06 Jan 2018, 2:21 am
06 Jan 2018, 2:29 am
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,227
Location: the island of defective toy santas
06 Jan 2018, 2:45 am
sly, a guy way smarter than me said for you to be who you are and say what you feel, because the people who matter won't mind, and the people who mind don't matter. 
06 Jan 2018, 3:56 am
sly279 wrote:
I feel super horrible I hate this site and the people it allows to be here and make me feel horrible for existing. I disagree with them so they say I’m horrible and should t be in a relationship they call me misogynistic or racist. I hate them 
I don’t like hating but to me their horrible and I wish they’d leave me alone. I’m not going back to that thread. I dont know if I’ll message those women back I feel sick thinking about it and freeze up. And this probably close chance I have to finding someone in long while
One messaged me bunch earlier today and then just few mins ago
I don’t like hating but to me their horrible and I wish they’d leave me alone. I’m not going back to that thread. I dont know if I’ll message those women back I feel sick thinking about it and freeze up. And this probably close chance I have to finding someone in long while One messaged me bunch earlier today and then just few mins ago
You don't have to engage with people who are combative. It's 100% okay for you to walk away from or choose not to respond to people who are being aggressive/combative/rude/mean/argumentative etc. It's actually better if you don't keep the fight going, for all involved. Any significantly disruptive/distressful interaction causes not only a rise in the blood pressure of both parties but it typically engages your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight response) and causes cortisol and adrenaline to flow through your blood, which damages your cells in your body and deteriorates your overall health. So if you remove yourself from it, you're helping yourself and the other person to live a healthier life physically, not to mention emotionally/mentally.
06 Jan 2018, 3:56 am
06 Jan 2018, 3:57 am
auntblabby wrote:
because the people who matter won't mind, and the people who mind don't matter.
That's actually one of my favorites. It's solid gold.
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
06 Jan 2018, 6:53 pm
sly279 wrote:
I feel super horrible I hate this site and the people it allows to be here and make me feel horrible for existing. I disagree with them so they say I’m horrible and should t be in a relationship they call me misogynistic or racist. I hate them I don’t like hating but to me their horrible and I wish they’d leave me alone. I’m not going back to that thread. I dont know if I’ll message those women back I feel sick thinking about it and freeze up. And this probably close chance I have to finding someone in long while
One messaged me bunch earlier today and then just few mins ago
I don’t like hating but to me their horrible and I wish they’d leave me alone. I’m not going back to that thread. I dont know if I’ll message those women back I feel sick thinking about it and freeze up. And this probably close chance I have to finding someone in long while One messaged me bunch earlier today and then just few mins ago
No one here can make you feel anything. Only your own thoughts can make you feel any emotion. If you feel horrible, it's because your thoughts are horrible. Once you comprehend this you'll be able to begin learning how to treat your depression, think clearer, and feel better. Those other peoples words in a post don't make your emotions do anything. It's your reactions to them - your thoughts. Get your thoughts under control & you'll feel better. Period.
No one here DOESN'T want you to have a relationship. EVERYONE here is honest with you. Basically, people here say you ought to work on yourself and Not being suicidally depressed so that you're READY for a relationship. So that you can offer your best self to someone else, add to their life, not be a depressive anchor that only serves to bring someone else down. Who WANTS to start a relationship while thinking & feeling that way? Personally, when I've felt that way I've avoided people, friends/family etc, like the plague for months at a time so as Not to bring them down with my misery. Get your thoughts & emotions and general mental health under control and then you'll be a happier sly who has something wonderful to offer as an addition to someone else' life in a relationship is all we're saying.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.06 Jan 2018, 7:21 pm
07 Jan 2018, 6:25 pm
LittleCoyoteKat wrote:
It's ok. It's just that when you say things like that without being specific, we don't know exactly what you mean.
Do you believe them? Because that's what makes it mean anything. People can say mean things all day, every day, but its up to you to make the choice in whether or not you'll believe in what they're saying. And if you do believe them, and you agree, the beauty of being human is that you can change most things about yourself if you really want to.
It doesn't matter how long you've been depressed, it matters how long you've given in to letting it consume you, letting it make you feel sorry for yourself. And ultimately, even if it's been a long time, YOU get final say. You can change your mind about whether or not you want better/different/out of it.
