Starting to lose faith in my religion

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I just became an Atheist. It was done out of self care, and it's been great.

My system is kind of simple. Unless something is proven to me as being possible, or reasoned out logically, scientifically, etc., I don't believe it. If someone claims something that contradicts science, I figure that they're lying, there's trickery going on, or there's an otherwise rational explanation that isn't being acknowledged. There are lots of claims out there, but should they become *your* truth and dictate *your* belief system, if they aren't something you've truly experienced yourself, or feel that you can at least understand for yourself? There are way too many reasons why a person could be lying, or being misled or deceived themselves. Furthermore, your own mind can deceive you. You have to not fall for things which seem fishy. Test and retest things for certitude. If God wanted me to see miracles and believe in them, he would make me see them, they would be apparent, I would have no choice but to believe...I wouldn't have to take outlandish claims by others on faith. Believing anything others say on faith is being gullible. You can be easily misled and taken advantage of this way. Why would you do this to yourself? I figure we should all use our brains, question things. If someone tells me something that happened which is quite possible, I may not believe 100 percent if it sounds a little out there, but at least I'll assess for whether or not it is *possible*. If it seems entirely impossible to me, then I simply can't believe it. Some things just seem impossible to me, so I don't believe them. I suppose there's nevertheless some possibility in almost any claim (given that we don't know absolutely everything about science etc), but there's a point where I require proof (if they seem sufficiently unlikely and thus next to impossible, and contrary to what I already know about what's possible). I'm one of those people who really needs proof. Once it has been proven as possible one time, I can maybe believe it happened other times. But it needs to be proven the first time, to me personally, in an irrefutable way that I feel I can trust. Otherwise, where is the application to my life?

Many religious claims are the stuff of fantasy and science fiction. They are simply not otherwise rooted in this reality. Basically any variation of something I read in the fiction category, I can imagine happening in real life, it has some rooting in reality. Something in science fiction or fantasy, much of this clearly could not happen. Maybe it's possible in an alternate universe or far future or something, but mainly I am able to see why these contents are in the genre of fantasy and science fiction versus fiction. Fiction is made up stories that could happen, science fiction and fantasy couldn't happen in the present or past reality. Non-fiction are things that have happened. Some religious texts are most like sci-fi and fantasy or alternate history, with maybe some historical fiction thrown in there (something that could've happened in a particular time period but that's no proof it did), and some history as well. History is just non-fiction from a long time ago, but there is also this historical fiction and fantasy thrown in there, it isn't all of the same category. Imagine that people have switched around the labels of what genre a text fits into, and you have to figure out which one it fits into. There's no "religion" category...just fiction, non-fiction, science fiction, fantasy, etc. Which one is religion most like? A man came back from the dead. Sounds like horror, sci-fi, or fantasy. Doesn't sound like non-fiction or even fiction. So that's probably what it is. Unless we start seeing people coming back from the dead all over the place...I just don't buy it ever did happen. There are lies and deception in today's world and there were back then as well, surely.

I had one evangelist guy who used an argument about Jesus' resurrection. He said something about how Jesus' tomb was empty and his body was missing. Ok, so what? I have no idea what happened there. Anything could have happened. Bodies can be moved, if that's even the real tomb or whatever. I just felt like that was a very weak argument. Okay, his next point was, these people who saw Jesus come back, they died for this belief -- why would they give up their lives for something that wasn't even true. My response to that is the same: so what? Lots of people die for ridiculous reasons. People who are delusional do die for their crazy beliefs, and they want others to believe what they do. That doesn't make what they're claiming any more true. So that was a ridiculous point as well. I think he went on with one or two more things, but...they were all very flimsy. There just aren't any good arguments out there that really prove anything.

Thanks for your posting about Islam and Quran. So-called mathematical miracles wonders me significantly more than scientific ones, although the second ones appear to be more commonly used by Muslims in their apologetics.

I think rather about converting to Quran-only Islam (Quranism), not to Sunni or Shia. Sahih hadiths are, in my opinion, much easier to "disprove" than original Arabic text of Quran itself. Supposed absurdities of the sahih hadiths are IMO more blatant than ones in Quran. Many Quranists (if not all) do not believe that a person who leaves Islam, changed own faith from Islam to another religion or non-religious system of beliefs has to be killed. Some Muslims considers using hadiths as source of religion (especially or at least as an obligatory source of it) as shirk. Quranists are IMHO pretty harder to disprove than Sunnis or Shias.

