I need help

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I tried to drown myself on friday, and I called a suicide chatline, and they helped. But I want to again today, and the chatline is stuck, I've been third in line for an hour now. I think they took the day off. I don't know what to do because I have no one to talk to. I asked my friend to email my brother to come get the cat if I didn't check in every night, and I forgot to check in and she still didn't email him. She forgot I exist. So did my therapist, that's what's going on. He forgot my session on Tuesday and doesn't seem to care that I'm spinning and don't know how to stop. I just need help climbing through today and then deciding what to do next.

So neither my friend nor my therapist could give two damns if I drowned.

Hi, I don't know what to do other than say hi!
Since I have had cats a lot during my life, and do now, could ask if you have any favorite stories about things your cat does.

He climbs his tree. Sometimes he sleeps on my feet. He'll kiss me once in a while.

Here's Georgie. He never did say who he was calling.

And the older one, Grumman was rescued after being dumped and getting hit on the road. It took a while wiht physical therapy to regain control of his left rear leg. He's doing well.
He's on pain medication.
I'm on pain medication.
Sometimes we take our meds together
Just gotta remember whose is whose!

Thank you kitesandtrainsandcats.

Welcome
I don't know if you are in to reading books about cats but while shopping at Walmart the other day after my disability check came in I got a book by the people who do Chicken Soup for the Soul, it is titled "The cat really did that?"
Some fun stories, some serious stories, some amazing stories.
And one or two people who are autistic like us.

I'm sorry you're feeling abandoned right now. Are you still in line for chat?

Yes, I've been first in line for a ling time now.

I changed my avatar to a picture of my cat, because I don't know how to post photos in a thread.

I could sit and tell stories on my guys for as long as anyone would hang around and listen to me babble!
But I'll do just one.
One day I entered the bedroom to look for the bag for my camera and found this.
I still haven't asked what was going on.

While y'all are chatting I'm going to go nap, had been going through storage containers in the spare room and my body needs a break.
And tell your critter that Grumman and Georgie say Hi!

I enjoyed reading the cat stories.

Fluter, are you in a position to call someone? Are you safe right now?

Ok, when you wake up, you can see my Sammy. I had trouble changing the pixels, so it didn't upload. But now, my avatar is my kitty.

I'm safe now. I liked looking at the pictures, and mostly I'm glad to talk. I'm feeling a little better. I don't know what I'll do about whether I should go back to my therapist or not. But I don't feel so desperate anymore.

You're saying you want to change therapists?

Oh, if you don't mind, could you tell me what happened in the picture you posted? I'm blind and can't see the image. Thanks.

It's a picture of my cat. He's got black hair everywhere except one little white spot underneath his belly. He's looking up at the camera with a cute expression because I'm holding treats in one hand and the camera in another.

I think I shouldn't have a therapist who forgets I exist if I have abandonment issues. It's happened three times in one year that he totally skips the appointment. The second time, he didn't even notice. I can't take the spinning, and the heavy dark hardness in my chest that I feel. The sense that he's not ever going to notice that I'm gone, or not going to care/going to be happy I'm gone.