Rants

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The human race should burn down and die.

Not really a rant, just saying how I'm feeling right now.

I am in a dark place. A dark, lonely, desolate place. It is cold, gloomy and lonely. The sky is constantly grey but no rain. The temperature is cold, and it is foggy. There is some light, but that is coming from a corner that leads to the minds of all the happy people around me, but this dark, damp, lonely, desolate place has me trapped and I can't escape. All I can do is look through the gap into the happy world. In the happy world there's motivation, socialising, friends, money, fitness, normality, laughter, happiness. But this horrible place I'm in right now won't let me go from its claws. It is keeping me here. Hopefully it will let me free tomorrow but right now I'm trapped. I want to be back in the happy place with all the happy-go-lucky neurotypicals that are able to make friends, go clubbing, go to the gym, work 60-80 hours a week and not be mentally exhausted.

I hate myself.

I feel like crying i am so exhausted from trying to please everyone. I can't ever take a break in this house i am always being triggered by something. I hate this house especially when there is more than 6 people in such a small place. I was even scared that my tics will come back because of how anxious i was. I feel like i am losing my control.

Thanks to about less than flipping half of my state being vaccinated, we’re starting to go back to flipping masks. Cmon people!

the virus was almost contained, then some "football tourists" brought it back from a neighbouring country.

Not having a good day, and the week before was hell.

I have been looking forward to my cousin's graduation party for a month, but it probably won't happen because of my aunt's stupid big dog. My aunt is taking a trip to God knows where, but can't bring her dog because he bit two people, including my stepdad. He's not rabid, but he couldn't come regardless. As a result, my mom has to spend a whole week at her house, and is scared that the dog is going to bite her.

I really wanted to go to this party, but my aunt won't be home until this afternoon, meaning that it's likely I can't go after all. My stepdad isn't going, and I can't drive because I am afraid to, due to my ex driving like a maniac and getting into multiple accidents; I'm scared I might do the same, especially by accident.

And now my bird is holding me hostage, because he won't be quiet unless he sees a person, and I am the only one in this house right now. I know my late step-uncle means well, but sinced the bird was willed to us, we can't get rid of him. So I am spending most of my time in my parents' room, because it's adjacent to the bird cage. I swear to God, this bird acts like f***ing Caillou (Caillou is a fictional character who throws tantrums on a daily basis) and squawks 90% of the time, and doesn't speak much except for "Ackarak".

So yeah, that's why my week sucked. I can't wait to go to Pennsylvania (for a family reunion) next weekend, so I won't have to deal with the stupidity of other people in my life!

Been watching this guys content and I feel like I jumped into the deep end of the pool and don't know how to swim.

Dear me:

Go the **** to sleep, you ****ing ****. Now.

the idea that you can change yourself

all that gas, if only that could be used usefully

ofcourse, letting happen is always your fault
abusing weaknesses is never the abusers thing, you just asked for it

& there's always duality in everything,
but how many time do you give up everything
i was often suggested to suicide but that's where i refuse,
that's what you get from that, pretention little b

a horse is a horse ofcourse

autoplay into "i show em who'se the brains of this outfit"
- quote of the day

I hate Google and YouTube. Google is full of useless outdated information or it comes up with the results you aren't looking for. YouTube has become a money grabbing zone where they outsmart you in watching their sh***y ads because they panic when you have found a way to bypass their ads so you don't have to watch them. And the only way you might not have to watch ads is if you pay for the YouTube app, which I bet doesn't take away the ads completely, and they'd probably keep rising the fee every few months.

I feel like punching the people in the ads that appear on YouTube. Especially where there's a beautiful woman with a really strong American accent. And that's another thing - beautiful women. I hate beautiful women that make YouTube videos! You search for an ASMR video of someone making noises with objects (like scraping and stuff), but it usually turns out to be a 20-year-old girl with absolutely perfect hair, thick makeup and long, painted nails, staring at the camera wearing almost nothing and making sure they get their half-exposed tits in the camera. Yuk! And then those videos get f*****g age restricted! Just dress with dignity and do your video, not every viewer is a horny man, a lot of us are straight women that just want to listen and watch the ASMR. And don't whisper for f**k sake! One time I wanted to fall asleep to interesting facts in videos that last longer than 30 minutes, and all what came up were videos of some girl whispering the facts. I hate whispering! Argghh! I'd just love to appear in their video and punch them.

I hate how abusive, unacceptable behavior is tolerated by people as long as they can get something in return. Everybody's out for themselves. We've the capability to be a moral, just society but almost nobody seems to try to live up to that potential. This species is bloody disgraceful.