John,
I have found it beneficial to let those I work with and support know about my medical condition. As was noted at the meeting yesterday, I was wearing a hat and, during the lunch break, put on my sunglasses. I have Asperger's Syndrome and with it comes sensory issues, the worst of which for me is light. That room is an example of one that is way too bright for me. I am unable to focus my eyes from the glare and have to block the direct light from above. I also avoid looking up at a high angle so the overhead lights do not come into my direct view. The way I usually handle this is by wearing a hat at informal/working meetings and if need be, I have been known to put on my sunglasses as well. At formal meetings I try to just live with the pain and discomfort. However, this can severely limit my ability to concentrate on the material and do my job effectively. I end up, like yesterday, spending a lot of time rubbing and closing my eyes, which in turn makes them tired and difficult to keep open. I also get frequent headaches from my light sensory issues. Wearing sunglasses and/or a hat are not meant as disrespectful, but are merely an attempt to adapt to the given environment in order to function. This issue has caused me a great deal of uneasiness since I became a professional in this business, as a lot of people are pretty hard-lined on such things. Here at Dahlgren I have disconnected the lights above my desk and sit in a dark corner. Most of the people here have come to accept my condition and do not seem bothered when I wear them.
In addition to the light sensory issues, I have sensory issues with touch, hearing, taste, and smell as well.
Touch has more to do with the clothes I wear, which means very loose fitting. I usually wear oversized jeans and an XL Polo shirt when here. For meetings uptown I try to wear dress pants with a collared shirt and tie. These are not comfortable to me, especially having a constricting tie and shirt, but I can usually bare them. For formal meetings, I do wear, as appropriate, a suit and tie, but would request I be notified in advance as I am not good at knowing what is appropriate, since in my mind I tend to be mostly concerned with comfort. Basically, if you want me to dress a certain way for a meeting, please let me know. Unless told otherwise, I will likely resort to the most comfortable clothing that I think is appropriate, which may not agree with what others think is appropriate. In addition to loose clothing, I also have some issues with being touched. There are times I absolutely cannot touch or be touched, even shaking hands, but this is rare. The only issues in my professional career are when someone comes up to me and puts their arm on me or something. This is never comfortable, but I try to bare the discomfort if the person is unaware of my condition. This is a bigger issue with my kids more than anything. There are times they want to rough-house with me and I just can't have physical contact, which is very frustrating.
Hearing is rarely a huge issue, but I do hear things on a different spectrum. At times I may start rubbing my ears because I am hearing a very high frequency sound that likely nobody else hears. Sound only becomes a problem when I am already overloaded with something else and there is a lot of noise, like many conversations in a small space. This has been more of an issue with my in-laws, as they all seem to talk at the same time and I tend to have to leave the room.
Taste is simple. I don't like much and am a very picky eater. This, in itself, is not necessarily unusual, but many times I will not eat food provided at meetings or go with groups to eat as it is difficult to find foods I like. I always order plain stuff, which can be a hassle at most restaurants. For some reason I was constantly picked on for this on my last program, especially when in Tucson. Let's just say Mexican food and I do not agree.
Smell can be a very distracting sensory issue for me. I am hyper-sensitive to most smells and have an adverse physical reaction to things like coffee, tobacco smoke, perfumes, colognes, and some foods (any fish, popcorn, etc.). I can become nauseous and my eyes begin to burn. As an example, yesterday was tolerable. The coffee was far enough away, for the most part, which is why I sat where I did, and when the people around me had open cups, the aroma did not last for too long. The worst issue here is an open, brewing pot of coffee. I have a very difficult time being in a room with one. I often leave my desk to go outside or to another building if someone fires up the coffee pot in my building. Starbuck's is my sworn enemy and I will cross the street to avoid walking near one. This has been a significant issue in my professional career as almost everybody drinks coffee and now, many do so all day. Sealed coffee mugs and pots are generally okay. Opened ones can cause issues though, but it is more of a problem if I am already overloaded due to bright lights and a lot of noise for instance. But I will try and sit as far away from any coffee pot, opened or closed, and as I learn who are the heavy coffee drinkers, I am likely to avoid sitting near them. This is nothing personal, but again just a way to adapt and avoid sensory overload issues.
Here is a generic description of some of the kinds of things that a person with Asperger's Syndrome may exhibit:
Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with Asperger's Syndrome may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It's important to remember that the person with Asperger's Syndrome perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior. In social interaction, many people with Asperger's Syndrome demonstrate gaze avoidance and may actually turn away at the same moment as greeting another. There is a general impression that Asperger's Syndrome carries with it superior intelligence and a tendency to become very interested in, and preoccupied with, a particular subject. Often this preoccupation leads to a specific career at which the adult is very successful. At younger ages, one might see the child being a bit more rigid and apprehensive about changes or about adhering to routines. This can lead to consideration of having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but it is not the same phenomenon. A few people with Asperger's Syndrome are very successful and until recently were not diagnosed with anything, but were seen as brilliant, eccentric, absent-minded, socially inept, and a little awkward physically.
The sensory issues seem to be the biggest concerns in my professional career. However, I do exhibit some other issues such as gaze avoidance. I cannot look someone directly in the eyes. I have learned to focus on people's mouths. If I do look someone in the eyes, my eyes immediately lose focus such that I am looking through them. Often when talking at meetings I will be looking down and not directly at people. When I walk, I often have my head down. This has to do with light sensory issues and gaze avoidance. If it ever appears I am doing this, it certainly is not intended to be rude. In fact, wearing the sunglasses helps with gaze avoidance as I can appear to be looking at people when I am talking to them, but am actually looking near them. Many people have preferred this for some reason.
Generally speaking, I do not do small talk. Happy Hour at a hotel has never been my thing. I don't drink alcohol either, so I tend to avoid these kinds of social settings. In past programs there were social events at formal meetings. I have about a 30-40% attendance record. This seemed to cause issues with a handful of people as the perception was I was not a part of the team. Large gatherings of people are extremely uncomfortable for me. I do them on occasion, as needed so as not to offend, but generally prefer to avoid them altogether.
I also am a very straight-shooter. I take things literally and assume what I am saying is done so as well. If at any time there may be a different interpretation or perception by others of what I am saying, then please let me know. I cannot express enough how much I prefer open, honest communication. People should not assume I get other meanings and interpretations. I've gotten better at this as I've gotten older, but still will not "get it" sometimes unless informed.
The great thing about having Asperger's Syndrome is I can be very focused on whatever task I take an interest in. So long as my work is interesting and something I want to do, I tend to do a very good job, technically speaking. I just struggle with the social aspects and office politics in my professional career. Usually misunderstandings. My brain is simply wired differently than 99.4% of the human species, which can make it difficult to socially interact unless those I am around understand my quirks.
v/r,
Darryl
_________________
I won?t tell anyone else how to be
You can be yourself, but just let me be me
08 Jan 2008, 6:41 pm
and 
