Addicted To Suffering.

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I think we should differentiate preparing for bad stuff and defeatism.

Let's make sure there is enough room on lifeboats for everyone

is a different kind of negative thinking than

Metal ships culd never sail.

I think it is important to recognise the distinction between peoples reactions.

I'm split.
I see such potential in Sly, as I think others do too.

However... It is emphatically not a case that you, Sly, have never gotten really appropriate well considered advice.

To discount that is to discount other autists precious social energy that they invested in you.

This is what is irritating for me and I dont know, possibly others here, to see you discount reality without consideration, a taking for granted of the disproportionate quantity of support you have recieved over the years.

I suggest that you start giving support back and perhaps stop (or reduce it drastically) seeking it for a while, (some abstinence, like a diet,) actually spending an hour thinking out how to help solve someone else's dilemma, before you post about your own problems.

Under this definition commiserating doesnt equal support. It's got to focus on solutions.

The idea behind this solution is to help you with caring about others, really really trying and caring on their terms, not yours.
Then come back and seek commiseration, or advice as you will be less likely to take other peoples time and energy for granted. This will help reduce the general irritation directed at you at times.

Otherwise perhaps your signature or first line in the post should include a disclaimer stating clearly in autistic friendly language that you are not looking for solutions, but commiseration. (Considering this is the only place you seek support) This will be a fairer approach to take with communication to the other autists on this site who perhaps like me feel that you have been disingenuous about seeking support many times before. I wouldn't feel that way had you stated that you didn't want people to spend their time and limited social energy coming up with solutions to help you. Or discounted well considered advice by putting it in the same category as empty advice.

You have such potential, i wish you would stop taking it for granted, you always have something to loose, no matter how much you loose there is always more to loose.

Sly sweety,
Here we clearly have a situation where you are respected and liked greatly on WP, and you have difficulty accepting the fact. I know from personal experience, that sometimes others will love me and respect me during the hard times when I cannot find any love for myself at all.

There’s nothing wrong with being cautious and diligent in preventing bad stuff from happening. That’s a type of TRUE positive thinking.

But to assume a bad outcome in all instances, especially when evidence exists for the possibility of a good outcome is definitely NOT positive thinking. This sort of “assuming the worst,” in my opinion, is behind much of the apathy found in people with evident potential.

I would like to add that OCD, Complex PTSD, PTSD, anxiety and depression can prevent the best of us from being positive.Also, those of us who have suffered prolonged abuse and were/are not validated by those who should have protected them and loved them in childhood, may not be capable of feeling the self -worth that is necessary in order to thrive and accept that they deserve pleasure and positive outcomes.

Just don’t treat people who try to offer positive advice like they’re trying to hurt you.

I have no intention of hurting anybody else when I seek to offer what I see as an alternative solution to situations which keep people stuck. I’m not saying I’m always right.

I’m saying even considering an alternative is much better than remaining stuck because of a fear of the “unknown.”

Many times, doing something is better than doing nothing.

To be honest, I almost always feel better when I try my best.

I agree with Isabella. I sometimes feel I just want a hug myself---rather than reams of advice.