My friend is homophobic.............

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I was just texting a good friend of mine tonight and he had brought up how his parents have said some anti-gay things so I asked him "are your parents homophobic?". He said yes they are and to my surprise he said that he was too. He then asked me if I was homophobic and that he really hoped I was.

This guy had been a friend for 2 years. I always knew that he and his parents went to church and stuff and as silly as this may sound in hindsight it never occured to me that he would be homophobic.

I'm not going to respond to that last text from him right now. I feel really uneasy because this is someone whom for the last 2 years I could go see a movie or hang out with at their house with, which is something I didn't really have before I met him. I don't really feel comfortable being friends with that type of person. What's gonna happen if someone in our friend group comes out? I also don't want to be friends with someone who someday does anything less than accept a child of theirs who is LGBT.

I never expected people would identify as homophobic.
What would it even mean? Getting unreasonably triggered by "homo"? That's the original meaning of phobia. I'm claustrophobic so I know how it feels.

Is this America again? who identifies themselves as "homophobic"....must have a screw loose

"homophobic" is just my way of describing someone who is against homosexuality. Someone who would disown people, even their own kids for being LGBT, which is the type of person I don't want as a friend. Sheesh, what's the big deal about me using that word?

The deal is not about you using the term but about anyone self-identifying with it.

It seems like it's not PC to be homophobic these days, but I've had criticism by people here before because of the large age gap between me and my boyfriend. When will the day come where large age gap relationships become accepted too?

A hell of a lot of people are homophobic still, mainly religious people. But they contradict themselves.

With religion, it basically tells people it's a sin because you're giving into desires you're not supposed to give into with the body you were borrowed. However, most religion also states that you are not allowed to judge people and you are to be kind to all walks of life regardless of the situation.

So if this boy really is religious then he shouldn't be going around spouting hatred like that because he still needs to be tolerant of anyone who is LGBTQ+.

In other words, he's stupid, stop hanging around with him and do your best to find anyone else to hang out with because you don't need negative nonsense like that.

It's either stop hanging out with him or tell him that you don't think it's right to judge anyone by what they do in private as that's their own business and that you only really care if they're a cool person or not.

Something like that normally makes them shut up with their nonsense.

I feel there’s some sort of misunderstanding here.

Ask your friend how he feels about gay people.

He might be homophobic-phobic, rather than homophobic.

He had said "we don't do that crap or respect that crap" and "that's just flat out wrong". He even asked me if I was homophobic and said "I really hope you are because gays do some pretty disgusting crap".

Notice he said they don't RESPECT it. I don't think there's any misunderstanding. And yes, he did contradict himself there.

This is the song for you and your BF. This is about Shania Twain and her much older BF. The wikipedia article for this song says as much.

I am so sorry. I am even surprised he even admitted he is too because people out there will deny they are homophobic, racist, xenophobic, etc.

Some people really do a good job hiding it. I would say the ones who are aware will keep quiet about it, and those who are not are loud about it because they don't even realize how bigoted they are.

If this guy is THAT homophobic......it might mean he fears he has gay tendencies.

I’ve known people like this.

OMG you mean he could be in the closet gay.

Yes, this is why people say those who are loudly homophobic are actually closeted gay.

They may think they are hiding the fact they are gay but the opposite is true.

I've heard of this too.
My mum knew a guy when she was younger who everyone seemed to sense was gay but he was so terrified of admitting it (because back then homosexuality was frowned upon), that he talked nonstop about women, and never really talked about anything else. He started to be called a "sex pest", but I think he preferred that to people knowing that he's gay.

Then in the 90s he suddenly came out and now he is in a happy relationship with a nice man.

So who brings this type of stuff randomly into conversation?

Boston comedian Bill Burr has a funny skit when he's watching the football in a sport's bar and the white dude next to him see's a famous black footballer and he sees a vein in this dude's head and realises the n-word is a about to come out of his mouth. Burr prepares to move bar stools really fast as he doesn't want to be anywhere near this fool when slur is uttered and be associated with his idiocy.

There's a lesson in there for the OP somewhere

I recall the public loathing toward the gay community in the early 1980s with the rise of the AIDS virus. It emboldened a lot of "christian types" to say random stuff in public against homosexuality.

The homophobes are still lurking around but they are much better at hiding their personal opinions and reveal their prejudice around the church pulpits or mosques where they are comfortable they are around like-minded folk.