09 May 2018, 3:54 am
09 May 2018, 3:59 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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09 May 2018, 4:01 am
09 May 2018, 4:06 am
goldfish21
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09 May 2018, 4:17 am
yellowtamarin wrote:
Guys and gals start chatting (and possibly flirting) with each other in public places plenty, where I live. I've seen it. I've done it. I've had it done to me. It happens.
And yeah, sometimes it's done in a creepy way. But plenty of times it's perfectly normal.
I don't get why this reality (in some parts of the world at least) is so hard to believe.
And yeah, sometimes it's done in a creepy way. But plenty of times it's perfectly normal.
I don't get why this reality (in some parts of the world at least) is so hard to believe.
Thank you!
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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.The_Face_of_Boo
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09 May 2018, 4:26 am
09 May 2018, 4:40 am
goldfish21 wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
People chat here all the time to random strangers. I wouldn't expect a man I didn't know (unless he's drunk) to approach me at night if there weren't other people about and I would think it a bit odd if someone stepped out in front of me as I was walking and started a conversation, but other than that it's very common. I have been asked out in the street but that was a while ago and I don't recommend it. I think the important thing is what you're saying. If it's the kind of thing you could say to anyone then it's fine, and they're rude if they don't respond. If it's something you would only say to a woman you find attractive, don't say it.
Generally a good rule of thumb for keeping things PG vs. crossing the line into R rated, but what if a guy wouldn't say hi to random women he didn't find attractive and he would say hi to start a conversation with one he did find attractive? What's wrong with that?
There's nothing wrong with a heterosexual man having a heterosexual agenda of striking up conversations with women he finds attractive in hopes that she might return the signal and agree to exchange contact information and/or go on a date.It assumes nothing.
If a woman isn’t attracted to a guy she’s under no obligation to exchange contact information or agree to a date. She’s not even obligated to carry on a conversation. She could respond with a simple “Hi.” In return and leave it at that. Or should could have a brief conversation and then do the classic cliche thing of giving him a fake name and number of she felt so inclined to provide contact info but was not interested in him - this happens all the time in the bar scene.
But there is literally no possible way for a guy walking down the street to know if a woman he finds attractive might also find him attractive unless he stops and starts a conversation and finds out for himself by asking in an indirect way. There is literally nothing wrong with a guy initiating conversation with a pretty girl in hopes that she might be interested in him. He’s not a mind reader; that’s why he’s to politely engage in conversation and test her interest levels without being a creep. If she’s interested, she’ll let him know by exchanging contact info and agreeing to meet in the future. If she’s not, she won’t, and single guy moves on to try his luck another day with another woman who may reciprocate signals of attraction. But to suggest that a guy should never start a conversation or ask a girl out unless he already knows she’s attracted to him is absurd. A guy misses 100% of the shots he doesn’t take & ought to be encouraged to put himself out there and find out if someone he fancies is into him, too. Just do it appropriately vs like some horned up creepy weirdo.
goldfish21
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09 May 2018, 4:47 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm actually shocked that the one on these forums who's special interest is dating and relationships doesn't realize that people meet in public at random and start up conversations with one another just like this.
_________________
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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.09 May 2018, 4:57 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm not sure that such a formal introduction like that is so common. I think more often it's just that a conversation starts. Name exchanging could happen later once it seems the conversation is going somewhere*. But yeah, your example could happen, especially in the more social hubs of the city.
(*and sometimes not, like one time I got chatting with a guy at a zoo, and we spent an hour or two wandering around together, then we parted ways and I realised we never even introduced ourselves
)
Last edited by yellowtamarin on 09 May 2018, 5:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
09 May 2018, 5:03 am
Just realised this is The Haven. Sorry if any of my posts have been inappropriate, I thought this was L&D 
The_Face_of_Boo
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09 May 2018, 5:14 am
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm not sure that such a formal introduction like that is so common. I think more often it's just that a conversation starts. Name exchanging could happen later once it seems the conversation is going somewhere*. But yeah, you're example could happen, especially in the more social hubs of the city.
(*and sometimes not, like one time I got chatting with a guy at a zoo, and we spent an hour or two wandering around together, then we parted ways and I realised we never even introduced ourselves
)Then give me a concrete example how a guy would ask out a stranger girl in public without him introducing himself. **scratching head**
I need to know because goldfish is like "OMFG GUYs ask out gals in the STREET ALL the TTIME!!" .
Give me concrete examples, you too Raleigh since you joined his club.