My mentality thinks that the Quran presents The God as a being Who is OPPOSITE of being Most Gracious and Most Merciful, as someone infinitely worse than Satan and all other sinners among creatures together.

That's me in the corner....

A teacher from my school to which I attended from 2007 to 2010 said more than 10 years ago that I am "handicapped by religion" (Polish: okaleczony przez religię).

My mentality considers many practices of Abrahamic religions which are obligatory in certain religions "useless", problematic (problem-making), like obsessions and compulsions, even "sick" and "evil", like sabbath and days without any work, ablutions, circumcision, salat (especially with bowing to (dirty) ground), forbidden foods, examination of conscience, confessing sins.

My mentality wants eternal salvation for every sentient being regardless of his/her/its sins or faith. It also considers punishing by torment or annihilation something extremely immoral and evil. It is extreme wishful thinking which is in opposition to books considered holy by followers of Abrahamic religions.

Fact based and neutral response: salat is to be conducted on a piece of cloth like a mat- ideally one reserved solely for the purpose.
Therefore your statement about a dirty ground is incorrect.
Going without is done only in circumstances one hasn't the option or forgot it etc
Carry on, good sir.

People learn through suffering, because hard times produce character whereas good times produced a malaise and content in all the things temporal. People passing away reminds us of how precious life is, and why we should aim for eternity. Suffering and the loss of life are all products of sin. Hence it should draw us closer to God, not away.

We are gold refined by fire, suffering is that fire which produces our purities. Here are some words from Christ himself:

"I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, white garments so that you may be clothed and your shameful nakedness not exposed, and salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. -- Revelation 3:18

We are the light that shines in darkness: suffering is that darkness, and our faith in Him is our light.

4 Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2 Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. 3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5 For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. 6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”[a] made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. -- 2 Corinthins 4:1-6

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. -- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Christianity is ALL about suffering because we're absconding this world for a better one (and so our sorrows are front-loaded), therefor do not fret when people suffer and pass away. Sin is temporal, and we hold on to Christ that he may put death under his feet:

“Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man,
and He will dwell with them.
They will be His people,
and God Himself will be with them as their God.b
4‘He will wipe away every tear from their eyes,’c
and there will be no more death
or mourning or crying or pain,
for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:3-4

"And the One seated on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Then He said, “Write this down, for these words are faithful and true.” 6And He told me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give freely from the spring of the water of life. 7The one who overcomes will inherit all things, and I will be his God, and he will be My son. Revelation 21:5-7

This nonsense again...



Which is why Christianity is horrible. It devalues humanity and life, and teaches people to waste their entire lives chasing after a fictitious afterlife that will never come instead of making the most of the time they have.

And any god that needs to rely on inflicting suffering on others to achieve his goals is a pretty sh!tty god.

