I was an embarrassment when I was a teenager

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When I was a teenager I didn't seem to care about myself. I knew how to keep clean and stuff, but I just self-neglected because I didn't think other kids would judge, but they most probably did.

OK my clothes were always washed and ironed because my mum did all of that, and she did make sure my hair was brushed and tied back, but I would go to school with greasy hair, hairy legs, unbrushed teeth and probably even a little smelly under my arms. I remember my mum told me to get into the shower but I just went into the bathroom and turned the shower on to make it look like I was having a shower but I didn't really. I just shoved deodorant sticks in my bag and sprayed them on me when I got to school.

Looking back I wish I had taken more better care of myself, because whenever people in my class look at their year book (if they kept them) they will look at me in the photo and remember me as the "gross kid". No wonder I never had a boyfriend at school. I should have been old enough to take care of my own body.

Did anyone else neglect yourself as a teenager?

I certainly did.

When I was a young teenager (about age 14), I only showered once a week.

I used to wear dirty, torn clothes sometimes. I had pretty bad acne. I grew my hair long and messy.

I started caring a little bit about how I looked when I was 14---but not much.

I didn't really start caring until I was in my early 20's

lol everyone is an embarrassment when they're a teenager. It's just a part of growing up. kids are stupid and teenagers are still kids and still adjusting to the world. They don't have much judgement. The wiser ones are basically the ones that know to listen to everything their parents tell them to do.

It's nothing to feel bad about really.

Neglect? Well, all I can say never to the point of endangering myself but neglect definitely.
Crappier hygiene, whines like a toddler -- loudly at public I might add but then again half of everything I do is a social suicide, and just as gross as any kid no thanks to chronic sinusitis...

It's not just that kind of neglect during teenage years.

I also neglected schoolwork and quit school at ages 14-16.
Spent those years over 15 hours a day doing nothing but playing online games, pout and whine whenever there was no internet connection or whenever the computer's broken down or kept me from accessing it.


Did I regret it? Nope. Should've done better? Nope. Why? Because I'm still disinterested about these things.
No one can convince me except myself.


What I truly want was, a someone who could've guided and understood me better than I would've done it myself.

There were none because no one gets it -- those who tried either kept catering me, thought I do not know any better, too clueless (my parents) or too presumptuous that I'd automatically know what certain things are for via some form of mental 'osmosis'.
Or assume I was playing dumb or lazy whenever my body and mind are in a less reliable states as opposed to days when it was better -- or simply presume as if I were but a flawed NT or a hopeless ND.

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I wasn't really the "bratty" type of teenager.

I usually listened to authority figures, though I didn't dress that great, and was messy in general.

To be honest, most of my life I have neglected myself. I don't see the point. Unless I am very smelly or my skin looks dirty which I will then do something about it, there is no point.
I have never been fasionable. My clothes ar worn for comfort and to keep me warm. Most of my clothes are way past it, but they are comfortablw. Most have all their tags removed so they don't irritate my skin, as I seem to have sensitive skin. My Mum can't use most washing powders due to this (Especially scented biological washing powders) as they effect ms. I can't wear clothes when they have been aashed in such powders. I get raw red skin through me scratching myself etc. It takes a few washes in a more friendly powder to cleanse the clothes so I can wear them again. Is the same with hair cuts. It takes a few washes to get rid of every single loose cut hair before I can wear them again.

When I was depressed as a teenager, I didn't put much effort into my appearance. People would call me ugly and I'd get criticised for how I looked. However, whenever I did make a slight change, I'd get called a whole host of names. Even if all I did was wear my hair down. Almost every day I would tie it into a low ponytail.

I sometimes came to school with greasy hair, I used to use a hair product for dry hair but had a tendency to accidentally use too much. Now, I did have a phase of being very stereotypically feminine but it was short-lived. During this phase, I would paint my nails pink, and put on mascara. However, I disliked how the popular girls suddenly started to act nice to me. It seemed rather fake.

So I went back to my usual look. I wanted to go largely ignored. Unfortunately, by actively choosing to not put effort into my appearance I drew attention to myself. I'd always get questioned about it. However, as I've mentioned, if I ever did put any sort of effort in I'd either get insulted (e.g. being called an attention-seeker) or people would act friendly despite disliking me.

I remember writing about feeling like a bank canvas when I was sixteen. Since I'd been depressed for a long time, I was often apathetic at best and self-hating at worst when it came to self-expression. I didn't have a style that I identified with, and I often felt like I was lacking an identity. This made me feel self-conscious about being boring and I felt almost empty. A part of me wished that someone else would take over my life and make my choices for me. I couldn't bring myself to care about pretty much anything. Days would go by and I'd just have no energy. I felt half-dead.

