I got bullied today and feel like I can't take much more

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What do you do when you're 55, you feel like you've been through an awful lot in life that was hard, you had to survive, you're a good person who does the right thing, you're try to be a good thing in your local community ------ and STILL you get no respect, you get discounted, dismissed, treated like s**t?

And even if or when you show that you're not about to just take it lying down, it doesn't matter, it doesn't make any difference? When you don't even roll over and submit, you SHOW by your words and manner that you are not going to be pushed around ---- but they push you around anyway?

Something just happened to me today that is the latest in a long string of incidents and I feel like the last straw has been put on the camel's back.

I feel like I can't take much more of the way things are in my life.

The person who did this today is someone who, lets just say, should actually think of me as a pillar of the community because of what I do to actually help HIM do his JOB.

It's a long story but I've just been treated very badly by an official whose job I actually go out of my way to make easier. I'm among a local community who in fact do a hell of a lot for the particular aspect of local life that this person is in charge of. And he just targeted me for something, and the manner in which he did it was of a type more normally reserved for a scene from "COPS" and reserved for dealing with hardened criminals.

I feel shaken.

I'm about to e-mail a complaint to the body he works for. But I just feel really shaken.

And it's not the only thing that has happened of a similar nature, so, like I say, it feels like a piling on. It's not isolated. Not from his same body of people, I mean just from other people in general, attempts at bullying me and pushing me around.

I have not had thoughts of ending my life for a very long time now, but now I am again. I've had a breakdown of sorts a few years ago, and since then I have gradually felt more of a will to live. I have carved out for myself a path AWAY from thoughts of suicide and into positively wanting to go on living.

It has been the hardest thing I've ever done.

But this and other things that keep happening to me lately' i can't live this life anymore.

There are a hell of lot of things I have forced myself to change in my life to make things better. Nobody knows how HARD I have worked on myself and my circumstances.
i'm a good person.

I@m a good member of society. I'm the person who IS NOT causing problems in my community but instead do a LOT of things to strive to make it better and good. Yet I was treated terribly today by someone in power and he threatened me with prosecution for something there IS no law against; I know because I looked it up.

A supportive friend said to me that everything about me -- and I mean things I can't change, like my height -- makes some people see me as a natural target they can push around. He's over 6ft and built like a linebacker, and nobody ever gives him so much as a sideways look. I'm under 5 ft and he tells me the general crap I get will never stop, people picking on me.

I carry myself with dignity, I try to be normal, I don't INVITE this stuff. And when it does happen, I try to muster every bit of dignity and calmly make it clear they've picked the wrong person. I try to stand up for myself and not let myself down.

It never makes any difference. This man today was younger than me. It felt appalling to be spoken to the way he spoke to me, like I was a sh***y little piece of scum instead of an elder and a good member of my community. I'm a tiny middle aged woman and he was all "hard man" on me.

I can't live like this. I wish I'd never been born into this body or with this mind and spirit. I'm not built for this crap.

I stand my ground, but it still kills me to have to deal with it in the first place. ALL I want in my life is just to be left ALONE. I mind my own business.

I don't hurt anyone. I don't do bad things. But I'm always a target.

That's the reason why you get hurt, because you're not mean enough.

Do you carry weapons with you at all? That might at least make you feel a little more safer.

You might be onto something there, Kovu.

I know some people who seem to make it a policy to look and act like tough, nasty people right upfront before anyone even gets to be those things to them first. It seems to work for them.

I try to look and act neutral, or open to being at least polite and friendly. Big mistake. At least where I live...

I think that may be illegal where I live; but even if I could, it's not so much safety from danger rather than just general people deciding they can be a jerk to me about something, whereas someone else they might have the same problem with, they don't dare stir up trouble with that person.

First, stop "helping him do his job." No announcements, notices or signals that you will stop helping him. Just stop simply and quietly. Force him to ask you why you have stopped helping him.

Second, begin last month by creating a daily diary of a few sentences (or more) describing what happened from day to day. This diary will help you defeat the "rumor mill" claims of everyone around you.

