CapedOwl wrote:
Here's my rant. The greeks have a great saying: "The People Make the Town". So true. Everyone speaks of high-minded idealism (and the ideology they subscribe to is sometimes easy to identify, once you hear the keywords from the "loaded language", which said ideologies employ). Despite all this idealism, look at their actual behavior. How do they live their lives? Look at their morality - especially behind closed doors, or in private. Their actions speak louder than words.
It turns out my Autism is highly optimized, and highly streamlined to deal with - albeit ungracefully - the actual people who make up said town. My Autism is an optimized means of avoidance. Avoidance of what? Avoidance of a cacophony of social gong shows (once the consequences eventually come around), which all the NT people around me cleverly pull off, with a high degree of social grace and over-confidence that they know exactly what they're doing, thank you very much.
You also have a greatly developed sense for justice and despise hypocrisy as much as I and many of us do maestro! Nice, I often get similar bursts of anguish/anger when seeing it displayed by our non-disabled NT peers... I used to think "No, Kada, you're being to extreme, they probably are just having an bad day or a moment of distraction, ..."
But after walking this planet for some time, and seeing the behaviors of our NT-peers, I found my 'patience' recoiling. My approach to dealing with this was to 'hit the book' and learn as much as I possibly could about neurology and our minds.
What I learned and I would be very interested to hear your thought on this, is that our NT-peers (and some ND peers) have a build in "blind- or muted- spot" as their limbic system auto dampens and pushes them from self-reflection and evaluation in this area, even more, when pushed their minds will supplies them with 'justifications'

This dampened my 'anger' a bit, as I had now a 'context' to frame the behaviors with. But... and taking the "he without sin cast the first stone" -idiom seriously, I made damn sure my actions were above reproach by their ideology (as much as possible)and now I know I am in "a position of power" as I now allow myself to judge an action (never a person) as hypocritical, wrong or ... this made me much less angry and much more content, perhaps as you stated it gave me the means and clearness of mind to be able to "avoid" or when required to "act". Even my NT-kids see the utility in that approach.

kind regards,
Kada