Any woman you've met*. You're really not old, and even old people can end up meeting someone that makes whatever time they have worth it, happy, good. Like most things, it takes patience and a willingness to self evaluate your strengths and weaknesses, and then to put yourself out there once you've done any adjusting that needs doing.
Sorry I was just venting and don’t want to start another thread.
I dont know it’s hard not to believe something so many people all say.
Something’s can’t be changed. I am disabled and it prevents me from working most of not all full time jobs. So I can’t change my income status.
Maybe with some depression but situational depression only changes when the situation does.
I’m about to be 30 next month
all the good years(we’ll what should been good ) are behind me forever 
The idea of having to wait til I’m 80/90 to have Love is super depressing. No thanks.
The rest of what you said confused me
07 Jan 2018, 6:28 pm
07 Jan 2018, 6:29 pm
auntblabby wrote:
sly, a guy way smarter than me said for you to be who you are and say what you feel, because the people who matter won't mind, and the people who mind don't matter.
And if nobody doesn’t mind? What if all of humanity dislikes me for being a loser? That’s what it feels like most days.
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,227
Location: the island of defective toy santas
07 Jan 2018, 6:31 pm
sly279 wrote:
I’m about to be 30 next month all the good years(we’ll what should been good ) are behind me forever The idea of having to wait til I’m 80/90 to have Love is super depressing. No thanks. The rest of what you said confused me
all the good years(we’ll what should been good ) are behind me forever The idea of having to wait til I’m 80/90 to have Love is super depressing. No thanks. The rest of what you said confused mei'm twice your age and can tell you that at least one gets used to it, and gains a measure of peaceful perspective. I thought that point would never arrive but in the last few years it did. and most people don't notice most other people. so by don't of that, most people cannot possibly dislike what they don't even notice.
07 Jan 2018, 6:31 pm
LittleCoyoteKat wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I feel super horrible I hate this site and the people it allows to be here and make me feel horrible for existing. I disagree with them so they say I’m horrible and should t be in a relationship they call me misogynistic or racist. I hate them I don’t like hating but to me their horrible and I wish they’d leave me alone. I’m not going back to that thread. I dont know if I’ll message those women back I feel sick thinking about it and freeze up. And this probably close chance I have to finding someone in long while
One messaged me bunch earlier today and then just few mins ago
I don’t like hating but to me their horrible and I wish they’d leave me alone. I’m not going back to that thread. I dont know if I’ll message those women back I feel sick thinking about it and freeze up. And this probably close chance I have to finding someone in long while One messaged me bunch earlier today and then just few mins ago
You don't have to engage with people who are combative. It's 100% okay for you to walk away from or choose not to respond to people who are being aggressive/combative/rude/mean/argumentative etc. It's actually better if you don't keep the fight going, for all involved. Any significantly disruptive/distressful interaction causes not only a rise in the blood pressure of both parties but it typically engages your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight response) and causes cortisol and adrenaline to flow through your blood, which damages your cells in your body and deteriorates your overall health. So if you remove yourself from it, you're helping yourself and the other person to live a healthier life physically, not to mention emotionally/mentally.
I think for most of use it’s hard not to though. I try not to read their posts but if I do it pisses me off so I wanna respond. Suppose it’s th obsessive compulsiveness.
I’d have to remove myself from wp but that’d be hard and then I’d be alone, atleast here there’s s few people who’ll talk to me.
07 Jan 2018, 6:33 pm
07 Jan 2018, 6:35 pm
auntblabby wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I’m about to be 30 next month all the good years(we’ll what should been good ) are behind me forever The idea of having to wait til I’m 80/90 to have Love is super depressing. No thanks. The rest of what you said confused me
all the good years(we’ll what should been good ) are behind me forever The idea of having to wait til I’m 80/90 to have Love is super depressing. No thanks. The rest of what you said confused mei'm twice your age and can tell you that at least one gets used to it, and gains a measure of peaceful perspective. I thought that point would never arrive but in the last few years it did. and most people don't notice most other people. so by don't of that, most people cannot possibly dislike what they don't even notice.
You did. But we are different people. I won’t just get use to it, I’ve been alone for 30 years and I haven’t gotten use to it. I never will.
I don’t notice most spiders but I still hate them.
Most People dislike men like me and say we losers, whether they notice me personally or not they still think that about me cause I’m that type of man. A tree that falls in the woods still makes a noise if no ones around to hear it.
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,227
Location: the island of defective toy santas
07 Jan 2018, 6:39 pm
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