I went from moral and pure to evil and dirty sinner

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I was the most pure and kind person when I was happy in my life, and even after my life fell apart I still stuck to my creed of righteous living, however after a failed suicide attempt last week Ive lost my soul, my spirit, my will, and have pretty much lost everything righteous about me, everything good about me, and have lost the will to even try living.

When I was a righteous and gentle soul I never ever swore or used evil language, never told a lie, I only drank water and ate clean healthy organic food, I never ever felt any attraction to the opposite sex since thats dirty and wrong to have physical attraction, I was on top of my life as far as positive habits of brushing my teeth 3 times a day, taking vitamins every day, cleaning my room every week, and making profuse repentance and spiritual purification when I slipped up. Now I have fallen so low, have lost my spiritual and otherwise formerly righteous self, have embraced hedonism and the path of evil, and now I feel like a rotten shell of my former self. Right now I drink pop and juice even though its a major sin in my code to drink anything but pure water, ive missed my vitamins, several days I only brush my teeth once or twice instead of 3 times like I always did, ive become a liar, and ive developed attraction towards the opposite sex that I never used to have when I was myself.

I've become depressed and miserable

I dont even feel alive anymore

You are being too harsh on yourself, it is probably because of depression that your habits have changed.

Also none of the things you mentioned as "evil" are evil in my opinion. Eating unhealthy, lying and being attracted to someone are all natural things.

Being evil to me is more like commiting a crime, killing or hurting someone intentionally.

April is right, of course.

April is a smart person.

I don’t understand why drinking juice would be considered “sinful” or harmful by anybody.

I'm not being harsh on myself. I genuinely think ive become evil and fallen to the dark side for my mistakes and sins. I actually have nightmares everyday of me falling into evil and these abominable sins and wicked mistakes this week are proof of that

Eating unhealthy is a major, major, major sin and crime because it is bodily neglect, self mutilation and destruction of one's faculties and ability to be one's best

lying is the most evil since only the Truth is sacred and lying is sacrilege against the Truth

And having attraction is a sin because it is spiritually impure and defective to see a female and find her attractive. A pure soul doesnt lose sight of its goal. Also attraction is a corruption of one's spirit to see all life as innocent and sacred. Attraction leads to seeing others not as human but as desirable in a way that is impure, degrading and indicative of a spiritual disease. No way is that not evil

Drinking juice is a major sin because im only supposed to drink water in my religion and juice has sugar and sugar is poison

Are you a Jain?

No.

^oh, sorry.

I was wondering if there is a spiritual leader or elder in your religion whom you could speak to in order to gain a second opinion on your moral downfall. I'm not sure if your religion is super strict and judgemental or if your depression is distorting your thinking and you are being super strict upon yourself. Maybe another's perspective would help.

None of this stuff is evil.

Some is bad for your body.

Do what makes you feel good.

For me that wouldn't be overeating because I vomit afterwards.

^^Excellent suggestion.

Who not seek the opinion of an objective person who knows intimately the laws of your religion?

I don't follow any organized religion. Mine is way of life based on the spiritual path I've found, which is mostly 90% Islam with the other 10% my own values on right and wrong.

I don't consider myself a religious person but i live somewhere where most of the population consider themselves muslim and they do all of these things that you mention. They lie, deceive, cheat, hurt, oh and also see women merely as potential mothers and homemakers. They also eat VERY unhealthily, mostly fat and pastries and bread.

So i feel like, if you judge yourself this harshly you should also judge those other people. Obviously things like hurting someone else, violence and stuff should be judged. But if you consider this the same as drinking juice, it simply doesn't stop. You have to judge every single person on Earth.

And i feel like nobody's in any position to judge everyone. Because nobody can be perfect aside from Allah (God)

I do not know what religious beliefs you have.

I need to say something from a Christian perspective.

First I have tried what you have tried. It does not work. If we try to live perfect lives we come crashing down and end up in a mess.

I need to tell you something. Even if you are the worst sinner who ever lived, Jesus loves you soo much that He died for you.

So look to Jesus, put your hands in His and shake yourself free from the mess you are in as Jesus has a better way for you. It is not about your righteous living as by your own efforts, you will never make it. Jesus has taken your place and has already paid for your sin. All of it. Past, present and future sin. All you have to do is have faith. Nothing more. Just faith. And faith is easy. You do not have to do anything! You just have to be who you are!

That sure sounds like a frustrating place to be.
Sorry that you have to go through that.
I'm not going to tell you that your path and how you feel are right or wrong; yet I am going to make some commentary.
First part of that commentary is a question: what is the chance that some of your current feelings come from a sense of guilt at failing to meet your own standards?
Second part of that commentary is that there is a long history of we human beings having trouble at achieving and sustaining purity and perfection, it often seems to be a task which is destined to fail.
Third part of that commentary is that I suggest taking to heart what Mountain Goat has said.

Whether you read and follow the Koran(Q’uran?) or Bible or follow another spiritual path, you are judging and condemning yourself.
That is for God/Jehovah or Allah or what holy Creator you worship and serve.
Every spiritual path has followers and leaders and there is one who has answers and insights that you need.
When anyone is ill or in pain, they find a doctor.
You need a spiritual doctor.
There must be mosques and churches that are accessible to you, wherever you live.
They are there to minister to those who follow the paths that they teach;please go to one, call on the phone, these are the people with the understanding of what you are going through.
We at WP care so much, and though I agree with Mountain Goat, if you will be more open to counseling by an Iman, please please talk to one.
We want to know how you are, let us know.

I can't help wondering if you've developed some sort of issue like OCD or an eating disorder and you're using religion to punish yourself the way someone would use purging after binge eating to punish themselves or staving themselves to punish themselves.

You need to seek help from a professional.

Not sure what country you are in but here is a list of crisis helplines by country.
List of crisis lines