The_Face_of_Boo
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09 May 2018, 5:19 am
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm actually shocked that the one on these forums who's special interest is dating and relationships doesn't realize that people meet in public at random and start up conversations with one another just like this.
I'm actually shocked by you too, you seem to live on another planet. You talk about things I have never seen in my life.
It's something I never do, nor I see guys doing it -
I have never seen it in Lebanon, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Cyprus, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Turkey.
I have never seen it in Czech Republic, except in bars.
Those are places I went to frequently.
- in coffee shops only people who know each other already sit on same table talk to each other, but I wouldn't attemp to next to a girl , on the same table, whom I know nothing about and start talking to her ; nor I have seen a friend or acquaintance approaching a total stranger in a coffee shop. It just doesn't happen in my sane world.
09 May 2018, 5:33 am
goldfish21
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09 May 2018, 5:35 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm not sure that such a formal introduction like that is so common. I think more often it's just that a conversation starts. Name exchanging could happen later once it seems the conversation is going somewhere*. But yeah, you're example could happen, especially in the more social hubs of the city.
(*and sometimes not, like one time I got chatting with a guy at a zoo, and we spent an hour or two wandering around together, then we parted ways and I realised we never even introduced ourselves
)Then give me a concrete example how a guy would ask out a stranger girl in public without him introducing himself. **scratching head**
I need to know because goldfish is like "OMFG GUYs ask out gals in the STREET ALL the TTIME!!" .
Give me concrete examples, you too Raleigh since you joined his club.
She responded to your example and told you how realistic it is. The part you're not getting is that conversation starters, introductions, and asking someone out aren't set in stone scripted words. They're spontaneous, fluid, momentary, and react to the situation/scene/people involved. People are not robots - especially NT's.
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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.The_Face_of_Boo
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09 May 2018, 5:39 am
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm not sure that such a formal introduction like that is so common. I think more often it's just that a conversation starts. Name exchanging could happen later once it seems the conversation is going somewhere*. But yeah, you're example could happen, especially in the more social hubs of the city.
(*and sometimes not, like one time I got chatting with a guy at a zoo, and we spent an hour or two wandering around together, then we parted ways and I realised we never even introduced ourselves
)Then give me a concrete example how a guy would ask out a stranger girl in public without him introducing himself. **scratching head**
I need to know because goldfish is like "OMFG GUYs ask out gals in the STREET ALL the TTIME!!" .
Give me concrete examples, you too Raleigh since you joined his club.
She responded to your example and told you how realistic it is. The part you're not getting is that conversation starters, introductions, and asking someone out aren't set in stone scripted words. They're spontaneous, fluid, momentary, and react to the situation/scene/people involved. People are not robots - especially NT's.
Which example? Her totally out-of-topic Zoo example that it's a complete different scenario than I am talking about? Zoo is like touristic interest places, where there are guards and guides, it's common there for strangers to chit chat about the things (or animals) they're all there to see.
And even in her Zoo example the guy didn't attempt to ask her out and didn't even introduce himself.
Her Zoo example is useless.
goldfish21
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09 May 2018, 5:41 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm actually shocked that the one on these forums who's special interest is dating and relationships doesn't realize that people meet in public at random and start up conversations with one another just like this.
I'm actually shocked by you too, you seem to live on another planet. You talk about things I have never seen in my life.
It's something I never do, nor I see guys doing it -
I have never seen it in Lebanon, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Cyprus, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Turkey.
I have never seen it in Czech Republic, except in bars.
Those are places I went to frequently.
- in coffee shops only people who know each other already sit on same table talk to each other, but I wouldn't attemp to next to a girl , on the same table, whom I know nothing about and start talking to her ; nor I have seen a friend or acquaintance approaching a total stranger in a coffee shop. It just doesn't happen in my sane world.
I have never been to any of those places so can't speak to them.
Coffee shops and small restaurants/lounges are rather specifically designed for singles to mingle, really. There are often large tables with many chairs around them not intended for a group, but rather for several individuals to sit, do their work, talk to one another etc. Some restaurants are even this way, intended for strangers to meet at random and share a meal at the same table - much like bars where anyone can sit next to someone else at the bar, except dining tables are setup this way. Or smaller ones in coffee shops. It's common courtesy to ask if the seat is taken or if someone is expecting a guest or if it's alright if you sit down next to them, and then boom, random strangers share friendly conversation - usually completely platonic, but sometimes there's a spark and people meet someone they're attracted to, there's mutual interest, and they exchange contact info so they can keep in touch and see each other again. This is all a very normal part of very typical NT society socializing stuff.
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