So far this year has been disappointing

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So far this year has been disappointing for me on so many levels. It started off with someone trying to exploit me, I didn’t even get an interview for the job I applied for or even a reply just to tell me they wouldn’t even do that, the speed dating event keeps getting postponed, and trying online dating again has been unsuccessful for me. I really don’t know what I should do with myself. I feel both hopeless and helpless.

Do you have any spaces to socialize? Discord can be a good place at times. Even if it doesn't advance your dating life being social helps maintain the skills that make getting to know people and leave good impressions more possible.

I kind of regret letting myself regress in that regard.

My laptop is painfully slow so that’s partly why I don’t have Discord. I’ve been indecisive about getting a new laptop or getting a PC for the first time in 6 years.

I sometimes talk to my friends who work at local comic book stores, one in my city and the other in Killeen.

How has the majority of your family reacted, in particular to the speed dating event
being postponed yet again?

Only my younger brother and sister-in-law know that it’s been postponed for the third time. They told me they were sorry it happened.

2020 sucked! (the suk started Nov 2019 actually)

But I also have had the exponential s**tshow of Spring 2020 stretch to Spring 2021. Feel your pain!

On another note maybe we can go have coffee when I move to Temple or Belton next year. ^_^
( I was originally planning to move end 2020...... meh)

Why has the dating event been postponed 3 times now? Is it bc they’re friggin scared of COVID spread or something? I’m so sorry, man. That would infuriate me to no end.

First time was the inclement weather which my state got hit hard by. Second time was to get more people to join. The third time is because this time of year is called “Wedding Season”. People in my area tend to date, marry, and have children early.

Don't give up

Ok, so those things didn't work out ideally.. however:

1. You put yourself out there in an online chat/video dating situation. Yes, it turned out to be a scam/exploitation thing, but you still took the steps of trying to communicate with someone in a dating sense. That's one for the win column.

2. You didn't get an interview or the job, But, you applied for something you were interested in - that's also forward progress. People often apply for many jobs before they get a response/interview/job offer. And it may not even be because you weren't qualified, it may just be because someone else was More qualified. That's life. I recently hired a couple people because they were the best candidates for the jobs, but there were two more that I wish I had the budget to Also hire right now because they'd be good fits, too.. but I had to go with the two most ideal candidates for the business' needs in the moment. Just like sales, you have to get through several No's before you get a Yes - at least you took the steps to apply for the job at all! Do that again & again every time something comes up that you might want to do. Eventually something will click and you'll get an interview, and eventually a different job offer.

3. Speed dating postponed = beyond your control. Again, at least you registered for it and are willing to try something new.

4. Trying online dating again without success.. ok, sure, you didn't get a date/partner, but at least you're trying it again! Learn from the experience and keep trying, try different approaches, different communication styles.. eventually dial it in and figure out what works for you and you'll eventually get a better result.

What you should do is recognize that there are small victories in making these efforts, and that you should continue down the path of making them.. learning from each failure and progressing, trying again and again until you start getting the results you want. No one ever achieved anything or got the results they wanted by quitting because of rejection or a setback.

Om Nom hugs

We want you to find happiness and to let you know that you have friends here on WP!

This is normal. Almost no one who isn't being called for an interview gets contacted for any job, ever. Sometimes there are only a few applicants, others there are dozens or hundreds. People hiring are hiring because there's too much work to do and need another pair of hands - they don't have time to contact everyone that applies to inform them they won't be interviewing them. Same for after an interview, typically only those being hired or leading candidates will be contacted. Besides being a waste of time that they don't have, people hiring don't want to spend their day contacting people with bad news. "Hey, thanks for applying - no job here for you at this time!" No one wants to do that, so, the norm is simply that only those being contacted for an interview, being advanced in the hiring process, or being hired are contacted.

1. I suppose I can chalk it up to a learning experience as well. The lady wanted to Skype and I told her I had to re-download it on my computer but it was maybe 30 minutes or so before she gave me her Skype name to actually talk to her. When we finally chatted, she mentioned being a teacher and I wonder if I should’ve taken that as a red flag since I imagine a teacher would get in major trouble for doing something like she had planned on doing unless she kept it a very close secret. Her face appeared on the video but she said her mic wasn’t working and there was a brief blackout in the video before she appeared again so maybe those two things were more red flags?

2. I guess I banked too much on my library experience as well as how long I’ve been at the one I work at. I have a friend who hasn’t had a job for a long time partly because he has an arrest record for accidentally selling a beer to a minor (It was a sting operation) but he also said would stay at one job for a short time before moving on to another which apparently makes employers feel weary about him so I thought having only one job and having stayed at it for over a decade would help me score the deal so to say. The person the city (Not the library itself. They don’t get to choose.) went with had a degree in library sciences. I still do like going to that library and the workers told me they were sorry I couldn’t get to join them.

3. The first time was because the bad inclement weather was coming in and it hit my state particularly hard. Second time was because the host wanted more people. The third and latest time was due to “Wedding Season” but I have a glimpse of hope for the summer since the host said it’s likely it will take place at that time.

4. Not sure what I can reply with here.

When I was younger I'd always ask people to make some sort of unique hand gesture or to say something or to write something on a piece of paper if the context means it would matter if they were fake.

I am honestly thinking of suicide again and my younger brother who would normally talk me out of it I can’t reach out to right now.