What, Is Wrong With Me?

Post Reply New Topic

I cannot think. I am suspended in a state of awareness but I cannot hear my thoughts.

I am officially diagnosed Aspergers.

I have no mental health issues.

Follow me here, THIS is how this problem started, and I hope a fellow aspie can help.

A long time ago, I was able to hear my conscious thoughts. Not hear, with my ears, but with the mind. I believe it was called the conscious thought. I was obsessed with getting my thoughts to stop. To make myself forget how to think.

It was just an experiment, but it has turned out to be a disaster. I cannot remember how I did this, but I am, simply unable anymore to think.

The problem isnt inability, but rather I cannot {keyword here} REMEMBER how to think, and by how to think, I mean, activate my conscious concerning Anything.

Maybe, in laymans {wonder what that expression means} terms, I am confused about my thoughts.

This causes extreme stress and wears and weakens my mind.

Here is an example:
I silently think { what does the phrase laymans term mean}

I try to activate, use, my conscious mind and is the {great, so personal but this what happens} resulting thought:

It doesnt make sense

It means Im a layman, and this is my term

Thats the end of my example but the thought is delayed, by several minutes and I cannot its just so confusing.

The only time I can truly think is at night, when Im in bed and the world around me quiets.

Like, the heater turned on and I try to think conscioully and "its the same" is what I hear.

Are all thoughts supposed to be little incoherant snippets? Because thats all I get.

Is this just a symptom of my Aspergers?

Thinking that, it kind of makes sense. Feels like I cut through some of the confusion just now.

{also, hello I'm offa1996 im new and my text correction keeps suggesting offal which is a type of canned meat in case you didnt know, i found that funny so i thought id share that}

I can't sustain a linear thought for more than a few seconds max.
I have really severe ADHD and synaesthesia, so everything is sensory or stream of consciousness.
I can think about a topic (like answering this question) but only in spurts.
I've thought of 50 tangential things at the same time.

My brain is a mind map rather than a straight line.

*I'm diagnosed ASD2 but I don't know if that's the reason, or my ADHD.

Isabella thanks for replying.

I realized last night that of my thought, since nothing could be damaged in there, the little snippets I get I guess is all I'm gonna get.

I really, really appreciate you sharing your struggle. It makes it easier.

Feels like I'm a horse, and someone took of my yoke.

Yeah, I had an aquaintance with really severe ADHD. His speech was always very rapid. It was very, very unique to him and everybody loved him because he was funny, different, and cool.
Really enjoyed his company, that one.

My speech isn't rapid at all.
I tend to go mute, likely because I can't speak as quickly as my mind.
When I do speak I go off topic but it's at a normal rate.

As long as you don’t harm yourself or others, there’s probably nothing “wrong” with you.

Do you have something which interests or delights you?

Maybe you "hear" your thoughts when they are verbal, but you don't "hear" them when they are non-verbal? Or you had an inner monologue, which you don't have now. It's not really necessary to have an inner monologue. I think an inner monologue can limit the potential of your mind, because it's limited by the limits of words.

Yes, sir; I like medievalism, video games, photography, etc.

It's funny you asked since dusk to dawn I'm a purely pleasure. I've been blessed to where I can feel pleasure at even the slightest thing and am happy.

Kraftie, I realized the way to think is that, the thoughts you think are well at least they come to me in sort of snippets. I just got to learn to accept that I suppose.

And no, I'm not unstable or at the point of harming others.

Have you ever had problems with your thoughts?

The vast majority of the time (from my subjective standpoint), my thoughts are coherent.

There are times, though, when, via my undiagnosed ADHD, that my thoughts aren’t thorough and deep.

Mine are deep despite being scattered in every direction.

They'll eventually go back to the original intention, but only after 50 simultaneous thoughts which may or may not be connected to it. They're usually connected in some way, like the colour of a word will remind me of a letter of the alphabet which will remind me of song which will remind me of a feeling ... but other people are always really confused.

I often hear "What made you think of THAT??! !" no matter what I say.
It's one of my pet peeves because these people know I don't think sequentially like they do.

You may have hit your head at some point. It can cause loss of the inner voice. (Aphantasia/Anauralia)