitalism literally makes me want to kill myself.

"That just sounds like slavery with extra steps" - Justin Roiland as Morty