Thanks for all of your support. Tomorrow is my uncle's funeral. Plus, today I just found out that my former student's mom just signed him up for distance learning. I am horrified at this because I worked many tireless hours this past spring just barely getting him through it. I created plans and made lists of all his assignments as well as making sure he was present for his google meets which he usually had no idea about. He also had many internet issues daily which meant that I had to contact several people to have this fixed and he was banging his head and yelling sometimes because of it. I get he's nervous about going to middle school and some parents are nervous about sending kids back wearing masks but for a kid with depression who has these fears the worst thing you can do is let them hide behind the screen that only sometimes works. Let's also not forget the fact that he won't actually be able to do any of the work without 1:1 support. There's no 1:1 support for gen ed kids in middle school even if they have a 504 plan. OMG! I'm so sorry to vent but it's just this mother is doing a lot of horrible things by making her kid do distance learning this year. We got him through it. By we, I mostly mean ME. His mother was at work all day, the teacher only talked to him during meets though she was supportive, and all the other staff didn't get ahold of him. It was just me. I won't be there this year. I plan to return to full in person school as I think we all should. I'm cringing just imagining the stress he's going to be under and he's already low academically. This is literally the stupidest thing I ever heard! Parents being allowed to let their kids stay home, play video games, lay on the couch all day, and do a little bit of schoolwork when they feel like it.
Before anyone says it, I am not completely against homeschooling. My mother's friend homeschooled all of her children until high school. The difference is she has a college degree and she made it like school. The kids were up, dressed, and ready to learn by 9AM. They stopped at 12 for approximately 1 hour to eat lunch, clean up, and have some time to play on her daughter's very expensive swing set which was donated to the family. Then it was back to school until approximately 3. Plus the kids did community art classes, learned languages, and took advanced chemistry. Where are they now you ask? One is a nun and another is a brother in a church. There are 7 all together and they are all remarkable people. So no, my issue is not with homeschooling. My issue is that these parents know they have to go to work and can't stay home all day to do school with their kids and yet they sign them up for just that very program and all on the pretense of "my kid can't wear a mask all day". Well I have news, I don't really wanna wear a mask all day either. It makes my eyes watery and it's hard to breathe. One day last week I went into 2 nearby stores and had the mask on for over an hour on a very hot day. I took it off to eat lunch at BK and then walked home with the sun beating down on me maybe 1 mile if that. When I came home and sat down, I had a slight tension headache from wearing the mask and not breathing as good as I do without one. I sat at my table and massaged my forehead for about an hour while I took care of some other business until it went away. So yeah, I hate masks too and having a headache is no fun, but we all have to wear them if we want to get back to society and see our friends and loved ones. It's just part of life. We can't run from this forever. COVID isn't going anywhere anytime soon since it's a disease but children need to see each other and know other kids are their friends. They also need to see teachers and mentors during to the day to know that these adults are caring for them and keeping them safe from harm. Staying at home with a teenager all day who doesn't help isn't reassuring for the children. Sorry for the rant and rave but this just makes me extremely angry.

Aside from noting that you are a caring teacher and sincere, caring teachers always seem to suffer

(noted with my son's best teacher who always looked on verge of tears despite speaking positively and with cheerfulness simultaneously--

as she did everything above and beyond what she was supposed to

or what any teacher of his has done since
Though the current one is good

It is too long a list of the type of things she did for her students
to put here and irrelevant really..


and made his school year a joy and a true learning experience and the year he made the most progress and looked forward to school
But as i said always looked like she was blinking away tears and about to cry)

Agree on all points regarding covid19 including the anger. Sensible
But wondering how this consuming justifiable anger can be helped

i.e. what would a therapist say?

Having many angry dreams these days which includes yelling and trying to get the world to work together n stop fighting/bombing/undermining/etc for everyone's KIDS' sakes.

Thanks for the support. I just don't understand why I care so much about this one student. I know it isn't really my business how he learns in the fall but I want to become his mentor and I know that feeding his anxieties and letting him stay home from middle school is a bad idea. Now, if all the kids do distance learning, that's different. But, if most of the kids are back in school like they are saying and he stays home, it is just a fact that he will fall behind socially, emotionally, and academically. Plus he already hasn't been to school since March, how do you think he will behave when he goes back next year, a year behind most of his peers? Those thoughts make me sick to my stomach.

sorry. cannot imagine being a teacher and especially in that case.
i wouldn't have thought like that but it makes sense.

no need to read below , i just try to relate it to understand your feelings.

no need to respond im just putting it in context of what i know to understand. did not know this spoiler thing existed to hide text- otherwise would have made use of it everywhere.

Miracles are indeed real. By any medical standard I should not be here writing this. The doctors and surgeons who did all that they could had no explanation for my surviving calling it "Divine Intervention". My faith in God has always been deep, but have no time or interest in organized religion. Miracles can be big or small, but the occur all the time. All one has to do is to be open to seeing them.

No I understand and I thank you for your support and understanding. These feelings along with the passing of my uncle are just feelings that I need to find ways to sort out. It's just been a difficult few months and I just wish we could all go back to school like we used to so that I can feel that sense of normalcy that I enjoyed. Even if we do go back which is highly likely, with masks, social distancing and the fact that so many kiddos will still be home and not with us, it's not going to feel normal.

....losing my religion.