My final decision

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We need more intelligent people in the world, not less.

The way I see it, the longer I stay alive, the more people I piss orf, and that is a positive thing, imo.

I understand the importance of a good job, but not having a significant other in life isn't the end of the world, for most people.
It is only evolutionary biology and social conditioning that puts it on a pedestal.
The whole idea of settling down and having a "Stepford family" is hilarious to me.
"To what end?"

For me, people are too difficult.
I much prefer the single, less complicated life with very few compromises and fewer obligations.

You are an intelligent guy.
Presumably, you looked into declaring yourself bankrupt?

Are the $170,000 university fees?
Can bankruptcy apply to this?
Probably not.

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Strangers on the wrong planet are not (usually) your prospective employers or prospective dates. Strangers on wrong planet are not telepathic and can't read someone elses minds. There could be many reasons why someone won't hire or marry you. Your post does not contain enough information to answer your question of why nobody will hire or marry you. Companies could hire anyone they want. They don't have to only hire the most technically competent. Companies could do anything they want, legal or illegal. Unless you win a civil lawsuit you can't do anything about it. The company might have correctly or wrongly thought you did not have the technical skills or social skills necessary. Or maybe you were great but someone else was better. That is not discrimination. Not everyone is attracted to the same thing romantically. Your appearance, personality, financial situation, and other factors affect your marriage prospects. Just because nobody wants to date or hire you, doesn't mean that you are an inferior person

Bankruptcy doesn’t cover student loans.

That would've mattered if it happened a decade earlier. But it's too late for it to make a difference now. A masters degree doesn't make me any less alone.

It's student loan debt, which won't go away even if I file for bankruptcy. I don't know how things work in Australia, but we have a huge student debt crisis over here.

I wish I knew why.

Sure, nobody owes it to me to date me or give a decent job. But so what?! Nobody else is entitled to that either. The difference is that they aren't f*****g losers.

I'll always be alone and always be too broke to travel or do own anything nice. I'll probably just end homeless all over again. Why the he'll would anybody want to live like that?! What's the point to busting my back day in and day out at a job I hate just to make barely enough to technically stay alive another month, why I have nothing to make my life worthwhile?!

One way or the other, I'm still going to die in the end regardless. The way I see it: either I can continue to wallow in misery for years while entropy slowly eats away at me, or I can end it all now on my own terms. I know which choice I prefer.

And just like I'm not entitled to a family or a career, none of those motherf***ers are entitled to my continued existence either.

At the end of the day if you've made your choice there's very little anyone can say to help.

You sound very angry and despondent and I'm sure with good reason.

I've had a very difficult life as well and I understand the dark places the mind can take us to.

I really think it's up to each of us to want to live and find a purpose in it. For me it's spirituality. I know that's not the case for everyone but in my experience when I tap into something greater than my own feelings/needs I feel more at peace.

Also, when you really look deeply into spiritually, you start to realise that you have a peaceful centre that goes beyond all those troublesome thoughts. Some people call it mindfulness. It's become a bit of a coined term but it honestly helps. Over time you get more space from your thoughts and you realise you have a choice which you pay attention to and this in turn helps shape the future into what you want.

If you're determined your future will be negative then the chances are that's what you'll get. I know how annoying this sort of statement can be, but there is truth in it. I've started to realise how much my own negativity is keeping me trapped in a state of being. I've had to WANT to embrace my life and change it for the better. As I said, spirituality helps.

Maybe look into Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle, Michael Singer, and see what you think.

Your thoughts may immediately start rejecting them but give them a try. There might be a sparkle of recognition of the truth there.

I truly wish you well in what you decide.

$170,000 is a *massive* amount. I'm surprised it is all university fees.

Here in Australia, you don't have to start paying off the loan until you make a certain amount of income.
I'm sure you looked into this in Ammuuuria.

But it seems your loneliness is your overwhelming concern.

It won't go away, but you can keep your payments at an affordably low level by applying for an income-based repayment plan and renewing the plan every year.

They will go away if I die.

I stay alive because of my K9 kids.
After they are gone, "all bets are off."
Isn't there anything worth living for in your life?

If your parents are still alive, wouldn't it be better to choof off *after* they go?
You would be saving them a lot of grief that way.

You're needed. You have a rare grasp of truth that is seriously lacking in this world. You know that white privilege is real and also notice that some people are going crazy about it... which means you have truth that others don't have.

THAT is perhaps more important than anything else you could ever wish for.

I had a more detailed reply but it kept glitching when I tried to post it. Weird.

I'm sorry that life hasn't afforded you the opportunity to indulge your romantic desires, and lead an existence that you find fulfilling and meaningful.

As sad as it is, I understand why you've made the decision you've made, and I don't blame you. May you find some sort of contentment, one way or another.