my life would be so much less stressful if I cursed..

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I am now, and often get, so *#@%ing frustrated, angry annoyed that my brain just feels like it is exploding, but I just never did in my life pick up the habit of using expletives to express those emotions. Not even when I have accidentally gashed my arms and legs, nor when I cut the tip of one finger off accidentally, nor when I had shotguns stuffed against my nose. I am more likely, under these circumstances, just to roll my eyeballs around and growl, maybe walk calmly outside, or away from the situation and just scream my lungs out, but never the F word, or even the S word. Maybe God Damn, which means nothing to me, but never these curse fests that I see other people indulge or immerse themselves within. How much more simple my life would be, and less stress filled, if I could just let fly, but I know myself well enough at this age to know that if I allowed that disciplinary flaw to manifest it would be just a millisecond of separation from me becoming a violent person and I would have been in prison or dead long, long ago.

How simple and joyful, and free it must feel............

Profanity is overrated man, trust me.

Go outside and scream, it might actually make you feel better, profanity or no. If you can get to a suitably secluded spot where nobody will hear you, you might find you've exercised your need to scream simply by going there.

Thanks, but I am in such a small city, with no transportation, that getting to a spot so secluded that none would hear me is near impossible, and my appearance is such that if anyone were to see or hear me doing so would result in my being tazed or shot rather than any law enforcement officer risking subduing me as a human being. The best I can do as a grown man is sit in solitude and sob in a dark closet corner until it all goes away. This from pure emotional chaos.

No harm in crying man. Releases endorphins I think?

May I ask what it is that's bothering you? I'm sorry there's nowhere you can shout at the sky without being brutalised. My point above was that walking makes me feel better. I don't suppose that going for a stroll will cure you of all ills, but you might feel a little better.

Sorry I can't divulge any more worthwhile advice man, but I feel for you.

Thank you very much just to reply. Its just that here, in this small community, with 4 sisters and my mother within one mile from me, they not only do not respond to my online messages, which is my primary mode of communication, even with them, they wont even pick up their phones, none of them, when I need them. They contact me at their own leisure to see if I need things. Otherwise, I am virtually ignored, or at least feel so. They all know how reclusive I am, and how emotionally fragile.

So for now, since I am being ignored, I have turned off my landline, which is the only type of phone eI have and signed out of every form of online communication method any of them know of, and put a DND sign on my door, turned my lights off and sit here with my ears plugged. Going total isolationist from them rather than risk something I may regret later.

Oh, BTW, we are under wind chill advisory here, discounting the mountains of snow piled around me from this months environmental rages,

In that case, please don't go outside! It would be just my luck to inadvertently cause someone to die of exposure as a result of me trying to be nice to them.

Someone I once knew was a student Mental Health Nurse used to have two favourite factoids for the depressed:

a) Mental illness can be caused by a physiological problem. Eat better, sleep better.

b) Depression can be caused by constipation. Serotonin receptors in the bowel blah blah blah blah blah blah never applied to me so I didn't listen.

Of course, when you're at the worst of your depression, looking after yourself becomes less of a priority. "Eat better and sleep better" seriously, pfffft. It's like saying "cheer up!" to the recently bereaved.

Cursing helps me feel less angry/angst but I do it when I am alone or silently in my head.

Studies have shown that occasional use of profanities can help to release endorphins, resulting in pain-relief. Unfortunately, many people, including myself, don't get this release of endorphins from utilizing profanities, as we just use them so damn much that they just become another f*****g part of our daily vocabularies. f**k the f*****g f*****s.

All immature jokes aside, it can really feel good to just let loose a few f-bombs every once in a while, especially if you don't swear much and you find yourself repressing your urges to. There's nothing really "wrong" about it, aside from the fact that you may offend someone if you utilize profanities in the wrong situations. Swearing at someone usually isn't a good idea, but shouting the occasional one out of frustration when you're all alone? f**k yes! Just don't overdo it, or it'll lose its benefits.

Eh. wot, I understand all that, it's just I am old school, conditioned in my ways from age 5 or so, by what Psychiatrist considers physical/psychological abuse ant-profanity conditioning sessions/therapy by my father at regularly scheduled weekly intervals. Even though at the time none of us used profanity, it was dads way of conditioning against it by making sure the rest of our lives whenever we thought about cussing, the image and sensations of our "therapy" sessions would prevent us from doing so. It worked very effectively on my.

Now, 50 odd years later, many incidents occur in my life that create in my mind such a vile, emotional shutdown that I am virtually worthless in the human world. Being rejected, ignored by people who mean something to me could quite easily transform my personality into something rabid, seething vicious and intimidating. I sometimes go into a state of mind that people who don't know me who are observing would fear for their lives as if I were some slasher from a Halloween fright movie gone bonko. Even my own family members at these times get as far away as possible yet still near enough to observe and hopefully prevent any misfortune. They tell me that in those times my facial expressions, contortions and something about my eyeballs, just raise hackles, goose bumps and shear terror to those watching. I guess that would be the alter part of my DID. I never remember these episodes as a participants, but feel rather like II am tethered down, immobilized, while watching myself from someplace I cant recall. At any rate, I have no physical ability to do anything but observe.

Oi vey what a crusher this rant is at 4;22am,quick up and out of sleep from sedative induced interior eyelid examination session. I wont recognize a syllable of this in 6 hour from now.

Actually, research shows you are correct, and so is the WP member who also posted about this. There is now scientific proof that using an expletive when either physical pain or mental stress is experienced really does lower the stress or pain, releasing the beneficial hormones that help accomplish that.

Check out this article on the subject:
Forbes article on stress relief from use of language

There's a reason why human beings ever began to do this in the first place, and now they know the "brain reason" behind it.

Personally I'm not squeamish about salty language as long as it's not in front of people whom you know would be offended, or around children. Alone is good, and it really does relieve stressful feelings to some degree.

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Eh, yes, but now I have been so conditioned by over 50 years of not using this language, that the simple fact that a few magazine articles are not going to magically remove all that conditioning, if it were that simple we would be able to eradicate all the harm done by the conditioning of young minds to religious nonsense, then we could change the world overnight. But, anyway, ty for you help.

I can understand how hard it is to start doing something you've been strongly conditioned not to do from a young age. That's a lot of going against the grain, I know.

And in that case, trying it might not even produce the same brain chemistry for you, that those research results produced in their test subjects.

Perhaps when you are very, very sure you're alone, you could try a milder word one time during a moment of stress, and see how you feel. If all you feel is not very good about using that word, it's not going to work for you I would think, and would even be counter-productive to stress reduction.

Results of research show amazing insights into things that can work for many or seem to be how many people respond, but there are always exceptions in human diversity.

Not sure if this is helpful, but my Father used to stuff a soapy flannel in my mouth if I used anything approaching a profanity or blasphemy. I've invented my own swear word, and when I want to scream something abusive I say this word. It offends no-one if I say it (? What language is she speaking?!') but it gives me such a sense of release.

I've just had to have words with my daughter because she thought it was perfectly acceptable to call me a c**t.

That word makes me want to vomit.

It's not acceptable in my house at all, that's why we had words.