scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Uninspired for the moment.

6

I went to bed last night at 10:30 which is 4 hours earlier than I usually do. I woke up at 7 this morning feeling so refreshed. I think I should start going to bed around 11 or so from now on.

- I just feel like #$%

My boss, my mother, other people around me off line are blowing my feelings out of preportion. They want me to look, sound and act like a certain kind of person. Something kind of like little miss smileing android. I'm tired of being told how to feel!

People everywhere are so @#$% paranoid, that when I talk to myself or an imaginary friend/foe, they think it's at them. (That's a real pain to deal with) Why does this judgment #$% keep happening to me?

-10. Things have been just plain awful lately. I finally realized that I have to seek professional help. I'm losing my ability to function in the real world. I don't want pills. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to do anything. But I'm a liability to my wife and son. They need me to be stable. I'm so afraid that the psychiatrists will tell me there's nothing wrong with me, that I don't have AS, that I'm just angry and mean. God, if I could amputate the part of me that makes me feel this way I'd do it myself.

aobut 4

-5

The disclaimer on any philosophy course might as well say "You must be neurotypical in order to pass this class".

-4

I feel kind of pissed off right now.

Not bad, still about a 3.

Looks like this is the big one, I`m slowly
selfdestructing and i dont care anymore
it doesn`t matter - wish you all the best

^ WTFUDGE? ^
....................
erm, i'm about a -2 just now.......

I'd put myself at 4 today.

32 - 32 years of this and for what - I have one
big regret in my life, just one, everything else
can go to hell. I truly regret not blowing my
head clean off 25 years ago, why i didn`t do
that is beyond me, what the hell was i thinking,
think i died a long time ago, i just haven`t stopped
breathing yet or something - its just nothing left,
a tired hollow shell of a boy that once was but
am no more. Every day is spent doing two things;
trying to not feel the pain and dreaming of feeling
something - theres no point in that

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999- I am the most famous artist in the world or will be soon! Now a major magazine wants my story! Has anyone heard of Dog Fancy? That is the biggest magazine out there for dog owners. My dog died awhile ago but she helped me come mostly out of autism along with my artwork. I plan on being in a few magazines a year to get more famous because my story is truly unique. How many so called "schizophrenic" autistic savants are there that has their own business? How many have graduated with honors at a college? How many people have come so far out of autism (before there were any treatments) that no one even notices that I am autistic? No one except doctors who specialize in autism would know that I am autistic. When I talk to people and tell them they are shocked that someone with autism is having a coversation and having eye to eye contact perfectly. How many autistic people have met Wyland, one of the most well known of all artists out there and he loved my work so much that he held it up to a crowd of 100 people and they all clapped? There was an autism magazine that was interested in me awhile ago but she has been so busy that she hasn't had time for writing stories (it was the Autism Spectrum Quarterly Magazine). But I might be in some local ones as well. I have been in the newspaper 100000000000000000000000000000 times in my area that I think they are tired of writing about me. I live in the middle of nowhere so they have nothing better to cover anyways. My goal in life is to make enough money to take my family on a vacation that they will never forget. I am talking about either going to Australia or Europe or even South America. For the Australia and South America it would be amazing to see the animals in the wild that I have drawn. I would also love to go to Africa but it is too dangerous there. I did an Africa scene and its beautiful. I also did a South America scene and a few marine life drawings as well. I have drawn at least 50 dogs and have a total of around 250-300 designs of different animals on stuff. I'm getting manic! I also have an art show tomorrow that I just found out about today. I will be in 2 art shows tomorrow at the same time. One is one that you don't have to be there for because it isn't just there for tomorrow's show it is permanently in the gallery so I might sell some stuff tomorrow even though I won't be there. The other show is one they expect you and your family to be there and I sell stuff also there. The one I won't be at is Arts Walk in Olympia, WA and the other is Oyster Fest in Shelton, WA which is in the middle of nowhere. About Dog Fancy according to my mom Oprah reads it so if she sees it she might do a talk show but that is only a small chance anyways. I'm so happy! Next year is the best ever! (that is probably when the issue is coming out). I will also be in more art shows next year and getting in other galleries. There is a place that is pretty big in my area that wants my art cards. 90% of the places that we go to sell my art cards want it. Only one so far wasn't interested. They said, "cards aren't selling well in his store" but the cards they had I believe were just black and white photos of dogs. Mine are hand drawn art designs. About Arts Walk (that is one of the biggest events out in my area) I will be in the best spot in next spring's Arts Walk. It is in a toy store in the middle of the action. I also found out that Tacoma has an Arts Walk every month so I am going to try to get there as well. I am famous! Bow to the famous artist!

1

I think I'm trying to get depressed. Must......... fight it........... happy thoughts........

0 HALT