When I moved away from my hometown, I started to care about my appearance a bit more. I saw it as a chance to start again. To build a life that made me feel alive rather than just dragging myself through the day. My depression didn't go away straight away, but it became more manageable. I made new friends. Started to care about more topics. I never fully realised just how depressed I'd been until I started to come out of it.

Sometimes I dress up in a smart-casual look even when I'm just staying in to study, because I'm more likely to actually work when I'm dressed like I'm ready to go out somewhere. I'll wear a jacket or an outfit that I particularly like since that makes me happy, and when I'm in a good mood I feel more inspired to work. By dressing like this, I feel prepared for the day and comfortable. It makes me feel more in control of my life rather than just throwing something on, if that makes any sense.

Also, I disagree with the assertion that in order to be smart a teenager must be obedient. I think a certain level of teenage rebellion is normal. Additionally, following and trusting authority figures without question seems ill-advised. Personally, if I had done so I would have continued to be treated awfully by certain authority figures in my life. I never would have had an impact on anything I wanted to change. My physics teacher only showed respect to me after I stood up to her.

I stood my ground with teachers even at age nine or ten. When I was in primary school, I disliked how we used to do thought exercises that were clearly biased towards certain answers yet my teachers acted like they were fully open to interpretation. Praising kids who gave them those answers. One day I copied the teacher's solution to one of these thought exercises. When I was challenged over this, I replied "What's the problem? I'm just giving you the answer you want. Oh sorry, would you prefer if I reworded it a bit and acted like it was original?"

At this point, I was sick of playing along with the act. Usually whenever I tried to give my own solution I was shut down (often without explanation) and only praised when I wrote some meaningless drivel that I didn't actually believe in. I got into a massive argument with my teacher over the definitions of objective and subjective. Eventually she admitted that she did want me to give her solution, but to come to it by myself. I made an argument for my solution, which was dismissed and I challenged her to give me a good reason why it wasn't a valid answer. She kept arguing that her solution was the only true solution, and I pointed out that if that is the only valid response then it's clearly not that subjective (unlike how she originally claimed the exercise to be). Eventually she gave up with me and told me to shut up.

My school counsellor would act in a similar manner. We would do thought exercises and I'd argue the case for my answers. She never tried to understand where I was coming from, she'd just get angry instead. Eventually she broke my spirit and I agreed to mindlessly write down whatever answers she demanded from me. Literally word for word. If I ever dared to question her, she'd get very angry indeed. She ended up having a mental breakdown in the end.

Anyway, I think authority figures and elders can offer wisdom and useful help. They might have beneficial experience. However, I believe that how much you follow them should be within reason. Don't push your luck too much, but don't take things lying down either.

I neglect myself more now than I did as a teenager. I put effort into how I presented as a teenager, now I look more like a homeless mental patient, despite not being either at the moment.

^ I’m the same. When I was a teenager I showered and washed and styled my hair every day. All the other girls were so into clothes so I tried it out for a while too. Now I shower when I need to, wash my hair twice a week and never style it. I wear my same old comfortable clothes until they fall apart. I still have some clothes that are 20 years old.

But when I got to about 15 I tried to act all "cool" and rather rebellious and I worked hard on my social skills to fit in and be liked by the other kids. It worked sort of, but going around with unshaved legs and greasy hair probably defeated the purpose. Sometimes appearance can make a big impact on how you are perceived by your peers.

I know a lot of teenagers are awkward and can sweat a lot and stuff, but the other girls were into making sure their hair was kept well-groomed and they all had shaved legs whenever we did gym or swimming, while I looked like a hairy gorilla.
On the (rare) non-uniform days we had, I came in dressed like a boy because I was a tomboy, but I wasn't trendy either, and the other girls showed off their girly clothes, and the other tomboys still wore trendy clothes.

In my last ever class photo (the one in the year book) I was in the center and had greasy hair, while all the other girls made an effort to look nice. So that is how I'll be remembered forever.

"Who's that scruffy, gross thing in the middle there?"
"Oh that's Joe90."
"Who?"
"Joe90, remember? Thick as s**t."
"Oh yes, now I remember. She was the stupidest kid in the class, as well as unkempt."
"Yes. I wonder what became of her?"
"Probably a homeless tramp now because she's too stupid to find a career."
"Yuk, I hope I never see her again."

You are human, just the same as the rest of us.