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What’s on your mind? The Haven version.

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blitzkrieg
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22 Jun 2025, 7:08 am

funeralxempire wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
I feel really mean when telling the truth sometimes, but there are instances where you just have to be honest and have to try to wake a person up from their delusions.


Understandable. My inner people-pleaser s**ts the bed sometimes when I'm being honest and blunt with someone on something that might hurt their feelings but needs to be said.

So I lock 'im in a box and try to ignore the freak out.


Yeah, this.

It is a conflicting feeling sometimes, being honest/blunt.



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22 Jun 2025, 7:13 am

I'm way too polite and lenient all the time, which is why I couldn't take a supervising job or any other job that requires an authoritative role. I think it's because I hate being told what to do, so I don't like telling others what to do.


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kadanuumuu
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23 Jun 2025, 7:31 am

Tamaya wrote:
I'm way too polite and lenient all the time, which is why I couldn't take a supervising job or any other job that requires an authoritative role. I think it's because I hate being told what to do, so I don't like telling others what to do.


Maestra Tamaya, I feel you in this post! I'm fully in the same position as you here. I hate having to be the one who tells adult peers what to do! (exceptions are made for the kids :) )



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23 Jun 2025, 8:17 am

kadanuumuu wrote:
Tamaya wrote:
I'm way too polite and lenient all the time, which is why I couldn't take a supervising job or any other job that requires an authoritative role. I think it's because I hate being told what to do, so I don't like telling others what to do.


Maestra Tamaya, I feel you in this post! I'm fully in the same position as you here. I hate having to be the one who tells adult peers what to do! (exceptions are made for the kids :) )


Yeah, I mean I thought AS meant we're supposed to be blunt and honest, but I'm not lol. Well, I'm honest enough to be loyal and gain trust from others, but I mean I'm not usually honest in the Aspie way. I know when it's appropriate to lie and I don't see all lies as deceiving. Like the other day at work the strict supervisor asked me where another worker was who should have been working with me. I knew she was having an unauthorised coffee break like she always did, but I didn't want her to get into trouble, so I just said I didn't know. If he found her then that was out of my control, but I knew I did right (well, according to unwritten social rules I mean) by not being honest there. Making up a lie like "I think she's doing a task elsewhere" would have been no good, as in these situations it is best to just pretend you don't know. It's a whiter lie than making up something, as that could get us both into trouble or seem less plausible.


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CockneyRebel
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03 Jul 2025, 8:54 am

I have an appointment with the nutritionist today. I'm going to tell her that I've been eating rotisserie chicken sandwiches on rye bread and I only had chips twice over the past 4 weeks. I'm also going to tell her that I've been drinking more water.


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Edna3362
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03 Jul 2025, 12:27 pm

With the way people around me are treating me and what the hell they're doing...

... They just kept validating what's been happening. Of what I already knew.
Over and over. :roll:


Ever since I ascended, I became waaay less reactive. No more stupid emotional detours.
It's subtle, but at least my head won't be spending my entire days with it.


I want to break this stupid cycle.
To make a point as usual.

And it's because it's annoying.
Fricking annoying.




:D You know...
It's way easier to be "mindful" when not being involuntarily swayed by the damnable limbic system and the unnecessary past selves.

Yes, it's a new way for me to function.



Why oh why -- because??
There's no more stupid "trauma multiplier".

No more stupid cycle of mistakes, react, seen, forget, mistakes, react, seen, forget, mistakes, react, seen, forget... :roll:


Well, the mistake is still there.
But how much can I, well, not forget?

But even if there is the lack of forgetting and reacting...

There's still the mistake. Was it seen?

How about "seen"??? Can't I just see it from far away instead of, well, being too myopic?

No stupid trauma cycle, no more stupid habit.
But -- I still have the stupid habit. It just doesn't multiply anymore.


Am still very annoyed by this.


I just want to leave my current bosses before I turned 31.
I want a job that actually matches MY skillset, not skillsets that I can never able to cultivate because my boss is one of those people who expects everyone to be able to multitask like they do.

And what the hell am I, huh? :roll: :roll: :roll:
No amount of years can do that, you damnable fool.


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CockneyRebel
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06 Jul 2025, 7:27 am

I'm not going back to that knitting group at the library. I should have never started going there in the first place. I'll have an extra afternoon a week to get my place more clean and tidy than it usually is.


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rocksteady85
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06 Jul 2025, 5:09 pm

How do you trust people? How do you trust anyone with "secrets"?



funeralxempire
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06 Jul 2025, 8:03 pm

rocksteady85 wrote:
How do you trust people? How do you trust anyone with "secrets"?


At least some of the time, you have no real choice. You're obliged by circumstances to trust others because no other option exists. Like, I have no choice but to trust the people at the restaurant aren't going to put dead bugs and boogers in my food, because they won't allow me to remove them from the process of preparing the food for me at the restaurant.

So far I'd like to imagine this trust has been well-placed.


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