Zero Friends, Exiled from Family –Lost, Drifting, and Forgot

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I don’t know where else to put this, but I need to let it out.

I have no friends. No real connections. And I’ve been cut off or pushed out from my family for so long now that I’ve started forgetting the names of people who were once important in my life. Not out of cruelty — just distance. Time. Trauma. I feel like I’ve drifted so far from where I started that I no longer know how to get back, or even if there’s anything to go back to.

Most days, I’m just floating. Going through the motions. Struggling to remember details that used to matter — birthdays, faces, voices. It’s like my brain is slowly deleting them to protect me, but all it leaves behind is silence and guilt. Sometimes I wonder if anyone I once loved still remembers me, or if I’m just a ghost they stopped believing in.

Being neurodivergent makes it harder. People don’t always understand how I process loss or disconnection. They think I’m cold or distant when really I’m just overwhelmed, or trying to make sense of the grief in my own way. I didn’t choose to be exiled. I didn’t wake up and say “I want to be alone.” I was just… left. Forgotten. Maybe punished for being different. For not playing the part they wanted.

I don’t even know what I’m asking for by writing this. Maybe just to not be invisible today. Maybe to find out if someone else has felt this too — the pain of losing everyone, even in memory. Of being lost and confused, not because of one big event, but because life slowly unraveled and no one noticed you slipping.

If you’ve been through this… if you’re also drifting, also forgotten… I’d like to hear from you. Even if it’s just to say “same.”

– Sable

Hi
You're not invisible here
This is the right place for your post by the way

I understand what you are going through very well. I am also very isolated and even my own family barely knows me. You are not alone

Understand the stuff you are writing about But am many years farther along in my life , Have found often many people have become pretty much self serving.. And I think it maybe because of all the stress and turmoil people are being fed a regular diet of ? that causes them to be more concerned about "What they can do to survive" and often this might show up as not caring ? Sometimes , it might be cause you have grown, and are less easy to manipulate to their own ends?
Very hard to know , whats off in others heads ? But I think We as persons stay in peoples minds , often for a lifetime.
Sometimes, It can be a different kind of personal Growth , to learn to be all on your own. And just sometimes that can take a very longtime . Often it can be those few people ,if any try to stay in touch with others . That have the most real value in life. Other times it is time to put yourself in safe and healthy situations,where you might meet other like minded people. I hope this time in your life passes softly for you . Be kind to you.( just a thought offering) .

You are not invisible maestro.
I know it can feel this way, and for all intents and purposes can feel this way as well.
I myself have struggled with this and have felt the jaws of despair close around me many times.
Whatever I say to you might feel lost and nothing more than a comment on an internet forum, but I guarantee you maestro, there is and end to your tunnel!
A friend of mine who has failed once at ending it all, and has now found a wife and family, tattooed following sentence on his fore-arm: "This too shall pass!" and for you as well. Try and weter the storm maestro. I would very much like to hear from you again

Kind regards,
Kada

Same position here. The Truth isolated me in my case.

Feel free to PM me. We’re friends now.

I moved away from a toxic family. Was married but she passed away decade ago.
I play golf and garden as hobbies. Lots of acquaintances but no close friends.
Could be worse. I retired two years ago and my investments have done well.

With such good memory I could never forget faces, but that was long ago.
I did realise somewhere down line that had chunks of memory missing, apparently for us this is normal, alexthemia may lead to amnesia. Total recall suddenly didn't seem like a movie cause some memories were embedded in music, music hadn't heard for long while.

Forgot all that truly never thought day would come where others recognise me and I don't know who they are, until they tell me and it's like oh, oh.
Always kept touch with my mom, but in the end I'd stare at her like a complete stranger, perhaps just tired of her shiiiiit.

I've got alteimers now, my semantic memory slowly fading before my eyes, forgetting to spell, everything going in one ear, out the other. Sadly, when few memories surface now, I wish them away, perhaps effect of surviving that much flight mode or years of sadness. What did I say the other day, oh yes something about sometimes it's best to forget.
Was only 3years ago that I realised I don't own mirrors, hardly go out. Didn't realise I had first grey hairs, and wrinkles. Oh, boy. It's being so long, that long?
Yes, so out of touch.

I wish you find happiness and someone to cure your alexthemia. That you don't go down my path, where I am dead to the world.

Sweet Pea hugs