Hit someone at work today

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I'm likely paranoid and need to talk to a therapist. Was having a good morning, calmly working, was friendly saying "hi" to a female coworker who I think I had cussed at the previous week, then she went out of sight and I hear people howl with laughter all around. Did she say to everyone that she thinks I'm gay? Now I start thinking of how cruel that was and I get unable to work due to being overwhelmed and I can swear that people are saying "not again, we can't have him here if he keeps doing this". I go up to the supervisor and ask to resign, he and everyone else seems all to happy. Is it me or is it because it's break time?

I go off to the clock out area infuriated, and everyone seems to be waiting to call me a freak. Are they actually staring at me and saying stuff or not? I swipe my badge clocked out and try the office door; still locked. A coworker says "special badge" and I punch him in the arm and say "$#&@ YOU, don't call me special badge". But he doesn't laugh, he goes over to a friend for comfort and they talk scared. I feel bad and say sorry. Then a lady swipes her badge for me to enter the office, I thank her and enter the office.

Here when I try to resign, I'm asked to sit down and I'm convinced that nobody has said anything bad about me, it's all in my head, I do good work, they like me working here, and they want me to stay. However I should not have hit anyone and they will have to look into it and get back to me on whether or not I can keep the job; I'm told that I can take the rest of the day off, and I say that I'm regretting this already and will think about this for the rest of the day and probably the rest of the week.

Yeah if i were you id see the therapist

Thank you klanka. I have a counseling appointment tomorrow to discuss coping strategies and I'm calling and talking to supportive friends and family and practicing self care. When returning to work I will ask a supervisor for help apologizing to the person that I hit.

^ That's excellent!

I hope you're okay.

Thank you where_am_i, although I'm the one to blame for acting out. I need to apologize

You have to monitor yourself when you get in this state. Otherwise, you will keep losing jobs.

You really shouldn’t have punched that guy. Even if he actually insulted you to your face, you shouldn’t have punched him. I’m sure you know that.

You should work on this with a therapist.

Get a telecommuting job

It's good that you seem to be thinking clearly now

@kraftie
I discussed some coping methods with a counselor; deep breathing and rethinking the situation logically, perhaps taking a short break, or thinking of some happy thoughts - trials, this seems to be one of those things that every Aspie must overcome in their lifetime.

@short
Telecommunications?
I never worked one of those, and it would be very different from the loud, noisy warehouses that I've frequented.
Is this like a call center? What are the qualifications? I can apply on Indeed if it's a good fit. What can you tell me about this work? Have you worked in telecomms?

@klanka
It's all I can do is keep moving forward. There's a bottomless abyss in the heart of man and I don't want to fall down it.

It means working from home.

It's possible that you are being paranoid but it's also quite possible that your coworkers are making fun of you behind your back. In my experience when I sensed some negative vibes from others, my suspicions always roved proved to be right. So I don't blame you for feeling laughed at and "paranoid". However, showing aggression is a bad idea. If you can't control your anger, yes, you should see a therapist (though most therapists are useless).

How I deal with such a problem is to keep a record of any incident (coworkers being passive aggressive etc) with date and time, however minor, and accumulate the incidents. When something more major happens, your records of minor incidents will serve as evidence.

Edit: wrong word fixed

Last edited by temp1234 on 18 Jul 2022, 6:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

Right.

But don’t punch anybody, period. This must be an absolute.

Keep the records.

_____________________

Records are better than nothing, but the authorities could still claim that you faked them

Video tape even better. (Physical evidence)

Really sorry this happened and yes, I think you should get some counselling asap as based upon my own experience it sounds a little like you might be coming off your rails.

Take care and I hope you feel better very soon.

Keep a record of every time I feel that I'm being laughed at, both date and time, and a description. If I feel like I'm being laughed at, it's probably true; others say that it's all in my head no matter how obvious it seems that I really am being laughed at - most likely people lying to me to make me feel better /white lie. This is why I cannot simply be fine with believing that it's all in my head, because it probably is not. One person said that it probably isn't the right work environment for me; more pessimistic persons say that it will be like that no matter where I go. Everyone says something different. However, I like what you said temp. It's quite possible that it's 50/50 - part of it really is imagined paranoia and part of it really is being made fun of for being different. Secondly, there really are better work environments for me despite what pessimists say, the people who have given up hope that things can change.

@kraftie
Loud and clear. Punch nobody even if their name is nobody, take this more seriously, and keep records of all incidents.

@bungle
Off the rails, I agree. Feeling like a misfit 24/7 eventually gets to you. Next counseling is on Friday at 11pm; secondly, Kate Bush is playing on Alexa. Stranger Things was an awesome show. "Keep running up that road, keep runnin up that hill..."

I think you need to see a therapist to get help with this. Hitting another person is never a good idea, for any reason.