Feeling of being watched

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Highly_Autistic
Deinonychus
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05 Dec 2021, 2:58 pm

For example when im out in public i feel like people are staring at me. Even if they are not i get anxious.

Do you feel like that ?

I think thats a part of social anxiety



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05 Dec 2021, 3:16 pm

I think it's specifically social anxiety as understood through the lens of poor theory-of-mind.

I've heard people describe feeling like they're actually the main character or that others never fully seem like 'real people' to them despite intellectually understanding those feelings to not be true. That sounded like different people making similar observations about how ToM fails them at times. These sorts of failings aren't always on a conscious level that one can identify and articulate though.

Even if one intellectually understands that they're not always going to be the centre of attention if they struggle to integrate that understanding into how they intuitively perceive social situations they're going to be prone to incorporating small inaccurate perceptions into their understanding, say like feeling like everyone is always watching them. This would be far more likely if it actually is true sometimes (like they're awkward and unintentionally draw attention to themselves).

Depending on how often and how deeply those inaccurate perceptions are incorporated into one's understanding of their life they could even potentially contribute to the development of actual delusions. One who is able to consistently debunk those perceptions would be less likely to have them start to form into delusions; one who isn't, or who sometimes has them reinforced would be more likely to go in that direction. Environment and social supports might play a role, the same person could have different experiences at different points in their life.

Not that I've ever had to apply any of this to my own life. :oops:


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05 Dec 2021, 3:33 pm

I have social anxiety and I feel people are looking at me and noticing my every move. I also fear humiliation in public, but usually happens to me because I'm usually coincidentally in the wrong place at the wrong time. :roll: Makes me hate myself even though it's not always my fault. I just think of myself from a third person point of view and I think "God that stupid, dopey imbecile!" And I think that's what everyone else thinks of me too. After all, I have been treated like an imbecile by strangers in the past, so it's no wonder I'm now conditioned to feel like one.

When I was a child I lacked self-awareness for my age and believed that if people don't know you then they don't notice you or don't care what you're doing. I believed that up until I was about 15, when I started learning the hard way that strangers do notice you and judge you if you're doing anything weird (or even if you're not). So it took a few embarrassing moments for me to learn, and as an adult I've become the opposite end of the scale - I'm more afraid of what strangers think of me than what my own friends think of me. I feel the more a person knows you the less likely they judge, unless they're bullies. But even if a person I know does judge me I still prefer that to a stranger judging me!


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06 Dec 2021, 1:06 am

I had a tendency to think people were always talking or thinking about how weird I was

I realized layer that even if for a brief moment they thought I was weird, they would only think about it for 2 minutes before all the other things they had to do that day would overwhelm any small thought they had of me.



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10 Dec 2021, 6:07 am

Highly_Autistic wrote:
For example when im out in public i feel like people are staring at me. Even if they are not i get anxious.

Do you feel like that ?

I think thats a part of social anxiety


Perhaps you are on the Truman Show, like me. 8)



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10 Dec 2021, 6:38 am

I'm on the truman show so you can't be.


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Dillogic
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10 Dec 2021, 8:01 am

Yeah, I do. Likely multiple reasons for me.

Hypervigilance
Hypersensitivity
Optic nerve stuff/visual processing stuff
Overwhelmed when in crowded areas
Anxiety

I avoid crowded areas, and the feeling of being watched is just one of many reasons (it's not really a bothersome one compared to others).



kraftiekortie
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10 Dec 2021, 8:34 am

If somebody wants to watch very unimportant me, that's their problem :P

I just wish people had more time on their hands. People who watch others usually have not too much going on in their lives.



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10 Dec 2021, 4:34 pm

babybird wrote:
I'm on the truman show so you can't be.


Perhaps we are the "Truman Couple"?
Interested in creating a "Truman Family"? :scratch: :mrgreen:



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10 Dec 2021, 4:36 pm

Dillogic wrote:
Yeah, I do. Likely multiple reasons for me.

Hypervigilance
Hypersensitivity
Optic nerve stuff/visual processing stuff
Overwhelmed when in crowded areas
Anxiety

I avoid crowded areas, and the feeling of being watched is just one of many reasons (it's not really a bothersome one compared to others).


I used to have social anxiety.
Not any more. 8)



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10 Dec 2021, 4:39 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If somebody wants to watch very unimportant me, that's their problem :P

I just wish people had more time on their hands. People who watch others usually have not too much going on in their lives.


I sometimes say provocative things to get a rise out of my eve dropper gang-stalkers.
It is hilarious when they start eye-balling daggers at me, after they invade my privacy. :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:



Dillogic
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10 Dec 2021, 5:22 pm

Pepe wrote:
I used to have social anxiety.


Funnily, that's one anxiety disorder I don't have. I don't fear being negatively judged/scrutinized by others and humiliating myself in the context of social situations.

For me, it's more feelings of being in danger around others along with the hypersensitivity of autism. My brain sees everyone I don't know as a threat, so it brings forth the anxiety/hypervigilance.



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10 Dec 2021, 6:39 pm

Dillogic wrote:
Pepe wrote:
I used to have social anxiety.


Funnily, that's one anxiety disorder I don't have. I don't fear being negatively judged/scrutinized by others and humiliating myself in the context of social situations.

For me, it's more feelings of being in danger around others along with the hypersensitivity of autism. My brain sees everyone I don't know as a threat, so it brings forth the anxiety/hypervigilance.


Read my signature. 8)



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10 Dec 2021, 7:08 pm

Rationally, I know >99% of people are fine and won't attempt to harm me so I shouldn't feel vigilant around them (which is just compounded by autism and makes me feel sick, so it'd be far better for me to be rational). But, life events and all that make you watch the hands of strangers 24/7, put your back against the walls, look for cover/concealment, and map out exits, just in case; the imprint it gave you seems to be a lifelong thing. So yeah, I avoid crowds, and even individuals for that matter.

Supposedly, autism and PTSD aren't a good combo.



kraftiekortie
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10 Dec 2021, 7:51 pm

I got stabbed in the head once when I got mugged. I know how you feel.

I'm lucky I didn't get permanent PTSD from that event. But I still don't like it when I feel footsteps from the back.



Dillogic
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10 Dec 2021, 9:38 pm

It's a hell of a thing. Yeah, that can do it; sorry you had to go through that one.

What can happen once, can happen again, and someone relies on me, so enter memories and I need to keep myself functional for them, so enter avoidance (no matter how irrational; mental illness be mental illness and one can only fix it so much). It's quite predictable there. Though, the hypersensitivity of autism is physically similar, or even more uncomfortable in my opinion, and I have no need to be around crowds or people, so it works out either way.

I'm sure my now retired psychiatrist would be saying you need to confront such things (comfortably), and he's probably right, but I can do it if I have to, and that's what matters (which he would agree with). It's only an issue if you avoid it and it ends up harming you in some way.