Prepare yourself to talk with your human-resources director. This will probably happen whether you ask to speak with the director or the director asks you. Preparing your rebuttals and counter claims will go a long way to helping you stand your ground.

Lastly, consider what you would ask your employers for in lieu of 1) your resignation, 2) your reporting your treatment to government agencies which deal with discrimination every day, and 3) your lawsuit. Now, realize that none of these things will necessarily happen, so relax. But, you might be pushed into a corner so far that you will have wished you had planned ahead. That is all these suggestions are: just things to think about and have on the back burner "just in case." Getting your ducks in a row is actually quite empowerinng and calming. So, there is a benefit by considering these things.

Meanwhile, good luck with whatever your future choices might be.

I decided to try out a tip that Yippyskippy posted for particular situations... "the resting bytch face" as its known, and I believe its working.

This chap doesnt place much value on your time or energy, what would happen if you stopped helping like AspieUtah suggests?

I'm sorry you went through this crap with that person.

I hope you don't let this man determine how you feel about life; there's lots which is beautiful---especially your birds.

Just think of him as an idiot. That's what I used to do with people who bullied me.

Because of liberals and SJW's, and the Prison System, laws are being made and enforced to restrict hand to hand combat.

Because of all these wimps, it is illegal to duel people anymore. This enables common street bullies to bully you endlessly, because any kind of physical confrontation against them is not allowed. It's really a rigged system. And these same bullies will use the system against you, beat you to a pulp, and then lie on you and say you did it to them.

Perhaps. But, knowing enough about a martial art might give an individual the chance to show off some skills without even touching the offending others ... Mr. Miyagi-style. That alone might cause concern and consternation within the intended audience.

Never advertise your moves to an an opponent before a fight. They will surely analyze you and counter them. Also, with all these wimpy laws everywhere, the bully could just press charges on her and say she "threatened" him.

Sorry this is happening. If you feel like harming yourself and that feeling is not going away, please seek help. Looking at your post, it sounds like you volenteer for an official in the municipality that you live in. Also sounds like he accused you of doing something that required the local law enforcement to get involved, but I could be wrong. I did not get any details regarding your relationship and said official. So how you handle is based on what your relationship is to this person.
If you are volunteering, simply stop and ignore him, do something else there are plenty of opportunities out there.
If this is a work situation, than stop working with him, if possible, I'd say if it continues let him know, email preferably, that it should stop, if it does not contact your immediate supervisor, than contact hr. Make sure to document document document.
If it is a street situation contact local law enforcement regarding the issue.
At no time should you carry a weapon, especially if law enforcement is aware of you and it is illegal in your municipality.
Size matters not to a woman, and looking like a line backer will not help you in this situation.

That idea presumes that laws aren't at least equally as interested in the threatening behaviors of perpetrators. I believe that most perpetrators are pretty sloppy about what they say and do in a criminal encounter.

*hugs*

The law is rigged.. The law will side with a black Muslim guy who tries to murder and rob you, then files a false police report against you and police will not help you when you committed no crime. All because of liberal laws saying they must fill a quota. The laws are biased against anyone who isn't rich. Also because, the police and judges in that town are all black or muslim, biased against anyone who isnt black or muslim.

In addition to all the other ways you have been marginalized in your life, prepare for the concept that you will now also feel ageism and it never gets any easier.

I had to learn how to pivot to a situation where I was supported, not challenged or ignored. It's entirely reasonable to do this. In my case, realizing I would never be taken seriously at work, but in fact was insulted and gossiped about, I retired, started going to a senior center, and withdrew into making my home life satisfying. As a result, I feel fairly even-tempered even on bad days.

You might not be in a position to do this right now, which I understand. But what you can do is stop trying to be taken seriously and with dignity, by people you know will marginalize and bully you. Shift your strategic alliances, and ask people in your sphere for support.

I'm aware I rub you the wrong way and I'm sorry, but I just wanted to validate your experience by sharing my own.

When I see people become suicidal due to a person or event, I want them to ask themselves: Is this shmuck (or this job or other situation) worth dying for? The answer is always NO!