Met my former bully at Target today

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I was shopping at Target until someone called my name loudly across the aisle and when I looked to see who it was it was my former bully!! When I say former bully let me add context. This guy was a Syrian kid who went to school with me my entire life. And I mean my entire life. He was a star football athlete, basketball player, impressive with the women and the most popular kid in my grade. We are in the same class since Preschool. He knew I had Aspergers, plus I was different than most people, so from preschool up until leaving high school he used to always bully me, call me names, we got into so many fist fights both him and I have actually been hospitalized before ! !! (so even though I would brag that im stronger than him owing to my martial arts training the truth is we were actually even in strength. He was taller than me but I was more trained than him so when we fought it went either way). The fights were brutal, the gossip prolific, rumors he spread about me nasty, and his need to malignantly harass me a compulsion. He made school for me a hell.

Just today he saw me at Target while shopping and called my name. When I saw him I clenched my fists as if preparing for another fight, but then when he smiled and said "how are you doing" it disarmed and I eased up. He talked with me and shook my hands and was friendly to me, which felt weird. He asked me to even attend and hang out at his party for Eid today and I was so taken aback I was speechless

I dont know what to do. It feels weird that someone who was this mean to me in school all of a sudden would now be friendly and nice to me and even invite me to his Eid party.

Do I accept the offer or is it a ruse? Do I accept his new demeanor as him turning over a new leaf or hold a grudge against him for how he used to be?

I have no idea. I experienced a similar thing also. It seems unlikely that he still wants to bully you after years. I think if you don't want to, just make an excuse to not go. You don't have to forgive him or act like nothing happened just because he is acting like that.

Eid Mubarak, salad.

How long ago was the bullying? It sounds like perhaps he's grown up and moved away from that bully mindset, and wants to let bygones be bygones. I would hope / expect that he's sincere and that it was a genuine gesture of goodwill. I try not to think the worst of people especially when it will be a social situation on an important holy day.

What did your gut tell you? Instincts?

I hope you can stay in touch whether or not you go to the party.

I would be shocked if even one of the people who used to bully me suddenly showed up and acted in a friendly manner toward me ... especially since most of them are now dead.

It sounds like he has just matured. I'd say go to his party thing.

Honestly, I would not be interested in attending the party of someone that bullied me like that. Even if they did grow up, there would still be a trust issue (then again, I have tons of those).

I would simply state that I have other things to do and cannot attend the party (or if you really cannot lie, then just state that you are not interested) but that we should keep in touch. If they are genuine, they should understand what you said. If not, well no great loss.

I honestly would not go to his party.

I had some bullies in school (never at this level tho) and tbh I would just not feel comfortable talking to them now.

Mostly it’s not worth it to me.

I'd go to the party just to see how sincere he is.

You didn't say that he apologized or expressed contrition for his past repugnant behaviour, so that (to me) is a big red flag. STAY AWAY.

Do you know out of all the kids I was in school with, the only friend I have from school who bothers with me and will call in maybe once every other year to see me is the one who used to bully me in school in certain years. He really bullied me for the first few years in school, and later we bacame friends, and in secondary school he turned on me again and though later we became friwnds again, we dare not tell our parents as they had a dissagreement over it as his Mum would not accept he (And another friend) had set upon me this one time.
But anyway.. After school and we had little contact, and both of us had grown up and matured (Uhmm. Am I mature? ), we are friendly again.
I only see him now and then. Not often. Maybe every other year? But no one else I was in school with keeps in touch like he does. I am quite touched.